Chapter 55

Celeste

The cool weight of the mask settled in my hands, and the mirror inside the bathroom reflected a young woman struggling with her identity. Fiona’s words still rang in my ears.

Was I really becoming too attached to my ‘Rose’ persona? Was I using it as a crutch instead of facing the real world with its judgments and challenges?

The mask, beautifully crafted and mysterious, represented a freedom I hadn’t known before. But now, it also felt like chains, binding me to a lie that was growing harder and harder to maintain.

I glanced at Fiona through the mirror, noticing the look of disappointment in her eyes. It stung, like salt in an open wound.

“You’re right,” I admitted, my voice faltering. “I’ve been using ‘Rose’ as a way to escape. But now, it’s becoming too tangled.”

She sighed deeply, her posture relaxing slightly. “I just want what's best for you, Celeste,” she said quietly. “I’m not judging you, you know.”

“I know,” I replied, blinking back a tear that was threatening to come. At that moment, I felt like a bad friend. I was ditching Fiona again, disappointing her, all for the sake of Matt and ‘Rose’. “I just wish that I could be honest with him.”

Fiona nodded understandingly. “You’ll have to tell him the truth eventually,” she said. “He’ll be upset if you tell him now. But he’ll be heartbroken if you keep waiting to tell the truth.”

There was a silence. Once again, as always, Fiona was right. I had to tell Matt eventually. But I couldn’t do it tonight. I didn’t know why… I just couldn’t.

“But for now...” she paused, her gaze shifting to the bathroom door as though reading my mind, “Matt’s waiting. And maybe it’s time to start untangling those knots.”

Taking a deep breath, I fit the mask onto my face and slipped in the colored contacts. I looked at myself in the mirror, meeting Fiona’s gaze.

“You’re disappointed in me, aren’t you?” I murmured.

Fiona said nothing. Instead, she stepped forward, slipping off her jacket and handing it to me.

“Give me your jacket,” she said, “and wear mine. Just in case Matt recognized you earlier in the crowd.”

I gingerly took the jacket and slipped it on. It was a lot less oversized than the one that I had been wearing, and showed off my body, even through the hoodie that I wore beneath it.

“Are you sure this looks alright?” I asked, turning this way and that in the mirror. “You can really see my butt in these leggings.”

Fiona laughed as she shrugged on my oversized coat.

“You look cute,” she said, draping her arm around my shoulder. “You know, once you get that job, get away from Jack, and save up a little money, you can buy whatever clothes you want. And you won’t need to worry about how your body looks anymore. You’ll be a free woman.”

I followed Fiona’s gaze in the mirror, chewing on her words.

The idea of ‘freedom’—of being able to buy what I wanted, wear what I wanted, and look how I wanted—seemed like such a foreign concept to me. And it seemed horribly far away at this point.

Truthfully, I didn’t know if I would ever get to that point. Fiona, for all of her amazing qualities, didn’t fully understand the extent of my relationship with my brother. She likely never would.

All Jack and I had was each other. Our parents were gone, and we didn’t have anyone else. Yes, he was overbearing and could be a major jerk a lot of the time. His words stung and he ruined my self esteem. But I didn’t have anyone else when it came to family.

Extricating myself from his life would be harder than Fiona realized.

I took a deep breath then, stepping away from Fiona.

“Thanks for this,” I said, gesturing to her coat. “Wish me luck.”

“Good luck, ‘Rose’,” Fiona said with a tense smile. “Don’t get into too much trouble.”

As I stepped outside, the evening air was refreshingly cool against my skin, making the weight on my shoulders seem a little lighter.

Matt stood waiting in the quad just as promised, his eyes scanning the area until they landed on ‘Rose’. The smile he gave me was genuine, but there was a hint of something else—a hint of confusion, perhaps even suspicion.

“Hey, Matt,” I said, sticking my hands in my pockets as I approached.

“You came after all,” he said.

I nodded. “Of course.”

With a soft smile, Matt jerked his head in the other direction, toward the athletic fields. They were dark beneath the night sky, perfect for a girl who didn’t want to be seen. “Walk with me?” he asked.

I nodded gratefully, and we began to walk. Occasionally, our shoulders brushed, but neither of us spoke for a few minutes.

“You played incredibly well tonight,” I said, breaking the silence as we began to walk side by side along the dark athletic field.

He grinned, a bashful chuckle escaping him. “Thanks. It was a close game. Nearly thought we would lose.”

“Your last-minute goal was impressive,” I praised.

Matt looked at me, his eyebrows knitting together. “I kept looking for your mask in the crowd. I wanted to see if ‘Rose’ was watching, but I couldn’t spot you anywhere.”

My heart raced, and a knot of anxiety formed in my stomach. “Oh, I...” I hesitated, searching for the right words, “I wasn’t wearing it in the crowd. Wanted to surprise you, you know?”

He glanced at me, that same hint of confusion evident. “Surprise me? But why?”

Shrugging, I tried to maintain my casual demeanor. “I just thought it would be fun to switch things up, I guess.”

“And your homework?” he questioned, looking straight ahead. “You told me you had loads to do.”

Once again, I found myself scrambling for a response. “I was planning to start on it after the game, so technically, I wasn’t lying when I said I had homework. I just... wasn’t working on it when you called.”

He was silent for a moment, processing my words. “You’re acting a bit strange tonight, ‘Rose’,” Matt finally admitted, a thread of concern lacing his tone. “Is everything okay?”

I bit my lip, the burden of my lies weighing heavily on me. “I’m just... overwhelmed, I guess. It’s been a long day.”

He gave me a searching look, as though trying to unravel the mystery that was ‘Rose’. “If there’s something you want to talk about, you know you can trust me, right?”

My heart ached at his words. He was genuine, sincere, and here I was, drowning in a sea of deception. Fiona’s words from earlier echoed in my mind, making me feel even more like a fraud.

“I appreciate that, Matt,” I replied, giving him a small smile, though it didn’t quite reach my eyes.

As we continued our walk, the weight of the secrets between us seemed to grow heavier. With every step, the realization that I couldn’t continue living a double life became more apparent. The lies were piling up, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep track of them. The mask, once a symbol of liberation, now felt like a burden.