Chapter 7

“I don’t know,” I said as I turned the card around in my hands. “I’m going to have to think about it.”

Barnett merely stared at me, so I kept rambling.

“I’m not as confident about sharing and social media as Lily is. Besides, I’m just some newly divorced fat girl. Who’s going to want to watch me work out?”

“First of all, you are not fat. Second of all, you never know about the whole social media thing. I bet there are all sorts of people who will want to watch you.”

I cringed, thinking for a second about the kinds of perverts Barnett might be thinking about. Peter immediately came to mind. I almost gagged at the thought of him watching my ass while I stretched.

Barnett rolled his eyes and chuckled.

“I don’t mean that kind of person,” he said. “I mean people like you—divorced, looking to get healthy, a little more down on themselves than they should be.”

He tried to meet my eyes, but I refused to return his gaze.

“You know,” he continued, “the ones with the hot girls inside just waiting to burst out of them.”

My cheeks flushed. I examined the card closely, as though it were the most fascinating thing in the world.

It shined from the gloss and golden text against the black background. The cursive raised slightly from the cardstock. So strong, so beautiful, just like everything that involved Barnett.

He was right. I used to have the kind of body that would turn heads, men’s and women’s. How I longed to have that again—and the vibrancy and confidence that came with it.

I tucked the V.I.P. card into my purse behind Thompson’s business card. Maybe it was time for me to make a change.

• * *

I watched from the living room window of my new apartment as Barnett’s car pulled away. Lily had left several minutes before, after helping me drop my bags off in my bedroom. Barnett had taken longer, wanting to ensure that I was settled before leaving.

As the black Rolls Royce took the corner at the end of the street, I thought back to when Barnett picked me up. How he had smelled. How unsure I had been that he was the man from the dinner party.

But that smell. It was so uniquely him, and for the man from that night to carry the same scent—specifically of hockey jerseys and helmets—that couldn’t just be a coincidence.

I walked into my bedroom and opened my duffel bag. From it, I pulled out the jacket he had left that night. I brought it to my nose and took a deep breath.

Sweat, pine, and hockey jerseys and helmets. Yes, that was definitely him.

So, why didn’t he say anything about it? Didn’t he want his jacket back?

Then it occurred to me: his family. He has a wife, a gorgeous wife. He wouldn’t risk it all by causing the same misunderstanding that had happened with Bob and me.

As far as I knew, Julia hadn’t cheated on Barnett like Bob had cheated on me. Barnett wouldn’t put his marriage on the chopping block just to admit that he was there for me in my time of need. Not that anyone would believe that he would cheat on Julia with me.

Still, if Barnett didn’t want to bring up, then neither would I.

• * *

Barnett entered his sprawling midcentury modern bachelor pad to find Lily waiting patiently for him on the black leather couch. She flipped through channels on the wall-mounted flat screen TV. She finally settled on a documentary about the early 2000s when he came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

“Enjoying yourself?” he asked.

“There’s nothing on, as always.”

“Read a book, then.”

“You know I’m not a reader.”

“Oh yes, heaven forbid that you stimulate your mind a little.” He looked up at the TV and shook his head. “I can’t believe that there’s really a documentary on the 2000s already.”

“Well, it was over 20 years ago.” Lily threw the remote on the couch and twisted around to face Barnett. “So, how did things go with Anna?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I wanted to surprise her with your presence, but it seemed that she didn’t even remember you.” She frowned, disappointed. “How do you feel about her?”

The left corner of Barnett’s lip quirked into a crooked grin. He slowly removed his jacket and hung it on a hook in the mudroom as he thought over his answer.

His mind drifted back to the days of Lily and Anna as students. They were both passionate about hockey, but Anna always had a particular talent for it. She was even in a special training program aimed at preparing her to try out for the Olympics.

He never did find out why she stopped pursuing that dream.

“She is no longer the girl that I remember,” he said, a slight laugh in his voice.

He looked as if he was expressing his disappointment in the present Anna, but Lily knew her uncle. As a billionaire, his time was very valuable, and he never wasted even a minute of it easily on anyone.

He was interested in Anna. Lily was very sure of that.

• * *

It took a couple of days for me to gather the courage to go to Stand Up. Honestly, I almost didn’t go at all. The idea of working out in public and having to post about it on social media just to be able to afford it was too mortifying for someone like me.

Then I reminded myself of the resolution I had made the last time I had seen Barnett. I even looked through old photos of myself from high school to hype myself up. The stark difference between myself back then and myself now was a bit depressing, but it was also the kick in the pants that I needed.

I showed up at Stand Up in a loose-fitting tank top, some sweats, and a pair of old sneakers, my brunette hair pulled back into a high ponytail. I wasn’t sure if I was dressed appropriately for a workout, but it was the best that I had.

I arrived at 11 a.m. on a Wednesday. Not too many people populated the expansive, well-equipped gym. At least there wouldn’t be too many people around to watch me embarrass myself.

At the same time, I could feel all the eyes that were there following me as I made my way to the treadmills at the back of the gym. The pain in my stomach returned. A voice at the back of my head told me again and again that this was the worst idea that I had ever had.

Still, I persisted.

I set my bag next to one of the treadmills and pulled out my phone. My hands shaking, I took my first step and signed up for a social media account. I was so nervous that I couldn’t even remember which one I was signing up for; I only knew that Lily had recommended it.

I shook my head to try to clear it.

I can do this, I assured myself. I can do this.

I stared at the little camera icon on my phone. It glared back up at me like Bob when Peter told him about Barnett. My hand shook even harder.

I can do this.