Chapter 56

Nan’s POV

There is only one clear path for me.

I see this now.

The ride home had not made things any clearer. I may have fibbed to Mr. Darren…just a little. I left the office in resolution.

But the lonely ride home gave me time to think. Too much time to think. Leaving doubt to creep in.

‘Is this the right decision?’ I ask myself. ‘Selling my mother’s necklace does not seem right either.’

It is true that Lionel’s gift means a lot to me. But so does my mother’s necklace. Could I really live with myself if I sold either one?

It slightly warmed my heart to notice Lionel waiting for me. Clearly concerned by my change in plans. But talking about my problems with Lionel is the last thing I wanted.

Yet seeing him there…so eager to help…it inspired me.

His answer was both disappointing and perfect.

Disappointing because I had really wanted to hear another answer. To somehow be reassured that everything would be alright and go the way I wanted. But that would have been a lie.

‘I would choose to do what is right…’

His declaration settles most of my doubts. But a tiny part of myself is still resistant to the idea. I need to see my mother’s necklace to be absolutely sure.

I close the door behind me and lock it once I reach my bedroom. Then I go inside the closet. I stand-on the tips of my toes and stretch.

A grunt escapes me as my fingertips fumble around the top shelf. Finally I feel the familiar worn wood of the chest hidden behind all my other belongings. I grasp it and gently maneuver it down.

I place it on the floor beside my bed. Then I ease down to sit crisscross on the rug. Leaning most of my weight against the bed behind me.

I run my fingers across the engravings there. Nostalgia rose within. It was an old and beautiful chest.

Carved on the top was the faint image of the Moon Goddess reaching a gracious hand to a prostrating wolf. Faded symbols etched beside it. The meanings long lost to the ravages of time.

It was once a well-beloved glory box passed amongst the females of our line. But it’s worth became lessened as old traditions faded to modern values. What used to host a beautiful array of fabric and such was now my own personal treasure chest.

I opened the latch and eyed the contents inside. A smile unfurled from me as I lifted the photo album resting at the top. I peeked briefly at the faces of my family.

My sister Kay’s prom…Dena’s graduation from high school…my first birthday…

I can’t help but linger on the image of my parents’ smiling faces. Contradictory longing and resentment causing a lump in my throat. I shut the photo album.

I riffle through the rest of the items. Putting aside my great-uncle’s pocket watch and my grandma’s antique perfume bottle. Until I come across what I am looking for.

I hold my mother’s necklace to my face. A rather plain looking thing. Not nearly as beautiful as the necklace currently around my neck.

And yet…the memory comes to me.

“Sit here, sweet girl.” My mother pats the space beside her on the bed.

I plop into the spot. Crossing my arms. The picture of pre-pubescent angst.

“Mom…I don’t want to talk about. It was just a stupid joke.” I scoff.

She hums. “And yet you seem pretty upset about this ‘stupid joke’ Nan.”

I just glare at the floor. Embarrassed that she can see right through me. Scrunching my nose to keep my mouth from quivering.

Mom eyes me for a minute. Staring at me with those same sage green eyes that Kay shares with her. She sighs deeply in her chest.

She rises from the bed. I do not lift my eyes. I don’t want to see her give up on me.

But that is not what she does. She pulls something out from her safe. Then returns to my side.

I am intrigued enough to forget my pouting for the moment. In her hand sits a long metallic chain. At the end is a pendant.

The design is old. A silver wolf curled around a lotus. The only color to the necklace is the wolves’ eyes…like moonstone but tinted in grey.

She places it in my hand. It feels warm to the touch. This throws me off.

“Mom…I’ve never seen this before. Where did you get this?” I ask.

“It has been passed down in our family for countless generations. From mother to daughter.” She smiles kindly.

But I detect an unusual sadness to her. “But why are you giving this to me? Shouldn’t this go to Dena or Kay?”

‘Shouldn’t this go to your children with inner wolves?’ I do not say. The thought remains.

Mom shakes her head. “Did you know…there are only a few of these necklaces left in the world? All others have been destroyed or lost.”

My eyes widen. “Wow. Why?”

“Centuries, there was a huge war. One that encompassed the world. It was in a time were clans and packs had their own symbols.”

My twelve-year-old self is enchanted. Even then I loved stories. It was rare that my mother had time to indulge me like this.

“Like…before they had toilets?” I ask eagerly.

“Even longer than that.” My mom says dryly.

“In time all knowledge of that special pack was lost to common knowledge. However, little remnants like these remain. A reminder that they existed.”

I stare down in amazement. “How did we get this? It must be old.”

Mom smiles. “It is. There are collectors who would sell their soul to get their hands on this.”

“If it’s so special…why are you showing it to me?” I ask hesitantly. Not understanding my mother’s actions.

“Nan…at first glance, this necklace may not seem like much. It has long and difficult history.” My mom says.

“But when you look closer…its value is priceless. Even if others don’t see that at first.” She lovingly runs her hand down my hair.

My pulse picks up. Unshed tears fill my eyes. Making my mother’s kind face blur.

“I want you to have this because I believe it was meant for you. I hope in time you will come to see its value to and appreciate it.” She finishes quietly.

Her words crack something inside of me. A wall of ice I do not yet know exists in me. The place that held back a tsunami of pain and anger.

A long-forgotten conversation just before shit hit the fan in my life. One of the last memories I held dear of my mother before my parents’ untimely passing. The memory hurts to touch.

My mother have me this necklace only months before her death. There was so much I had never got to ask her about our family history. It had just been me and my sisters left after their death.

‘This necklace has been in my family for generations.’ I think painfully. ‘How would it be right to give away my mother’s last gift to me…knowing how much this meant to her?’

I close my eyes. Letting both the good and bad memories of my mother run freely through my head. Embracing pain and love.

‘What would my mother want?’ I ask myself. ‘How would she suggest I fix this?’

Selling the necklace permanently would break her heart…but maybe I don’t have to go that far.

The answer strikes like lightning. I place the necklace and hurry back down to the car. Excitement and hope spurring me on.

I do not stop until I am only blocks away from my destination. It would not be a good idea to park such a luxury vehicle on this side of town. I walk past old buildings and cracked pavement.

I don’t stop until I reach my destination. ‘Wolfie’s Ol’ Pawn Shop’ flashes neon above. It takes less than an hour to complete my task.

Unease and hope battle inside me. I am all too aware of the absence of my mother’s necklace. But Mr. Darren’s face when I present my pawn money gives me some peace.

‘It’s okay…I’ll get your necklace back mom…’ I vow.

I do not notice the shadow that has followed my steps throughout the day.