Chapter 36

Nan’s POV

…He pulls me into a fiery kiss…

I am consumed by flames.

Or at least it feels that way. I surge into the kiss. Reckless and wanting.

My anger has not disappeared. This kiss does not magically make me forget my anger. Instead, my anger has changed.

Anger becomes passion. Transformed into something that does not burn us both. Yet leaves it’s mark regardless.

I grip his shoulders. One hand finds its way to his curls. I run my hands greedily through them, marveling at the texture.

I’m satisfied to know they are as soft as I pictured in the quiet of the night. It is not the only thing I have thought of in my time here. I do not want this moment to end.

I am only distantly aware of the way I am gasping for air between miniscule pauses. My lungs are deprived of oxygen. But my heart receiving it’s long-awaited due makes that easy to disregard.

His tongue traces my lips. Demanding, pleading for entrance. I grant his unspoken wish.

Even in this intimacy we fight for dominance. His taste…sweet champagne, and something indescribable but all to addicting. I can only savor it.

His hands explore my body. His fingertips leaving trails of goosebumps and heat.

One soft brush against my neck makes me unexpectedly arch. I can feel his grin. So I dig my fingers through those inky curls and yank in retaliation.

He growls and pulls me closer. There is no space between our bodies. I almost feel like I could sink into his skin if I was any closer.

‘I’ve never felt the urge to sink my teeth into anyone before. But Lionel seems to give me new experiences all the time.’ I darkly ponder.

I nip at his bottom lip. Not enough to scar, but to draw a drop of blood that smears across both our mouths. Marking us both.

A possessive growl vibrates from his chest. A tease to his senses. Our combined scents must be driving his wolf crazy.

‘Good,’ I think victoriously. I am beyond reason. Beyond doubt and rational thought.

I might regret this when it is done. The emotional upheaval and deadline would surely make things more difficult if we kept going. But my desires had been denied and shoved aside for too long now.

My heart is pounding. Beating so fast it nearly hurt. The place in my chest where I have been feeling so much pain has been replaced with flames.

But the flames do not hurt. They feel safe and warm. Like a hearth.

The intense pull I feel towards Lionel from the moment we met makes me want to be as close as possible. Even being pressed against him is not enough. I am longing for more.

He breaks the kiss, leaving me to confusingly chase his lips. He picks me up. I automatically wrap my legs around his waist.

Behind me he sweeps his arms out. Paperwork and décor go flying. I barely notice the crash of delicate glass hitting hardwood.

He sits me on his desk. I can see the glazed look and how blown his pupils are. Like opened earth, ready to swallow me whole.

His lips are wet and pink. Swollen. I can see the broken skin from where I nipped him.

My own visible mark on him. My own claim. Arousal bubbles in my belly.

Then he leans in and trails soft kisses across my neck. The sigh I let out is soft and feminine. A sound I have never made before.

My hands are free to run across the expanse of his back. I trace along the lines there. Feeling the way his muscles tremble at my touch. He groans.

‘What other sounds can I pull from him? I will not be outdone by him...’ I must be the one to win this new battle of wills.

He squeezes the back of my neck, hand large and calloused. An intimate askance of submission from alphas to their lovers. Wolves have an ingrained instinct to respond to this.

As a wolfless, I have never had typical wolf instincts. This should have no impact on me. But I shudder anyway and relax into his hold.

I do not know how much further this will go. I do not care. I am too lost in my pleasure.

But then Lionel’s fangs scrape lightly against my throat. Not drawing blood, and gentle. Right above the spot that mates bite into to claim each other.

At the same time, I feel something hard against my stomach. Hot and thick. Those two factors pull me away from the moment.

I feel like I have been doused in ice water. All of my previous desire and giddiness washed away faster than waves on the tide. ‘No, not like this...’

I push him as hard as I can. I do not have the strength like most wolves, but he is not expecting it. He stumbles back.

I let my feet hit the floor. Take in the mess we have made in his office. Papers strown about, broken glass.

His face is confused. ‘Hurt,’ my mind whispers. But I refuse to think further on that.

He reaches out to pull me to him again. I only step back and shake my head.

He is breathing as heavily as me. “Nan, why did you-”

My voice is frosty. “What? Why did I what?”

“Why did you stop? I thought that-” He breaks off at my bitter laugh.

“You thought that you would kiss me…fuck me…and that I would just bow down to you. But I am not some idiot you can pacify with sex. And you even have the nerve nearly mate me after that!”

He gives me an incredulous glare. “I’m not trying to manipulate you into anything! That’s not what was going on.”

“Oh, so we weren’t in the middle of an argument? So I did not say something that made you mad? So you did not kiss me to shut me up as soon as I did that?”

‘Does he really think I’m that naïve? That stupid?’ I seethe.

Perhaps this is an unfair accusation. I kissed him back after all. But mating is a serious business.

The act we just came close to committing is life-changing and binding. It cannot be undone. It is not something that should be done on a whim.

The fact that Lionel had nearly done so after a bad argument...especially after all the things he said…it hurt me. How could I bond to someone who did not trust or believe me?

“That’s not what happened! Why are you acting like this? You wanted it too!”

I rub my temples. “Did you think that sex would make things better? That I would just back down and forgive you?”

“Forgive me? You don’t need to forgive me, because I am not the one in the wrong.” He snapped back.

I want to pull my hair out in frustration. He is the one who would not listen when I proclaimed my innocence. He is the one who’s been spying on me.

A slew of arguments are on the tip of my tongue. But then I realize there is no point. Lionel still does not understand the real issue for me.

“In fact, you should apologize to me. Accusing me of spying on you like I have nothing better to do. Sneaking off to meet ex-boyfriends.”

“I told you that nothing happened. Nothing.” I bit back.

“Proof says otherwise.” He growls.

“Proof? The same proof that you claim is not spying on me, but magically found a way to you?” I scoff.

“That’s not the point, Nan!”

‘We are going in circles once more. This is going nowhere.’ I think.

“You’re right. That isn’t the point, Lionel.”

“Well I’m glad we agree on something!” He replies bitterly.

I do not respond. I am more emotionally tired than angry by now. Even if Lionel had not sent others to spy on me, he is still willfully ignoring my point.

‘He’s looking for a fight,’ I notice. But he will not get one from me. I have reached my limit.

I walk away without looking at him.