Chapter 98

Adrian

Stella has been on my mind ever since I rescued her from the hoard of men last week. She looks so small compared to the rest of them, a scared yet agitated look sprawled across her face. The men were so aggressive with her, forcing their gifts and flowers into her face…

How did they even know she was there? When did Stella suddenly become so popular? I didn’t realize how many suitors and bachelors were wanting to get with her!

I can’t help but feel jealous because of it. It is just a constant reminder of something that I once had, something that I let slip through my fingers so carelessly. It is agitating to think about but there is not a single person to blame other than myself.

I miss hearing her laughter in the hallways whenever I came home early from work. Her cooking has also left me feeling so desperately hungry whenever I ear at hime because I know that nothing will ever compare to what it is that she made. Even mornings without her presence by the coffee machine has me feeling grumpy before I go in to work.

There has to be a way for me to earn her trust back, right? If she had that many men fawning over her, one of them is sure to get her attention and give her the opportunity to move on from me…that is, if she has not moved on already.

I aimlessly walk around my home and stare at the bare walls. There are scattered holes from where nails were slammed into the wall, spaces where paintings and portraits hung are now empty.

I should put a few up, you know, to fill in the space. To make the house feel more like a home than an empty house. Yeah…yeah I think I will hang up photos that I have leftover, even if I have no frames and only tape to keep the printed pictures up.

As I gather my belongings to complete the task I just put upon myself, my phone rings. I do not pay attention to it, continuing to gather a scrapbook of pictures and tape before it rings all over again.

I walk over to it and stare at the screen. Clara’s name pops up with no pictures behind it. I can’t even stand to look at her face anymore.

She is probably just calling to see if I have made up my mind about her yet. She has never been one to be patient and has always demanded that things go her way before she blows up on someone. Why would I even want to be with someone like that?

I set the booked filled with pictures onto the couch beside my cell phone. Frames…that is what I need to find next. Just as I am about to step away, Clara calls again. I continue to ignore it and walk away, locating some leftover black frames that sit in an abandoned office, one that hasn’t been touched since Stella moved out of the house.

A sigh falls from my lips. I slowly walk back over to the couch and sit down, my eyes focusing on the fireplace that sits in front of me.

Almost a year ago, Stella came back home after leaving me. I thought that she was going to return into my arms, that her own temper tantrum was over. But no; she decided to burn the last remaining piece of her love towards me right in front of my eyes, a journal filled with notes about me.

I should have done the same thing with her. I should have taken notes of her favorite foods and what she likes to drink alongside her dinner. If she knew everything about me, then the bare minimum should have been me knowing everything about her.

It is what a marriage between a husband and wife should look like, right?

What made her smile when we were together? I think back to our shared time at the beach resort, remembering the way her face lit up whenever my mother was around or when we went out for food and she got her favorite dessert, chocolate cake.

I grab a nearby note pad and begin to write down all of the things that I remember. I write down her favorite flowers, favorite kinds of desserts, the brands of clothes that she wears, and the music that she listens to.

My phone vibrates on the couch beside me. I groan and snatch it, ready to give Clara piece of my mind when a text pops up. My heart plummets inside of my chest at the sight of it.

It is a picture of Stella and that wealthy finance man, Sebastian, holding hands as they walk down the street. Her purse hands from his shoulder and they carry cups of coffee in their hands, smiling at one another.

They look so…so happy. Stella is glowing. I swear, I have never seen her smile bigger than she has in this picture. Not even on our wedding day did she smile as big as she is now.

I lean back into the couch, my eyes fixated on the screen. Maybe they are just friends and she needed some help waking down the road. No, Adrian, don’t be stupid, of course they are romantically involved.

Clara: I know you’re holding out hope for her. I hope this shows you that she doesn’t care.

Clara’s text cuts right through me but I know she is right. I know that Stella does not wish to have me in her life anymore after all of the horrible things that I have done to her.

I want to be back in her life, though. I want to be able to hear her laugh and to look into her beautiful hazel eyes. I want to be the one she can lean on and hold hands with after getting a coffee from her favorite cafe.

Sebastian is wealthy, definitely wealthier than I ever will be now that I am broke, and I am sure that Sebastian shows his love through grand gestures so I should too!

I look at the list of Stella’s likes beside me. All of her favorite things collected on one piece of paper. I should do something that shows her that I do still care about her.

Even though we are divorced, she can still be in my life, no? An ex-husband should be allowed to show his ex-wife that she can still rely on him whenever she needs it.

I grab my phone and the notepad and make my way towards my office, abandoning the short lived task of making this place feel like a home. I step inside and close the door behind me, grabbing my wallet and the fresh new credit cards that sit inside.

I sit down in my chair and turn on my laptop, beginning to scroll through multiple shops. Most of them are expensive, yes, and well beyond the budget that I have set for myself, but for Stella? It would have all been worth it to know that my gesture put a smile on her face.