Chapter 65

The rest of the week went by, and I didn’t see Barnett once. I even went to Stand Up a few times, but he wasn’t there and the man at the desk said he hadn’t been around in a while. I hadn’t heard from Lily either and I couldn’t help but worry. What if she somehow dug up the truth, even with doctor-patient confidentiality? I knew she’d tell Barnett what she found, if he even still cared to know, and I didn’t want that.

I knew they’d be mad at me for not telling them, but even if they couldn’t see it, I had a good reason. I didn’t want them to worry about me, and I didn’t want my last weeks and days to be concerned about my cancer. Time was already running out for me, and I wanted–no, needed–to make the most of every second I had left.

The day of my appointment arrived, and I woke up nauseous from the nerves. The feeling followed me as I dressed and got everything together for my clients. I took my Corolla for the added privacy and drove to the doctor’s office.

I was a little early, but Celeste took me into the room right away. She instructed me to sit on the exam table before she left me alone. I sat on one of the chairs instead. The minutes seemed to stretch on and on as I waited for Dr. Williams.

Instead, a nurse arrived a few minutes later to run some tests. She did the standard tests–my weight and my blood pressure–before she took a few vials of my blood. I didn’t love needles, but I sat quietly as she extracted the blood.

“Dr. Williams will be in shortly,” she said before she left, giving me a kind smile. “He’s going to do an ultrasound to see how your stomach’s doing.”

“Okay,” I said, my voice sounding weak.

She gave me that comforting smile again, one I’m sure all nurses were good at giving before she left me alone. I wrung my hands and perched on the edge of the exam table. The gremlins clawed at my stomach, and I doubled over slightly as the wave of pain hit me. Luckily, I didn’t throw up and the pain gradually subsided. I guess it was something I’d have to get used to.

Dr. Williams walked in about five minutes later. He gestured for me to lie down on the table and pull up my shirt. He pulled the ultrasound equipment closer, then spread the gel on my newly flat stomach. The gel was cold, and I jolted as it went on.

“Sorry about that,” he said. “Nothing we can do about the cold.”

I just nodded and tried to remember to breathe.

“It looks like you’ve been working out a lot.”

“Yeah, I have.”

It felt validating that he noticed the difference. I’d worked hard to get into shape, and I was proud of my new body. I finally felt like the best version of myself. I even looked a lot like I did when I played hockey. When I was on the team, I was my fittest, and now I wasn’t not far off from that again.

He gave me an approving smile. “That’s good. A mixture of regular exercise and healthy eating can go a long way.”

I couldn’t see the screen from my angle, so I just listened to the humming sound of the machine. He took some notes, then put the machine away.

“How does everything look?”

He gave me a tight-lipped smile and turned away. “We’ll discuss it once I get the rest of your tests back.”

“Oh, okay.”

That couldn’t be good, could it? If it were good news, wouldn’t he want to tell me right away? Although maybe he needed the other tests just to be sure.

“You can use the paper towels over there to clean your stomach off,” he said, pointing across the room. “I’ll be back shortly to discuss everything with you.”

“Okay.”

He left me alone, and I did as I was told. When I was finished, I sat back down in the chair and looked around at the posters on the wall. Dr. Williams was an oncologist, and his posters were all cancer related. It made my stomach roil to look at them. One pamphlet on the table was about handling your diagnosis and I almost picked it up.

Instead, I went online to check my notifications.

While not one of my best videos, the one I posted last night was getting a decent amount of attention. Some comments were from the usual trolls.

She thinks she’s a fitness expert now.

Once a fat girl, always a fat girl.

Wow, she’s gotten really good at making excuses.

I forced myself to scroll past the mean comments without reacting. Their hateful words didn’t necessarily get easier to read, but I was doing a better job at not letting them affect me.

There were also a few nice comments from my genuine fans.

Keep up the good work girl!! You look awesome!

Finally, someone who puts their health first. Any workout is a good workout!

You’ve inspired me to start my fitness journey and watching these videos has helped me stay motivated. Thanks so much Anna!

Those comments brought a smile to my face. There was nothing better than knowing my content was helping girls just like me. Fat girls who just wanted to feel good in their bodies again. That was the whole point of starting my account. As much as the fame hadn’t been easy to deal with, it meant a lot to know that I’d helped people with my content.

Unfortunately, most of the comments were from Julia’s fans. They were especially smug about the news of Barnett and Julia getting back together. It seemed like all her fans believed the article, despite how uncomfortable Barnett looked in the photo. Though I couldn’t be certain they weren’t right, considering what I saw at Esmeralda's.

The image of them sitting together, sharing their food, made anger rise again. He couldn’t avoid me forever. At some point, I was going to get answers from him.

Dr. Williams came back in with a clipboard in his hand and sat down in the desk chair. I quickly put my phone away and braced myself for whatever he was about to say. As much as I wanted to be hopeful, I knew the news probably wouldn't be good.

“Well, Anna,” he said. “Do you want the good news first or the bad news?”

I didn’t know what to say at first. On one hand, it was probably a good idea to start with the bad news. At least that way I’d get it over with. The other, weaker part of me wanted to put it off for just a little longer.

“Give me the good news.”

“Then I guess congratulations are in order.”

I stared at him blankly. What did he mean, congratulations?

He noticed my confusion and gave me a soft smile. “Anna, you’re pregnant.” My mouth dropped open. Pregnant? But he wasn’t done yet. “With triplets.”