Chapter 15

I checked my social media accounts more often that day than I ever did. I wished I hadn’t.

Everything, even my workout vlogs, were swarmed by Julia’s fans. They had nothing but abuse and death threats for me.

Who does this b*tch think she is, getting in the middle of a happy couple like that?

Just because she couldn’t keep her marriage together, she had to ruin someone else’s?

Barnett’ll dump her in a week.

A week? I give them a day!

How did a fat cow like her manage to catch a 10 like Billionaire Barnett anyway?

The comments went on and on. Some went so low as to suggest that I was only in the relationship for Barnett’s money; others went even lower and said that if Barnett were to pay someone to be with him, she’d be a lot hotter than me.

Ouch.

By the time I got off work, people had made compilations of my workouts with Julia’s runway videos. Titles included “Beauty vs. Beast”, “Fab vs. Fat”, and the ever-so-creative “How to Know You’re a Damn Fat Pig”. I was glad for the walk home to cool off after seeing some of those.

No amount of cool-off time could help when I saw that Bob had reposted some of the videos. One of them included the caption, “Glad I got rid of THAT when I did. #Blessed.”

I couldn’t make it through the door of my apartment quickly enough after getting that notification. I collapsed as soon as I closed the door behind me and curled into a ball, crying as hard as I could.

I cried for a solid five minutes when I got another notification on my phone. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw it was a text message from Lily.

Hey, saw the posts. U OK?

I didn’t know what to say.

Do you believe them?

The reply was instant.

No! I know u and Uncle Barnett. That’s not like either of u.

I closed my eyes and pressed the phone against my chest. It felt good to have someone believe me.

So, u OK?

I smiled and replied, As I can be.

So, no.

The bubbles appeared as Lily typed out another response.

U going to delete the videos?

I set the phone in my lap. Was I going to delete the videos? I didn’t want to.

Tears sprung to my eyes again. I had worked so hard on those videos. Sure, there had always been haters, but there had also been so many people encouraging me as well.

I didn’t want to give that up.

I was making real progress, and the only way I could continue working out at Stand Up was if I continued with these videos. I couldn’t let these jackasses take that away from me.

No, I typed so firmly that I thought I could crack the screen, I will not.

• * *

After I finished talking to Lily, I immediately went down to the gym and to the treadmills, where I filmed my first vlog. I set up my phone and pressed the record button before my nerves could get the better of me.

“Hello, everyone,” I began. “I’m sure that you’ve all been seeing the trending posts and videos about me.”

I took a deep breath.

“I want to start by saying that I did not break up anyone’s marriage. I am not at liberty to say what is going on in Barnett and Julia’s relationship. That is their business, not my own, but I did not break up their marriage.”

Please, Barnett, be okay with me saying that, I begged in my head.

“But that is not why I wanted to make this video. My personal life is my personal life, and my workout vlogs are my workout vlogs.”

I could feel tears starting to gather at the edges of my eyes, but I did my best to ignore them.

“No, what I want to address is the fact that people keep using my workout videos to draw attention to the fact that I’m overweight.”

I paused, both to gather myself for the next part and for dramatic effect.

“Yes, I am still overweight. Yes, that means that working out is still a bit awkward for me. But that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t exercise.

“Everyone has the right pursue beauty and health. Their size shouldn’t matter. The only people who should be ashamed are the people who are shaming others for trying to better themselves.”

I smiled to myself.

“And I’m not going to stop pursuing that best version of myself. In fact, you can bet that I will continue to commit myself to this regiment and will become even hotter and sexier than I already am. If anyone doesn’t like it, they can kiss my big sexy ass.”

For emphasis, I slapped my own butt cheek.

Honestly, I didn’t know where the end of that speech came from. I had never felt that powerful or confident before, and I wasn’t even sure if I really felt it now, but it seemed like the right thing to do in the moment.

“Now, it’s a cardio day. Let’s get started!”

• * *

By the time I had completed my cool-down stretches, Lily and Arthur had already shared the video. They weren’t the only ones. Thousands had liked, shared, and commented on it—three times as many as when Barnett had appeared.

Like with the first video I had ever posted, my eyes were instantly drawn to the negative comments like a magnet.

She’s nothing but a homewrecker!

A fat ugly bitch like her could never get into shape. Who’s she kidding?

Run back to Ben & Jerry!

“Kiss my ass”? I wouldn’t do that when we were married!

I rolled my eyes at Bob’s comment, but it still stung. I forced myself to look for the positive remarks, just to keep myself from going down a dark road.

Don’t listen to them, Anna. You’re doing wonderfully! Haters gonna hate.

Lookin’ good, sister!

You’re such an inspiration! I love how you let things roll off your shoulders.

Fat IS sexy! Don’t let them get you down. You do you.

Your husband was an idiot for dumping you. You’ll be rockin’ a hot new bod in no time.

The last comment made me grin like an idiot. I really would be rocking a hot new bod in no time. I just needed to put in the work.

Before leaving the gym, I decided to make one last video.

I held the phone out at arm’s length and pressed record, praying for my arm to not tremble.

“Hey, everybody!” I said in the most cheerful voice I could manage. “Thank you for all the love and support.”

I pursed my lips.

“I just wanted to let you know that, thanks to you, I am sticking to this, 100%. I want to represent all the fat girls out there who are being ridiculed, whether it’s for trying to get healthier or just for existing. No one can tear us down!”

With that, I ended the recording and posted the vlog with the caption #Confidence #FatGirlsForever.

• * *

I got ready for bed with over 100,000 fans under my belt. That day’s videos were the most popular ever. The one with Barnett had been getting more traction thanks to the unwanted trends, but even it didn’t get close to what I had accomplished on my own.

I was on Cloud Nine as I settled into bed and turned on the TV. I turned it to a documentary on the origins of hockey when my phone rang. My eyes widened at the caller ID.

Barnett.