Chapter 147

Stella

the first thing that I can hear is the faint beeps of a hospital machine. There is a hospital like ambience, just beyond my consciousness, rooted in reality, it is in a place where I am not. I can listen to the sound of nurses and doctors talking, but I fall back into a state of unconsciousness before I can pick up on what they were saying.

The next time I can hear, it is more quiet. The hospital machine beeps to the side of me as I open my eyes, taking in the darkened hospital room from around me. Just outside the door, I can listen in on a doctor conversation about a patient that sits just down the hall, that they are still unresponsive after the car accident that they were in.

Questions flood my mind in an instance. I have no clue as to why I am in a hospital, as to why I am alive for that matter. The last thing that I remember, is Clara's voice on the other end of the phone call after I tried to call Adrian.

After that? Everything went black.

Now, I am somehow in a hospital in the death of night. My mind is filled with a plethora of questions, everything unanswered about how I got here and what happened to me. There is a warmth on my hand, though, something that is keeping me rooted in a sense of calm rather than panicking and overreacting to the situation at hand.

I open my eyes, my vision still slightly blurry, but more in focus and it has been before. Just to the side of me, I bought a blonde head of hair. It is familiar and it makes my heart. Skip a beat.

Adrian. Is he really here?

I look to another part in the room, trying to figure out if this is just my imagination playing tricks on me or if this is real life. With my free hand, I pinch my leg, feeling the stinging sensation shoot throughout my muscles. I went and Adrian stirs from beside me but doesn't wake up, mumbling something to himself about me keeping still.

A gentle sigh falls from my lips. I can feel my eyes filled with tears, grateful that it is him who is here with me and not anybody else. I weakly reach out and place my hand on top of his head, gently smoothing out the unruly curls and frizz of his hair.

Adrian’s body tenses for a brief moment, his hand squeezing mind. Slowly, he raises his head and a yawn escapes his lips, his green eyes blinking at me as he registers that I am awake beside him. His eyes suddenly shoot open, his body jolted, awake, and I can't help but smile at the sight.

“Stella?” Adrian’s voice is just above the volume of a whisper, “are you really awake?

I nod, the smile on my face growing before it falls, pain taking over my body. My stomach feels like it's on fire, that something is really wrong. I close my eyes and went from the pain, feeling Adrian's hand begins to slip free from mine.

I quickly grab onto it, though, and bring him back to me. I open my eyes, tears beginning to roll down my cheeks out a slow pace. Adrian's face contorts with sadness, the man slowly sitting back down in the chair beside my bed. I shake my head, hoping that he will not leave me, not when I need him the most.

“What’s wrong? Are you in pain? I'm gonna go get a doctor, okay?” Adrian gushes. He moves to stand again, but I pull him back to me, keeping him attached to the bedside. “Tell me what's wrong and I promise you, Stella, that I will fix it.”

“I…” I shake my head, unable to form a coherent sentence. My eyes dart away for a brief moment before coming back to him, his green eyes fixed onto mine. “what happened? How did I get here?”

Adrian lets out a long and exasperated side. He seems to do the chair beside me and takes both of my hands into his. He stares at them with a fond look on his face, yet there is a hidden sadness behind his expression.

Oh, how I hate that I worried him. I knew I never should've called him in the first place.

“Stella,” he breathes my name out, as if it was the last time he was ever going to say it, “you called me, but Clara answered. I found out after I ended our engagements. I rushed to your apartment as soon as I could, and you were unconscious on the ground.”

“Unconscious?” I repeat his word, confused. He nods. “What happened to me? Did my…sickness get worse?”

“You don't need to worry about that right now, let me worry about it for you,” he gently squeezes my hands and brings them into his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to it, “just focus on resting, okay? I'll handle the rest.”

The sudden urge to cry overtakes my body. I don't fight it, too tired to hold back the emotions that I feel. The tears fall for my face, hot on my cold skin. Adrian immediately jumps into action, standing over me as he wipes my tears away from my face.

“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” Adrian asks.

I shake my head, closing my eyes, so I don't have to look at his handsome face. A wave of happiness and remorse crashes throughout my body. I choke back a sob and open my eyes to look at him once again, feeling my body sink further into the mattress.

“I don't deserve you,” I speak through my cries, “I don't know what I did to have somebody as nice as you be in my life. I treated you so horribly and pushed you away and yet you're still so kind and are helping me.”

“Stella,” Adrian’s face softens. He leans down and cups my cheek. I tilt my face into the warmth of his hand, my tears staining his skin. “I love you. I would do anything for you. I want you to know that.”

“You love me?” I breathe the question out, unable to believe what it is that I am hearing in this moment.

“I do,” Adrian nods his head. He leans down and presses a gentle kiss to my forehead. “I love you more than you realize.”

“I love you too, Adrian,” I can feel the weight of my guilt from pushing him away slip free from my body.

No longer do I have to pretend that I do not hold any feelings for the man in front of me. I do not have to pretend that I don't care about my ex-husband, that the spark between us has withered away after our divorce.

I know that our relationship, our marriage, was founded on a contract, one that abused my body, but something real has blossom from this. Something real and serious and beautiful after all of the pain and suffering that the two of us have gone through.

From this point on, I will wholeheartedly dedicate myself to Adrian and the love that we share.