Chapter 143

Stella

I can't bring myself to follow Sebastian when he leaves my apartment. All I can do is sit and stare at the door, my heart shattering into a million different fragments. The apartment feels colder without him, a chill from his. I see anger remaining in his wake.

Should I have gone after him? Should I have chased him down the apartment hallway, my coughs and wheezes giving me away as I try to run after him? Would he even accept me after our argument with one another?

I tear my gaze away from the door, forcing myself to look at the glass of water he made for me on the coffee table. It was a simple gesture that I could barely break myself to think for, my mind perpetually foggy as I battle my emotions for Adrian.

I know that it is unfair to Sebastian to expect him to remain with me while I think about another man. My ex-husband, of all people. It must sting to know that my attention wasn't focused on him, but another person, somebody who has hurt me so deeply in the past.

Sebastian is a very jealous man, though. He always lets his emotions get the best of him when it comes to situations like these and never thinks twice about how anybody else feels or the circumstances that they find themselves living in. In this instance, it feels as if he simply cannot realize that my feelings for Adrian in the past were real, they were real and deep and consumed my entire being. I hung onto the Hope that Adrian would notice me one day…it just happened a little too late.

Sebastian and I always argue over small things like this. It honestly feels like Sebastian is wanting to control almost every aspect of my life, to take away any bodily autonomy that I have and mold my life to fit his ideals over what I wanna do. He wants me to be the perfect girlfriend for himself, as the future leader of the Obsidian mafia family.

I just do not know if I am the one who built for a role like that.

Perhaps my relationship with Sebastian has been one in vain. Maybe I used him as a way to see what other options there are in the world, options that are not Adrian. Sebastian treated me very well, but there has always been something missing from our relationship, a spark that made us want to only spend time with one another instead of constantly being away and only having the night to be with each other.

I feel horrible about this entire situation. I know that I have been less than ideal when it comes to making up my mind and choosing what it is that I want to do, always going back and forth on my feelings about the people in my life. If there is one thing that I have learned from this, it is that I deserve to live a life of happiness, one that I choose for myself instead of people choosing for me.

If there is another thing that I know for sure, it is the fact that I am sure that I am in love with Adrian and wish to spend the rest of my life with him. I have to go and save him from the mistake that he's making by marrying Clara. His hero complex has always gotten in the way of reason, especially when it comes to him.

I slowly push myself off of the couch, forcing myself up to my feet. A wave of nausea and tiredness hits my body. I sway my spot, hands holding my head and stomach, as I slowly step towards my bedroom.

I just need to make it fifteen steps. Fifteen steps before I am able to lay in my bed and give myself another break before I can change into new clothes to go out and find Adrian.

My body stumbles to the side. I catch myself on the doorway to my bedroom. My vision is filled with black spots, though, a telltale sign that something bad is about to happen to me.

I succumb to the ground, unable to will my arms to pull me into my bedroom. I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling, the black spots taking more and more of my vision. I can feel my phone in my pocket, but I am unsure if I can bring myself to grab it.

My stomach twists and turns, leaving me, no respite from the constant state of sickness that I feel. My vision, blurs, tears stinging my eyes, and I force my hand into my pocket, slipping my phone free from the confines.

I look over at the screen and slowly type in my password, trying to keep myself awake for as long as possible. I move to my contacts and find Adrian. A flood of relief crashes throughout my body, a sense of hope finally right in front of me. I know that Adrian will pick up no matter what, it doesn't matter if he is engaged to Clara or not.

I press his name and allow my body to relax into the flooring of my apartment. I close my eyes and listen to the dial tone, the sound echoing in my ears. The longer it goes on, the more more worried I get, hoping that he picks up soon or else I will be stuck here.

If he doesn't pick up… I might just die here.

The dial tone comes to an end, and my body is shocked back to life. I gasp and turn to look at the phone, staring at Adrian's name plastered across the screen. I choke up, unable to contain the joy that I feel resonate deep within my bones.

“Adrian,” I choke his name out in a wheeze. My breathing has become labored, ragged, and heavy, unable to catch my breath. My lungs feel like they're on fire. “Please, I need help.”

Adrian doesn't respond. I begin to cry, unable to contain my overwhelming emotions. My body is undergoing a significant amount of pain, my nerve endings feel like they are being stabbed with a plethora of needles and my skin feels both cold and hot at the same time.

I need to be saved and I need to be saved quick.

“Stella,” a woman's voice sounds to the phone. My blood runs cold and my breath hitches in the back of my throat. Clara. “I'm going to need you to stop calling my fiancé.”

“No, Clara, please,” I cry out. My body aches, muscles contracting on themselves before relaxing. “I feel like I'm going to die.”

“Then just die already,” Clara’s words are like venom. They add to the pit that forms in my stomach, making my heart feel more hollow than ever. “Just admit that you have finally lost. Adrian is mine and he will always be mine, he will never be yours, okay? Grow up and get over it.”

The call drops and I feel an immense amount of dread wash over my body. I close my eyes and let out a loud sob, allowing my body to slip into the darkness, I hopeless, feeling stuck deep inside my chest as I lose consciousness.