Chapter 71

My heart was in my stomach as I stepped into my childhood home, sensing Jack’s looming presence behind me. I heard the front door slowly closing, and just as it clicked closed, Jack’s voice boomed across the room.

“What the hell were you thinking!?” Jack shouted, causing me to wince as I dared to face him.

“I-I…” I tried, but I came up with nothing else.

“You lied to me. Again,” Jack pressed on. “You should have never been at that party. Are you too stupid to realize that no one wanted you there!?”

Just as he’d wanted, Jack’s words were like a knife twisting in my stomach. I wondered if this was the speech he’d planned our entire drive home. Perhaps he’d been carefully crafting the right words to tear me down.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately,” Jack continued despite my lack of response. “But clearly I can’t trust you.”

“Yes, you can!” I shouted desperately. I could see the betrayal in his eyes as he stared at me and I knew what he was planning. My cage was about to become smaller, my puppet strings tighter.

I couldn’t let that happen. I was already suffocated enough - I couldn’t lose the small amount of air I still possessed.

“I didn’t plan on going. Really, I didn’t,” I rushed out. “But Fiona called me and she needed help. So I-“

“Stop lying to me!” Jack called over me, rattling my bones. I bit my lip as I shook my head, trying to ward off my panic.

“I’m not lying,” I managed, my voice hoarse and broken. My words were pure irony considering lying was exactly what I was doing. But I couldn’t bring myself to stop.

Lying had become second nature to me. Even as I stood there caught and defenseless, my instincts still insisted on finding an excuse.

I looked to Rose first, begging her to come up with something. But she had nothing.

So I turned to Celeste instead, and yet the result was the same.

Nothing.

I kept spinning, looking back and forth between Rose and Celeste as I tried to figure out which one could bail me out this time. Which one was the deceitful one? Rose? Celeste? Both? Neither?

Or had I lied so many times that my well of excuses had dried up? I guess I could only be lucky for so long and now there was truly nowhere else to hide.

Instead, my throat only grew tighter, tears beginning to collect in my eyes. All I could do was begin to accept my defeat.

“I’m sorry,” I finally offered as I had nothing else. I balled my hands up at my sides as I dipped my chin. My fingernails dug into my palms - my last resort to keep myself together. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want your apology,” my brother practically spit. “It’s useless. You’ve been lying to me for weeks. Don’t try to deny it, I know it’s true.”

I pressed my nails deeper into my skin, feeling a prick as they dug in.

“I’ve tried to warn you, Celeste, but obviously you’re not listening. What? Did you think you’re invincible just because you’ve been wearing different clothes? Lost a little weight?”

“No,” I brushed out, still looking down.

“Or is it because you’ve been seeing someone behind my back?” he gritted out.

My eyes shot you to meet his, a sob trying to escape my lips. “I’m not seeing anyone, Jack! I told you!”

My brother’s cold stare continued to pierce into me, studying my face as he drank in my words.

“Then give me your phone,” he stated.

My mouth fell open, my eyes growing wide. “What?” I practically whispered.

Abruptly, Jack shoved his hand toward me, his eyes wild as he stared me down.

“Give me your phone, Celeste,” he ordered again.

Immediately, I began to shake my head. “No, no. I -“

“If you’re not lying and having nothing to hide then it shouldn’t be a problem, right?” my brother toyed with me. “Don’t make me ask a third time.”

Jack’s hand came closer, prompting me again. Once more, I fiercely shook my head, taking a step back.

“No,” the word tumbled out of me as tears continued to well up in my eyes. I likely looked like a toddler refusing to give up their favorite toy, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t give him my phone.

I barely had anything that was mine anymore. My room was a form of salvation, but my phone was a lifeline. It was my only way to talk to Fiona. To Matt.

Which was exactly why I couldn’t give it to him. I knew Jack wouldn’t just take my phone and tuck it away. He was going to look through it, which meant he would discover every single message between Matt and I.

It would all be over. Jack would undoubtedly punish me and I would never see Matt again. I feared what he’d do to me if learned the truth, but I was more afraid of what he’d do to Matt.

“No,” I practically whimpered.

