Chapter 192

Those of us still on our feet spent the rest of the day tending to the wounded. God, there were so many of them. Every wound I saw, every cry of pain I heard, felt like a knife to the gut. Everywhere I went, I saw pain, death, and gore.

It was all too much.

“Hey,” Jack said, giving me a concerned look. “Take a break if you need to.”

He was still covered in blood, and I could barely stand to look at him. He’d taken a few minutes to wipe most of it off his face, but he hadn’t stopped to change his clothes. None of us had. There hadn’t been time.

“I can’t.”

I couldn’t get my father’s face out of my mind. Jack took me to his body shortly after the fight ended, tears in his eyes. I allowed myself to cry only for a minute before I helped him move the body to the small grassy area behind the church. That was where we were laying out the dead before we’d give them all proper funerals.

There were already too many bodies out there. Seth had collapsed beside Jenna’s bloody form and hadn’t moved in the hours since. None of us tried to get him to, and even if we had, I knew he wouldn’t. If it were Matt lying there, I wouldn’t leave his side, either. Just the sight of his wounds made me want to sob.

Nina was out here with us, tending to the wounded and gathering up the dead, even though Enzo was lying inside with some serious wounds. He was conscious, at least, which was good. We lay him down beside Matt, leaving them to each other's company. It made me feel better that at least Matt wasn’t alone. I didn’t think I would have been able to leave his side otherwise.

“Well, I think the wounded are all inside at this point,” Fiona said, turning to peer at the street.

Rubble lined the block, heaviest where I’d used my powers. I hadn’t known what I was doing. All I’d kept thinking was that I needed to get back to Matt. As a result, countless people were dead because of me. The fact that I ended the fight didn’t really register with my conscience. People still died. I had their blood on my hands, and I worried I’d never wash it away.

I glanced down at my hands. Blood really was coated beneath my fingernails and smeared across my palms. The sight of it had me shaking in an instant, and Jack stepped closer to me.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

I shrugged out of his grip. “There are more bodies. More people might need our help.”

Jack gave me a sympathetic look. “They’re gone, Celeste. There’s nothing we can do for them now.”

He turned me by the shoulders and nodded toward the church. “Go sit with Matt. I’m sure he wants to see you. You’ve been out here for hours.”

“No one else is stopping,” I argued.

Fiona gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “We’ll keep going, Celeste, don’t worry. You can come back later if you want.”

“Really, you’ve done enough,” Jack added.

I could have said the same to him. Without Jack, I’d be dead. Matt would be too, and we would have lost this war. He saved us.

I pulled him into a tight hug, the first one I’d given him all day. His arm came around me without hesitation and I leaned my head on his shoulder. I avoided touching his bad arm. It was clearly bothering him, but he hadn’t let it slow him down all day.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” I said.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he answered.

I took a step back. “You should rest that shoulder.”

He shook his head. “I’m alright. Don’t worry about it.” He looked a little pale, but I didn’t mention that to him. Fiona would look out for him. She’d been glued to his side since the fight ended. A few times I caught them holding hands, but I hadn’t commented on it.

“Go on,” he said, giving me a light shove. “Go hang with Matt.”

“We’ll come see you guys in a bit,” Fiona added.

“Okay.”

My limbs felt like they were made of lead as I turned and trudged back to the church. Nina was standing outside, directing people. The bodies of the Crescent wolves and the Schreibers were being laid out on the other side of the church. Lying amongst them were Alyx, Ronan, Kai, and the twins. Beck and Noah weren’t there. They must have run when they noticed the fight turning, and I was secretly glad.

They were still so young. I just hoped they didn’t turn out like their brothers.

I’d helped carry the bodies over there earlier. Conflicting emotions still warred in my heart. I felt vindicated and remorseful and incredibly guilty. They weren’t all bad. The worst part of this fight was that it all felt so pointless. No one really won in the end.

Nina gave me a nod, and I returned the gesture. “I’ll be right back,” I said.

“No.” She shook her head. “Take a break. We don’t need you.”

“Okay,” I breathed.

I climbed the steps up to the open church doors. A basin of water had been set up at the entrance for people to wash off their hands. It was murky with blood, and I scrunched up my face.

“Over here,” a familiar voice said. I turned to find Ted looking at me. He was lying down on the floor, his leg bandaged. Andrew lounged beside him, a wicked wound across his face and chest. “There’s more water.” He nodded at the nearby basin. “Fresh.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled.

I washed the blood from my hands, furiously scrubbing at my skin until it turned red. When I was finally done, I caught Ted and Andrew both looking at me with furrowed brows. “I wanted to thank you,” Andrew said. “We were losing out there. If you hadn’t used your powers when you did, me and Ted would have been dead.”

“As a doornail,” Ted agreed, flashing me a grin.

I gave him a tentative smile. “Well, I’m glad you’re both here.”

A warm hand clamped down on my shoulder, and I flinched slightly. Kelly gave me a sympathetic look, letting her hand fall back to her side. “Thanks Celeste,” she said.

She’d been in the church all afternoon, tending to the wounded. Despite the gash in her own arm, Kelly hadn’t let that stop her from helping.

“Matt’s over there,” she said, pointing in the opposite direction.

“Right, thanks.”

I walked away, my heart straining. When I looked over my shoulder, Kelly was sitting beside her brother, her arm around his shoulders. At least some of us made it out okay. That had to count for something.

I found Matt in the far corner, leaning against a pew. Enzo was asleep beside him, his bandaged chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm.

Matt met my gaze and gave me a half smile. He patted the ground beside him, and I sat down, pulling my knees to my chest.

“You look exhausted,” he said.

I glanced at him. His entire torso was wrapped in bandages, not to mention his leg. The break was so bad, he still couldn’t put weight on that foot, even though the bone had snapped back into place hours ago. Dark circles marred the skin beneath his eyes, and specks of blood still dotted his face.

“So do you,” I answered.

He shrugged. “Not in the mood to sleep.” He looked sideways at Enzo, who was still sleeping like the dead.

“I heard about Jenna,” he said. “And Henry.” His expression shuttered. “Seth must be struggling.” I couldn’t stand the look of sorrow on his face.

“He hasn’t left her side.” My voice broke a little, and he reached for my hand, intertwining our fingers.

“I don’t know what to do now,” I admitted, glancing around at the makeshift hospital. Groans and heavy breathing echoed through the arched space. Most of them I didn’t even know. They were soldiers sent here by Nina’s dad, and dozens of them were lying outside dead. It didn’t seem fair that I didn’t even know their names.

“How do we go on?” I asked.

Matt squeezed my hand. “One day at a time.”

I let out a shaky breath. “Yeah. I guess that’s the only option.”