Chapter2

Ethan stood outside holding sparklers, his hair falling across his forehead. He smiled when he saw me.

"Happy New Year, Claire."

Fireworks burst above the houses behind him. I barely looked at them. He'd come to find me when he could have been anywhere else, with anyone else, and I couldn't stop smiling back.

That was the night I began to understand why being near him felt different from being near anyone else.

For years, I'd held on to that feeling. The distance he kept from other people had made every kindness to me seem like a promise.

Watching him protect Vanessa tonight, I wondered how much of that promise I'd made up myself.

Rain began tapping against the balcony railing. I went inside and called Ethan.

He didn't answer. I tried again, then once more. Just as I gave up and started typing a message, his number appeared on my screen.

I answered, but before I could speak, I heard Vanessa.

"Ethan, I shouldn't have said anything to those reporters. I made everything worse. I'm sorry."

I went still, the phone pressed to my ear.

"You don't need to apologize," Ethan said. "I've put you through enough these past few years. You know you're the one I've always loved."

I stared at the wall.

Neither of them addressed me. Their voices dropped, followed by sounds too intimate for me to misunderstand. My hand tightened around the phone, but I couldn't seem to move it away.

In two years of marriage, I'd seen and heard enough to know where I stood. Somehow, hearing him say it still hurt.

Ethan had been the one to propose.

Two years earlier, someone my father trusted had betrayed him, leaving the company in a financial crisis. Staff feared for their jobs. People who had once courted Dad's business stopped returning his calls.

Ethan offered the Caldwell Group's help. Everyone assumed he was protecting an old family friend. They didn't know what he'd asked for the day before.

"Do you love me?" he'd said.

"Yes."

There hadn't been any point in denying it. Our friends had known for years. I'd only learned to keep quiet about it after Vanessa arrived.

Ethan looked straight at me.

"Will you marry me?"

I lowered my eyes and waited. He hadn't smiled. There was more, and I knew it.

"I can help the Bennett family get through this. In return, you'll marry me and keep my mother happy."

He paused.

"I can give you anything you want, except love."

I tried to smile. For so long, I'd imagined him asking me to marry him. I had never imagined having to swallow my disappointment before I could answer.

His mother had fiercely opposed his relationship with Vanessa from the moment he brought her home. He'd pleaded with her, but she wouldn't change her mind.

Friends who had known them overseas told me how they had met at a bar and become close. They said Vanessa had been injured in an accident while trying to save him. While she was in the hospital, he had looked after her, and their friendship had become something more.

That was all I knew of the accident. What I remembered most clearly was the party we'd held when Ethan came home.

He walked in with Vanessa, and everyone looked at me.

Later, I learned he'd already told our friends they were together. I was the one person he hadn't told.

Even knowing that, I accepted his proposal. Without the Caldwell Group's help, my father's business might not survive. I couldn't pretend we had a line of willing investors waiting outside.

And beneath that practical reason was the one I was ashamed to admit: I still wanted to be close to him. I thought I could live with what he offered. Perhaps, given enough time, he'd see me again.

Along with the marriage agreement, we signed another document. One condition defined our life together: neither of us would interfere in the other's private life.

So I didn't ask where he went. If he left on a business trip, I often didn't know where he was going or who would be with him. I had agreed not to question him, and I kept that agreement even when I wanted answers.

In front of our parents, he knew exactly how to behave. He took my hand, asked what I wanted, and made sure I was looked after. While my parents were alive, they seldom had reason to worry about my marriage.

I learned my part just as well.

Whatever happened when we were alone, we could always look like a loving couple for the people who mattered to him.