“Give it to me, Celeste,” Jack said again, his voice growing louder. “And you can save your tears. You have no one to blame but yourself! If you would have just stayed home like I told you -“

“You didn’t tell me to stay home!” I yelled at him, tears running down my face. “You ordered me!”

My own voice was high and reedy as the words left me. I felt something inside of me snap - maybe it was even a crack in my heart. But I wasn’t willing to give up my phone without kicking and screaming.

“Just like you always order me around! I’m almost twenty years old now, Jack. You can’t keep treating me like a child. I’m an adult!”

Jack scoffed at my last words and I could tell he was fuming.

“An adult?” he questioned. “If you think you’re such an adult then you need to start acting like one.”

“And how am I supposed to do that?” I fired back, unable to stop myself. Anger had flooded into my veins, rising from my toes as it rushed to fill me. “Adults can make their own decisions. They have freedom. You constantly take both of those things from me!”

“For your own good!” Jack hollered back without skipping a beat. He took another step forward, expecting me to back down, but I didn’t.

“How?” I pressed back. “How is any of this good for me?”

There was no denying all the pain he’d put me through - that he still put me through. How could someone continuously and knowingly hurt you over and over and have the audacity to call it love?

As my question hit him, Jack’s jaw clenched and I saw that familiar look come over his eyes. The one that meant he was about to shut me out again.

I waited for him to dismiss me, to cut me down before he left me in the dark. But then Jack surprised me as he sighed.

“I’m protecting you,” he stated, his voice gruff. “This entire time all I’ve been trying to do is protect you.”

He stopped to shake his head, his temper rising once more.

“And all you do is take it for granted!” he was shouting again.

“Maybe I wouldn’t take it for granted if I understood,” I threw back. “What are you protecting me from, Jack? And why do you have to be so cruel about it?”

My words were a demand - harsh and unwavering. I had no idea where my confidence was coming from, but I didn’t stop to question it. I was too afraid I’d lose my nerve.

Jack scoffed at me again, his face left in a sneer. “You wouldn’t understand even if I told you, Celeste - which I’m not. Let it go. Now give me your phone.”

With that, my brother shoved his hand toward me again, trying to force me to be obedient once more. But putting my phone in his outstretched palm meant losing.

Losing Matt, losing what little I’d gained for myself. I’d already been robbed of so many things, I couldn’t let Jack take more.

Tightening my fists, I felt my nails puncture my palms again.

“I’ll move out.”

My voice sounded foreign in my ears as I spoke the words. At first I thought I’d only imagined saying them, but then I watched as Jack froze before me. He was completely still, silence overcoming us for nearly a minute before he finally turned.

“What?” he brushed out as his dark gaze met mine.

“If you keep trying to take my phone…if you don’t start being honest with me…then I’ll move out,” I stated, managing to keep my head high.

Only, that task was becoming difficult as I watched a hint of sadness meet my brother’s eyes. I nearly gasped at the sight of it.

Jack continued to stare at me, swallowing hard as his body began to deflate. I swore there was also a gloss coming over his eyes, but he tore his stare away from mine before I could confirm.

“Celeste…,” he finally said.

The way he said my name made my heart skip a beat. If I didn’t know better…Jack was actually…upset.

“Stay,” he said then, needing to clear away a crack in his face. “I’ll…I promise I’ll be less controlling as long as you do a better job of listening to me.”

Part of me wanted to argue, but I couldn’t find the same fire to push back against him. I just stood silently waiting for him to continue.

Again, Jack seemed to swallow, fighting his emotions that were trying to come to the surface.

“I promise,” he said then, making me jump as he unexpectedly took my hand. His head stayed bowed, his eyes aimed toward my feet. “If you stay…if you listen, then I’ll tell you everything when you turn twenty. I promise.”

My mouth fell open, shock running cold as it doused out whatever fire remained from my anger. I’d never seen him like this…never.

And he was going to tell me the truth. He was promising to actually tell me.

I felt a flicker of hope ignite in the pit of my stomach, making me instantly want to cradle the flame and keep it safe. However, I hesitated as I felt a breeze of confusion tickle through me.

“Why?” the word escaped through my lips quietly. “W-why can’t you tell me now?”

Jack’s eyes slowly raised to meet mine, my lungs aching as I tried to take in a smooth breath.

I needed to know.

“What is so special about my twentieth birthday?”