Chapter 99

Celeste

I was finally going back to school. After Fiona’s visit, I had felt much better and with her support I was able to actually get out of bed and do all the things that I had been putting off. Namely showering and eating a proper meal.

Fiona made sure that we stayed far away from Alyx. Instead of our usual seats, we sat in the back corners. We even went so far as to come in late so that all the good seats would be taken. We didn’t want to take any chances.

In the middle of one of my lectures, my phone went off. I quickly silenced it, not even bothering to look at the screen. I knew who it was. He had been calling incessantly ever since he’d dropped me off after the horrible date with Alyx.

I knew Matt was probably worried about me. But I honestly wasn’t in the best mental state to deal with that right now. What I wanted was to be left alone so I could sort out my feelings. Did I really still love Matt or was it just because he saved me again?

Fiona gave me a questioning look and I mouthed Matt’s name. Fiona scowled. She was not Matt’s fan at the moment. I wasn’t sure she’d ever forgive him for what he did at the ball. Once Fiona didn’t like someone, it was hard for them to get back in her good graces.

The rest of the class went smoothly. Unfortunately this is where Fiona and I had to part ways. Her next class was clear across campus while mine was just in the next building over. Fiona had to leave quickly if she was going to make it on time.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay? I can always stay with you,” Fiona asked for the millionth time, but I could see that she really wanted to go to her class. I chuckled and waved her off. Despite appearances, I could take care of myself.

“If you’re sure…but if anyone gives you any trouble, and I mean anyone, then you call me and I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Fiona told me before running off. I knew she meant it. I really didn’t deserve her a friend, but I was glad that I had her anyway.

I hung back, making sure that Alyx left the room before I did. I definitely didn’t want to run into him now that I was by myself. I wasn’t sure what I would say or do, but I knew it wouldn’t be good. I had never been the violent type but there was a first time for everything.

I made my way outside the classroom, head feeling like it was on a swivel as I kept a wary eye out. I was so focused on avoiding Alyx, I didn’t even see Matt coming toward me. Before I knew it, I was in a stairwell with Matt peering down at me.

My breath hitched. Where had he come from? And why were the men in her life always dragging her into stairwells?

Matt towered over me, his eyes locked onto mine, a mixture of hope and trepidation etched on his face. My heart hammered in her chest, torn between the desire to run and the yearning to hear what he had to say.

"Celeste," he breathed, his voice a blend of relief and sorrow. It tugged at my heart. He sounded horrible.

I averted my gaze, unable to meet his eyes. "Matt, please," I implored, my voice barely above a whisper. "I don’t want to talk right now."

"I understand. You don’t have to talk at all. But there's something I have to tell you. Something that I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time."

My breath caught in my throat. Why did this feel like he was going to confess or something? I could feel the gravity of his words before he even spoke them.

"Jack…" Matt began, his voice raw with emotion. He took a steadying breath before continuing. "He asked me to promise something when I first met him."

My eyes flickered to his, a mix of curiosity and apprehension. I hadn’t expected him to bring up Jack. Maybe this wasn’t what I thought it was. What I secretly hoped it was. I motioned for him to continue.

"He asked me to promise that I'd never touch you. He made all of us promise that we would stay far away from you" Matt confessed, his voice cracking. "I thought it would be easy, but then I got to know you. And I've tried, Celeste. I've tried to stay away, but I just can’t do it any longer. I love you."

Tears welled in my eyes, blurring my vision. I wanted to be angry, to demand why he hadn't told me sooner. But she should have known. She should have known that Jack would have done something like that. But the fact that Matt went along with it…

Matt reached out, his hand hovering, uncertain, seeking permission. I looked at him, my heart torn between wanting to accept his confession and still being hurt from his rejection. What would it mean if I took his hand now? What would we be?

Taking a deep breath, I shook my head and took a step back. His hand dropped awkwardly back to his side. Despite everything, I still felt guilty for hurting him. “I’m sorry, Matt. I need more time to think about all this.”

"I know it’s a lot to process and I can’t ever imagine you forgiving me right away," Matt murmured, his gaze never leaving hers. "But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to earn it. To show you that my love for you is real."

I nodded lamely at him. I didn’t dare open my mouth. I wasn’t sure what would come out of it next. I had been dreaming of Matt telling me he loved me ever since I met him and now that it was happening, I couldn’t bring myself to feel anything but confused about it.

“I’ll wait for you as long as it takes, Celeste. I just needed you to know,” Matt said and he lovingly brushed a strand of stray hair away from my face. Then he was gone. I collapsed to my knees, hiding my face in my hands.

I took in several deep breaths, trying not to hyperventilate. Three months ago, I would have given anything, even my soul, to hear those words from his lips. So why wasn’t I jumping at the chance to be with him now?

I didn’t know what to do. If I talked to Fiona about it, she would tell me to forget about him. I was going to have to figure this one out on my own. Although I kind of already knew how that was going to go.

Still, taking my time with my decision would be the grown-up thing to do. I couldn’t just keep jumping from guy to guy every time one of them confessed. Besides, Matt had already broken my heart once. I didn’t want him to break it again.