Chapter 66
My first reaction was confusion. How could I be pregnant? “I don’t understand,” I said.
Dr. Williams handed me a piece of paper. “These are the results of your blood work. They clearly show that you’re pregnant. You’re a couple of weeks along now.”
“I don’t understand,” I said again.
My first thought was that they were Bob’s, which was terrible news. What if he wanted to be a part of their lives? The last thing I needed was to be tied to Bob forever. Just being divorced was bad enough, considering he couldn’t seem to leave me alone.
Then it dawned on me that the timeline didn’t add up. “You said I’m a few weeks along?”
Dr. Williams nodded.
“Oh.”
It hit me like a brick wall. They were Barnett’s babies, just like in my dreams. The night we hooked up after Lily’s party, we hadn’t used a condom. I didn’t have any in the house and I was far too drunk to think responsibly about protection.
Then the other part hit. “What about my cancer?” I said, nearly whispering. “Can I even have the babies safely?”
Dr. Williams answered, but I could hardly hear him. Bile rose in my throat, and I ran from the room. Luckily, there was a washroom just across the hall and I dashed inside. I barely made it to the stall before I threw up in the toilet.
I was throwing up again when I heard the door open. Tears streamed down my face, partly from the pain and partly because of what I’d learned. How could I carry these babies to term if I might not be alive long enough to do so?
“Mrs. Leonard, it’s Sally…the nurse from earlier. I’m just coming in to check on you.”
I wiped the back of my hand across my mouth. “I’m just a little nauseous,” I managed to say.
“That’s totally normal.”
Right, morning sickness. That explained why I’d been throwing up so much…that, and the cancer.
“Dr. Williams is waiting for you whenever you’re ready.”
I nodded and forced myself to my feet, my legs shaking. I flushed the toilet and moved to the sink to wash my hands. Sally left for a moment, then returned with a mint. “Here, this might help.”
“Thanks.” I took it from her and chewed on it until the taste of vomit was completely gone from my mouth.
Sally waited for me, probably worried I’d take off again. She led me back to the exam room, where Dr. Williams was still sitting in his desk chair. He gave me a kind smile and gestured for me to sit back down.
“Sorry about that,” I said, warmth rushing to my cheeks.
“No problem. Morning sickness is totally normal. A lot of women experience it in their first trimester.”
“Right.” I was in my first trimester. The thought felt separate from me. How could I be pregnant after all those years of trying to have a baby?
“And the cancer?” I mumbled.
He gave me a pained smile. “That’s the bad news. Well, it’s both good and bad. The good news is you don’t have cancer.” My mouth dropped open. “The bad news is that you were misdiagnosed. There was a mix-up at the hospital with the tests, but we couldn’t reach you for a follow-up appointment.”
“I don’t have cancer?” I repeated.
He nodded. “You have IBS and stomach ulcers. Not comfortable, but they won’t kill you. We can talk about treatment options when you’re ready.”
“So, I’m not dying?”
He smiled. “You’re not dying.”
I was still in shock by the time I reached work. Arthur was waiting for me in his makeup chair. I was still in such a daze after everything I’d learned that I barely mumbled hello before I started working on his foundation. We were going for a simpler look today and I tried to focus on my work. Still, Dr. Williams' words tumbled through my mind. You’re not dying.
So many things I’d done in the past few months were because of that diagnosis. Now that it wasn’t real, I didn’t know how to move forward. I pushed Lily away. I pushed Barnett away, and it was all for nothing. Now I’m having his kids and he’s potentially back with his ex.
“You okay, my little fan?” Arthur asked when I accidentally smudged his eyeliner.
I gave him an apologetic look and wiped away the uneven line. “Sorry, Arthur,” I said. I carefully fixed the line, then moved on to the other eye.
He waited until I was done to ask again. “You didn’t answer my question.”
I put the eyeliner down and leaned back to survey him. “Great, you’re done.” He crossed his arms. I could tell he wouldn’t move until I gave him an answer. “I went to the doctor today,” I said.
“Oh?” He bit his lip. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I shook my head. “I think I need to digest everything I found out first.”
“Just tell me this. Are you going to be okay? I’m worried about you.”
I forced a smile. His concern only reminded me of what he’d confessed. I’d avoided the topic for a week, but I knew I was running out of time to address it. He would not wait for an answer forever. “I’m fine, I promise.”
He looked at me for a moment, his gaze scrutinizing, before he nodded. “Alright.”
Arthur went to get dressed, and I waited for him near his chair, my head in the clouds. I could hear his other employees talking behind me, but I was too distracted to focus on what they were saying. I needed to find Barnett. He deserved to know the truth about my feelings and the babies. As much as I didn’t want to have to tell him, I knew I couldn’t keep this from him.
The only problem was that I had no idea where he was. I hadn’t seen him all week, not at Stand Up or even in the building. We used to cross paths all the time, but he was totally MIA. What if I messed things up for good?
Arthur returned a moment later, distracting me from my thoughts. I admired the simple blue suit he was wearing and the way it complemented his heavily lined eyes. The black eyeliner made his eyes an even more startling shade of blue, reminding me yet again of my brothers. I always thought Michael had the bluest eyes I’d ever seen.
Arthur noticed me staring and gave me a hopeful look. Oh no. I couldn’t put this off anymore.
“Can we talk for a minute?” I asked. “In private.”
He nodded and led me to his private office. I trailed after him and closed the door behind us, my heart fluttering in my throat.
I forced myself to look him in the eye. “I’ve thought about what you told me last week, and while it means the world to me, I just don’t feel the same way.” His face fell a little, and it made my heart ache. “I love you, just not in the way you want.”
He nodded and looked away, his jaw tight.
“And I just have too much going on right now to get into something new with someone.”
He was silent for a moment. “Like what?” he eventually asked.
Maybe it was a bad idea, but I didn’t want to keep lying to him. “Arthur, I’m pregnant. With triplets, actually”
His gaze shot to mine. “Pregnant?”
I nodded.
“Whose are they?”
“I’d rather not say just yet.”
He looked like he wanted to argue but stopped himself at the last minute. “I understand, Anna. Like I said, I just wanted you to know how I felt. I hoped that you felt that same way, but I never expected anything from you.”
I gave him a grateful smile and pulled him into a tight hug. He returned it just as tightly. “I would’ve happily been a father to your kids,” he murmured.
I smiled into his shoulder. “I know Arthur. You mean a lot to me. I hope you know that.”
He gave me one last squeeze, then stepped away. “I know, my little fan.”
