Chapter 26

I hadn’t been so mortified in years. Not since Barnett had started waking up while I was kissing him in high school. I thought about all the messages I had sent to HockeyDude12—all the personal confessions, the NSFW jokes, the suggestive emojis.

Oh God, I thought, did I really tell him that I wanted to have an “unforgettable night” with him? With three winky faces?

Inwardly, I was screaming. Outwardly, I was frozen to the spot, my seatbelt still in my hand. I wasn’t sure how long I had been sitting like that.

What was I supposed to do? Go in there and hope that Barnett didn’t laugh me into the next century? No, no, I couldn’t risk that level of humiliation in front of him.

Then I thought I saw Barnett look my way, and there was no question left as to what I was going to do.

I fumbled with my seatbelt and backed the car out of its space as quickly as possible. Praying that Barnett didn’t get a good look at me, I ripped out of the parking lot and back toward my apartment.

• * *

After I got home, I kicked off my shoes and fell onto the couch in a combination of despair and rage. Not rage at Barnett, but rage at myself. How could I have let myself talk about such personal things when I didn’t know who I was talking to?

Of course, it had to be Barnett. The one man I could not escape. The one man I could not have.

In hindsight, I was lucky that it was just Barnett. My initial instincts about Soul M8s were right. I had no way of knowing who I was talking to before meeting him in real life, and I could have just as easily ended up with a rapist or a serial killer.

My hand shaking, I took my phone out of my purse. Before I could change my mind, I found the Soul M8s app and deleted it and all its messages.

There. I couldn’t undo the damage, but at least I wouldn’t be able to get myself into even further horse dung.

My phone dinged, and I worried that maybe Barnett had gotten my number from Lily. My stomach felt like it was being ripped to shreds. When I looked, it was a text from Lily herself.

Text me 911 if you need to get out of there. If not, call me in the morning with full details.

I cringed at the sight of the winky face. God, I really used three winky faces with Barnett Cogsworth.

I sent a quick reply.

No date. Back home. Thanks anyway.

I wasn’t even able to stand up to go change my clothes before Lily responded.

WHAT? What happened?

I couldn’t tell her the truth. She would just badger me to go back to the bar before Barnett could leave. She still had that delusion that Barnett had feelings for me.

I don’t want to talk about it.

Why? Did he try something that quickly?

No. He just wasn’t who I expected.

I hoped that would be a sufficient explanation for her, at least for now.

• * *

I woke up the next morning to knocking on my door. Lily and I had arranged to go shopping to help me forget about HockeyDude12, but I could have sworn that we had agreed to go in the evening. What was she doing there at 10 in the morning?

I threw on my bathrobe and shuffled to the door. When I looked through the peephole, my heart froze.

Barnett, again. Shit. I just couldn’t shake him.

I contemplated pretending to not be home, but then I remembered that he would recognize his own gold Aston Martin in the parking lot and know that I was. I had no choice; I had to answer. I tightened my robe around me, trying to cover up everything I could, and reached for the doorknob.

“Hello?” I said almost timidly as I opened the door.

Barnett lowered his sunglasses, and his eyes roved over my barely dressed body. My cheeks heated, but I decided to ignore his gaze. At least, I tried to.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. Late night?”

Was he testing me? Seeing why I hadn’t gone into that bar last night? He had put his sunglasses back on, so I couldn’t even read his eyes for any sign of the truth.

“Not really. Just spent the night text with Lily.”

“Mm-hmm.”

Did that mean that he believed me, or was he just brushing me off? The gremlins clawed viciously at my stomach. I wanted to puke, but I didn’t want to give away my anxiety to Barnett, or my condition.

“So, how’s the divorce settlement going?” Barnett asked.

“The divorce settlement?” I shook my head and forced myself to focus on the question. “Oh yeah, the divorce settlement. It’s over, actually.”

“Really? That was fast.”

“Well, Thompson is apparently the best.”

“Told you.” I had to suppress a snort at his self-satisfied smugness. “What did he get you?”

“Everything that I asked for. Also, Bob’s going to have to sell the house and give me half the proceeds from the sale. Not to mention sixty million dollars.”

Barnett’s eyebrows raised above the lenses of his sunglasses.

“Sixty million dollars? That’s nothing to sneeze at.”

“I know.”

“What are you going to do with all that?”

Suddenly, I felt embarrassed, and I wasn’t sure why.

“I’m going to…well, I’m going to donate two-thirds to an orphanage.”

Why was he asking me these questions if I had told HockeyDude12 all of this? And why had he not brought up the bar yet?

“I think that is a very noble thing to do. It’s also tax-deductible, you know.”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t need it to be. I’ll just be glad to help out people who are less fortunate than I am.”

Barnett smiled. I would have described it as tender, but there was no way that he would smile in such a way at me.

“I know you are.”

His voice sounded tender, too, endearing. The gremlins in my stomach briefly gave way to butterflies.

“You know, since you were the one who got me into contact with Thompson, I feel like you were responsible for getting me that money,” I said. “I should probably thank you sometime, maybe by taking you out to dinner. That is, if you don’t mind me wasting your time.”

Barnett snorted, and my heart sank.

“You wouldn’t be wasting my time. Ever.”

My heart rose again, almost into my throat. I had to clear it to speak again.

“So, would you like to go to dinner sometime? As a thank you for helping me with this whole divorce settlement.”

“Of course.” Barnett pulled out his phone and looked through his schedule. “Are you free tonight?”

I thought about Lily and our plans to go shopping. Surely, Lily wouldn’t mind if we had to reschedule, especially if I told her why. Of course, I would owe her a long phone call with all the details in the morning, even though nothing would probably come of this.

“Sounds like a date.”