Chapter 46

Lionel’s POV

I am not crazy.

‘I’m not,’ I think insistently.

It has been only days since Nan recovered. Things have changed between us again. But I am pleased with these changes.

It is hard to pinpoint those differences outwardly. On the surface not much has changed. Only those really looking would notice.

I have been looking. My eyes have always been drawn to Nan. But now I am refusing to fight that urge.

Nan is sitting with the girls at a smaller desk. Pieces of their homework are strown about. The girls are giggling but focused.

Her wavy brunette hair is pulled back into a singular braid. Suppressed amusement lurks beneath her patience demeaner. Seemingly the same as every afternoon these last few months.

I walk in the room and situate myself behind Nan to face the girls. “How’s the homework coming?” I inquire.

“Words are hard. Can’t Vera just read for me, and I can count for her?” Patti whines.

“Sounds good to me!” Vera adds.

I raise my eyebrow. “Does it?” I drawl out.

Patti nods seriously. I do not laugh at her actions like I want too. My girls have definitely inherited my stubbornness.

I bend the upper half of my body forward and rest a hand on the table. Conveniently right behind Nan. Skillfully wrapping myself around her without actually touching her.

The aroma of her apple body wash and her natural scent rise toward my searching nose. I almost want to purr. I maintain my façade of nonchalance.

“But what happens if Vera wants to go shopping and you don’t? How will Vera buy what she wants?” I tease.

Patti takes a second to think about it. “We’ll call you Dad!” She says assuredly.

Nan leans back. Her arm moves indiscernibly near mine. Brushing against mine purposefully for multiple seconds.

The girls take no notice of this small gesture. But I do. Every little reciprocation on her half gives me hope.

“How about we take you to the park if you finish your homework without wheedling your way out of it?” Nan bargains. But the slight sternness in her tone warns against any arguing.

That motivates the girls. They work on their homework without any more complaints. ‘She is amazing with them,’ I admire.

Nan stands up. “Do you want to take them, or should I?” Leaning slightly into my personal space.

I’m tempted. Seeing Nan with my girls is always a glorious sight. But…

“You go ahead. There’s something I need to do here.”

She smiles sweetly. A slight blush covers the top of her cheeks. It is a siren’s call.

I start to lean forward without realizing. Allured by her. Unthinking of my daughters’ presence.

But Nan turns away. As though she is unaffected. Like she does not feel the same pull I feel every time I Atouch her…

I reign in my frustrated growl.

I had as good as confessed my feelings for Nan with my apology and actions. We had shared a moment of intimacy. Nan has even acted more flirtatious ever since….

I felt it. I know I had felt a fledgling mate bond during our ecstasy. It was not a hallucination or misunderstanding.

Yet Nan…she had not reacted. She showed no sign of feeling the pull. It baffles me.

Nan leaves the room as the girls go to grab their shoes. I follow her. Hoping to get answers.

“Nan. Wait.” I call out.

“Did you need something?”

“I wanted to…talk about it. The other night.” I say hesitantly.

Her blush deepens. “I really enjoyed it. I hope you aren’t regretting anything…”

“No. No, I don’t regret a thing.” I assure her.

She tries to hide her pleased expression. But I see it anyway. I am satisfied that I am the source of her pleasure, as I always should be.

But I press on. Refusing to be derailed from my line of questioning. I must find out.

“Did you feel anything that night?” I ask.

“I’d say I felt a few good things, yes.” She responds flirtatiously.

A smirk. “I’m glad to know. But that’s not what I meant.”

She eyes me in confusion. “Then what did you mean?”

“I meant…did you feel anything…different?”

“From the last time we almost…sure. I wasn’t angry at you this time and I had just finished being sick. So I’d say I was feeling differently.”

“That’s not…” I trail off with a sigh. Flex my hands at my side.

“Lionel, what are you talking about?” She asks quizzically.

I shake my head in defeat. “Never mind. The girls are waiting for you.”

I head to my study to think. Irritated at my failure. Still without an answer to my predicament.

I drop into my leather chair. Put a hand to my forehead. Contemplate.

‘It makes no sense,’ I deliberate. The mate bond is a powerful feeling. Unmistakable once established.

Every wolf had grown up with this knowledge. It’s a simple fact of our society. Alliances and marriages had been built on this.

There were few types of mate bond. There were ones that were used by most of polite society. Ones built on commonality that those of lower status created out of necessity.

There were mate bonds like mine and Katya’s. Similar to most of the arranged bonds in higher society. A mate bond that usually grew over time and familiarity.

But the most sacred was that of the fated mate. Legends had been built on this bond. Those bonds were not common at all.

Wolves have been taught how to recognize the signs of the different mate bonds. What I felt with Nan…it had been too brief for me to confirm. But I knew there was something there.

But Nan does not seem to recognize anything. Or maybe she does not feel it…it begs the questions of how and why.

I do not like the connotations of those questions. There are two possible answers to this mystery. Ones I had been trying so hard not to think about.

Those born with weak wolves have been known to struggle. Their senses are not as keen as regular wolves. They also have a harder time with the mate bond.

It’s not a pleasant thought. Nan already has a tough time. Being born with a weak wolf is not…ideal.

But the other possibility…

‘No, it can’t be.’ I refute. ‘There is no way…’

But that horrible idea is lodged in my brain. It will not go away. It makes me restless.

I unwillingly remember Cora’s dubious claims.

“She is wolf-less… Lionel, you’ve been deceived... She confirmed it for me herself…”

I had dismissed Cora like everyone else. Cora had been a deceitful, entitled person herself. It would not surprise me if she’d lost her mind after being foiled by someone she considers beneath her.

But now…her claims make a troublesome amount of sense. I had thought that Nan simply has an impressive amount of control of her inner wolf. Even at her angriest, I had never seen Nan flash her eyes or growl.

‘But maybe it’s because she couldn’t.’ My doubts whisper.

If Nan was…if Cora was right…what would this mean?

How could I…how we…what could we do?

‘Don’t get ahead of yourself,’ I think. ‘Cora hated Nan, and Nan has not said anything on the matter.’

But that line of reasoning only raises my doubts further. Nan has not said anything about it…why is that?

A knock at my study door interrupts my spiraling. The object of my thoughts is there. Nan.

She walks in with a friendly expression. “I just wanted to let you know we’re back.”

“That’s good.” I reply half-heartedly. Too distracted to garner a positive attitude.

Nan perceives me. “Lionel, is something the matter? You’ve been kind off all afternoon.”

Concern envelops her body. Her grey eyes are trained on me. Ready to help.

“Nan, I have a question for you…” But I falter.

We have only just started getting along again. I don’t want to be at odds again. Will my desperation for knowledge drive a wedge between us?

Yet…I cannot ignore this situation any longer. If what I suspect is true…it will change everything. I need to know.

“What? What do you want to know?” She questions.

I stare at her eyes. Taking in the inquisitive light. Preparing myself to plunge into dangerous emotional territory.

“Nan…was there any truth to Cora’s claims?”