Chapter 96

Adrian

The windows of my car are all rolled down and the wind slips inside, mixing in with the music from the radio. The streets are mainly empty, except for a few cars here and there, and I take my time going down the roads of the city.

The lights from the skyscrapers and streetlights fill my vision. When I go underneath a tunnel, they disappear and are replaced with orange lights, the sound of my revving engine echoing down the cement chamber before my car speeds out on the other end.

My hair picks up with the wind, moving around my head, as I keep my focus on the road ahead. my knuckles are white as they tightly grip the steering wheel. The screaming wind is like white noise in my ears and helps down out my messy and insecure thoughts.

It helps me silence the yelling inside my head, the tiny voice that berates me for being so rude and mean to Clara, the woman who I used to love. But now she just means nothing to me. She is another person passing by in my life, a stop that is just temporary instead of being a permanent landmark.

Her words stuck with me. The way she was so desperate to cling to any piece of the old Adrian that she once saw as a meal ticket instead of a loving husband. I can’t get her weeping face out of my mind and her touch is still hot on my legs as if she is still there.

How has my life come to this? What did I do to deserve a fate that will haunt me for the rest of my days?

I know exactly what I have done. I am just in denial about the choices that I have made in the past. I am angry at myself for having been so cruel to the woman who I love, the one that was in front of my face the entire time but I was too blind to see her.

My foot presses deeper into the gas pedal. The car lunges forward as it swerves through the tall skyscrapers, which begin to fade the closer I get to the edge of the heart of the city. The streets turn into exits for freeways, to take me to faraway places away from the city.

Maybe I should take one of the exits and continue to drive until my car runs out of gas. Where would the road even take me? Where in the world would I even end up at as I continue to drive straight and away from all of my problems that trouble me inside of the city?

My car engine revs as the light goes from red to green. I speed through the intersection and turn down the road, noticing one of the freeway entrances.

I hesitate. The car loses some speed but it is just me on the road, nobody else. I roll towards the entrance, keeping my distance as the light turns red, stopping me in my tracks.

Should I go? Maybe there is more for me out of the life that I built here. Maybe this is my sign for me to take that chance and leave.

But what about Stella? Will she even realize that I am gone? What if she decides she wants to reconnect as friends one day and I am not there?

My once angry heart comes to a slow. It aches for a woman who does not love me, who does not even want me in her life anymore.

The light turns green but my car stays still.

My eyes flicker to the rearview mirror of the car. I look at the tall skyscrapers that lie behind me and remember all of the harm that I have caused, all of the trouble that I have made for other people.

I slam on the gas pedal and yank my steering wheel to the side. Smoke forms from the back tires as I spin the vehicle around. The smoke floats into my windows just as the car hurdles back towards the city. My hands grip the leather steering wheel as I slice through the air, moving towards the downtown area.

My hands steer the car on where I want to go. The car weaves through the streets and I take a left hand turn towards the eastern part of the district, a familiar apartment building coming into view.

My mind goes blank. I simply do not think about what it is that I am doing, who I am going towards, all I do is drive. Drive as fast as I can towards the one place that I know will bring me the peace that I need.

The car slows down as soon as I turn the corner. I shift to lower gears and look out the window, scanning the area for a sign — any sign — that this is fate, that I am supposed to be here.

Stella’s apartment complex comes into my line of sight. A hoard of men stand in front of the building, surrounding something as they throw flowers and gifts towards the center.

My gut tells me to pull over, so I do, and I get out of the car. I slowly approach the group and try to see what the commotion is about.

That’s when I see her. She stands in the middle of the group and looks scared, tense with the amount of men who surround her. My instincts kick in and I step towards the group, beginning to push through.

“Hey!” I yell over the chaos, “Leave her alone! Can’t you see that she doesn’t want any of you here?!”

My eyes land on Stella. Shock flashes across her face and she does not move as push through the group.

“Wait your turn, man!” one of the men yell at me. They grab my shoulder and try to drag me back but I slip away, turning to look at them.

“She’s mine!” I yell at them. I find myself at Stella’s side and take her hand in mine. I hold up my left hand and show off the golden ring that sits on my ring finger. “I am her husband! Go away!”

The men instantly die down. They murmur amongst themselves and look confused. They stare at Stella and I, shaking their heads. I push Stella behind me to shield her and I can feel her grip on my hand loosen.

The group begins to disperse. Flowers and boxes of chocolates remain on the ground, leftover pieces of their so called love for her. I think it is more of harassment than anything else.

Once they are all gone, I turn and look down at Stella. I cup her cheek and she tenses up. Stella takes a step away from me and the warmth of her cheek lingers on my fingertips.

“Are you okay?” I ask. I want to move forward but hold myself back.

“I’m fine,” her response is short and curt. She diverts her gaze for a brief moment before looking back at me. “Thank you for the rescue.”

I open my mouth to speak but Stella already turns around and rushes inside of the apartment complex, leaving me behind. Jealousy envelops me from the attention she got. I turn around and look at the remnants of the men’s gifts on the ground, frowning.

Stella’s ice cold demeanor towards me has left me feeling so lost. Does she truly not hold any positive feelings towards me?