Chapter 24

“I can’t believe he touched you,” Lily said when I told her about the incident with John.

We were having another ladies’ night. I was trying out a new gluten-free recipe, this time cookies with dark chocolate chips. Lily devoured them almost as quickly as the brownies.

“I still can’t believe he tried it at work,” I admitted as I set another plate of cookies and a bowl of popcorn on the dining room table. “I’m no stranger to pigs, but that was just…above and beyond.”

“It just shows you that there are no limits to how disgusting some people can be.”

Lily stared at the cookies longingly before forcing herself to grab a handful of popcorn. She’d had three cookies already, so I was glad I didn’t have to cut her off just yet.

“At least Arthur fired him,” I said. “He’s turning out to be a great boss.”

Lily grinned. “So, you’d say that you owe me one?”

I arched a brow at her. “I don’t like it when you say that.”

She stuck her tongue out at me but didn’t say anything.

After a minute of silence, she said, “Well, how does it feel to be single?”

I chewed slowly at a cookie, then swallowed.

“Freeing. I’m doing things that I haven’t been able to do in a long time because I was taking care of Bob and his family, and I get to try out a lot of things that I didn’t know I would like. It’s fun.”

“I bet you don’t miss Peter’s daily harassment.”

I shuddered at the thought of my ex-brother-in-law’s constant attempts to touch my ass. It made the incident with John seem almost normal, and that thought made me want to shrink into myself.

“Never again,” I said firmly as I popped a piece of popcorn into my mouth.

Lily picked up her bottle of flavored water and traced the lid with her finger.

“But surely there are some things that you miss about having a partner,” she said. “Sex, for instance…”

I blushed thinking about the dream I had about Barnett. Then I thought about the rowing machine and our swimming race, and I could’ve sworn that you could boil water on my cheeks.

“I knew it!” Lily laughed triumphantly before taking a drink.

“Well, yeah, I am human. I do have needs. So what?”

“So, why not do something about it?”

Lily wiggled her brows in a way that had me cracking up.

“What, go in disguise to an ‘adult store’ and pick myself out a little buddy?”

Lily nearly spit out her water laughing.

“God, no. I don’t think you’re there, yet.”

She shook her head, her shoulders shaking in silent laughter. Finally, she pulled herself together and continued more seriously.

“No, I mean, maybe you should try a dating app.”

“A dating app? Why would I do that?”

Lily bit her lower lip. She took out her phone and pulled up a photo. It was of Bob and a hot younger woman, laughing and sharing a drink at a bar we used to frequent on our long-forgotten date nights.

“Where’d you get this?” I asked, trying to disguise the venom in my voice.

I didn’t really care that Bob was dating someone new. In fact, I was glad that this meant that I probably wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. Still, it did sting a bit to see him making new, happy memories somewhere where we used to make memories.

“One of his social media accounts,” Lily said. God, was that pity in her voice? “They’ve been dating for about two weeks now.”

I stared at the photo and gave myself a moment to digest.

“I don’t care,” I said. “I mean, I’m glad that he’s moving on. I am, too.”

“Then why don’t you fully move on?”

Lily swiped my phone from off the table and flicked her way across the screen. When she handed it back to me, a new app—Soul M8s—glowed back at me.

“Soul Mates—with an ‘8’?” I said skeptically.

“Yeah, it’s this hot new dating app that hooks users up with people within 10 kilometers of them.”

“If it’s within 10 kilometers, why the ‘8’?”

“I don’t know. That’s not the point!”

I smirked at Lily’s frustration.

“Users don’t use their real names or pictures, just pre-generated avatars, so it’s completely anonymous—”

“I don’t know,” I said, “that sounds like a huge red flag to me. How do you know if you’re talking to a real person?”

“The social networking software takes care of the vetting. You don’t need to worry about anything.”

I chewed on my lower lip.

“I don’t know…”

“What’s with the hesitation? Don’t you at least want to give it a try? Show Bob that you’re happy, too?”

I didn’t want to tell Lily the true reason behind my hesitation. I didn’t have that much time left. What was the point in meeting someone new when stomach cancer was not-so-slowly killing me?

“But I don’t care about Bob. Besides, I’m happy on my own.”

I felt horrible for not including Lily in on the whole truth, but I just wasn’t ready to have that conversation yet. Maybe ever.

“Yes, I get that, and I’m glad that you’re so happy already, but—” she grabbed my hand— “does that mean that you shouldn’t also have some fun, too? You only live once.”

I looked down at my phone and considered Lily’s words. I did only have one life to live, and it was just getting shorter. Why shouldn’t I have some fun?

“All right. I’ll do it.”

• * *

After an extensive questionnaire by the app, including a process to verify my identity, I was signed up for Soul M8s. I thought it would take a while to get matched up with someone, at least ten minutes, but it only took a few seconds for me to receive a notification saying that I had been matched to HockeyDude12. To say the least, I was skeptical about the speed.

When I opened his profile, I was surprised by the quality of the match. Both of us were Cancers (the sign, not the disease), we both liked hockey, we were both fitness fanatics, and we were both into older rock bands like Fleetwood Mac. We were perfect for each other, almost to the last detail.

“He seems almost too perfect,” I said to Lily as we cleaned up the dishes for ladies’ night. “He must be a bot that the software made up based on my profile—”

“Would you knock it off and message him already?” Lily slammed her plate down and shoved my phone in my face. “Not everything is a conspiracy.”

I sighed and took my phone from her.

“I don’t know. What should I even say?”

“Just tell him hi and that you want to chat or something simple like that. Don’t overthink it.”

“You know that’s exactly what I’m going to do, especially now that you’ve told me not to.”

Lily chuckled and rolled her eyes.

“Like I said, just say hi and see what happens. Don’t worry too much.”

It was my turn to roll my eyes.

“That’s easy for you to say. You’re not about to talk to some stranger on an app people use to hook up.”

Lily shook her head.

“Just be yourself and you’ll be fine. I’m going to go crash in your bed, okay?”

“Okay, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

As Lily went to bed, I sat at the dinner table and continued to stare at HockeyDude12’s profile. Then I stared at the messenger bubble. Finally, I pressed the icon and began to type.

Hey there, HockeyDude! How you doing?

It only took a minute to receive a reply: Better now, FitnessBabe.