Chapter 77

Lionel’s POV

I listened to the audio files again and again.

Searching for any hint of deception. A slip of tongue…a lilt to her voice…words that hinted at previous plans. Something that would either put my doubts to rest or prove them right.

I thought I caught hints of anger in her voice. A tightness to it. But I could not be sure.

I regretted destroying the Frost earring in my fit of rage. It might have given me good insight into the conversation within the car. But then another idea occurred to me.

I did have video feed from the mansion. Perhaps I could observe that. It was highly unlikely that she would have a guard up every moment over the last six months.

If she had been working with her ex…there would be signs. If she was innocent…then her behavior that night might also be an indication. And if it gave me a chance to look at her face free of her anger…that was my business.

It was time consuming task. But worth the effort. I had my answer by the end.

It did not bring me any comfort. No, my guilt and horror were all too powerful by the end. My actions in the aftermath made me feel nauseous as I realized the full scope of what I had done.

I realized Nan had been telling me the truth.

The video evidence showed no signs of communication between her and her ex-boyfriend until the exact instances she mentioned. There were no records of text and phone calls exchanged on David’s phone. She had left from the cabin after the conversation and came straight to my study.

‘To tell me everything.’ I think with excruciating guilt. ‘She came looking to help me…only to be met with my scornful wrath.’

That does make me hurl. I spend nearly an hour emptying my stomach of all its contents. Heaving forcefully as I remember everything she endured.

The next nights after my realization are restless. My mind flooded with images that day. Torturing me.

I have so much guilt. I know the only way forward is to make amends. My wolf will not rest until I do.

‘How will I fix this?’ I agonize. ‘From last time’s reaction…’

Never have I seen such hatred. Her grey eyes became a dark, stormy cloud the moment I spoke. I knew then that apologizing would not be easy.

Yet…

I would do anything to help her and make up for my mistake. Even if she resisted my attempts. Nan deserved that much, at least.

Another realization was dawning on me too. I was free to pursue her. To court her.

The worst had already happened. I had done about the worst I could do. Nan already resented me by my own actions.

What did my reputation matter at this point? Had I not already defended her from everyone? Really…her having a weak wolf form meant little to me in the face of true love.

Perhaps this horrible nightmare might become a distant memory.

A sense of purpose entered me. I would grovel for Nan. I would grovel to and court the woman I love. I had the perfect idea on how to start.

I began by letting the girls call Nan at night. The girls would spend most of the time yapping away about their day or complaining. I never spoke during these conversations…I simply listened to the sound of Nan’s soothing voice.

I could tell this was not enough for Nan. Or my daughters. Which played into my plans.

Then came the visits. I began letting the girls visit. I found ways to invite myself along.

It was underhanded. I could tell by Nan’s pursed lips that she resented my presence. But I quickly made excuses about being concerned about my daughter’s safety in this…rough neighborhood.

It was not a lie. Not exactly. But I also guessed that she would just slam the door in my face if I tried to show up alone.

Nan’s demeanor is icy. She refuses to speak or look at me. But perhaps that is for the best.

It prevents her from seeing my reaction to her apartment. I am utterly aghast at the horrid sight. The nicest term I can think of to describe it is hole in the wall.

There are cracks along ceilings and walls. Suspicious stains on the linoleum that someone tried to clean up but failed. A colony of roaches scurrying behind cabinets and cracks in the walls.

It is only a studio apartment. But somehow Nan’s mattress laying innocently on the floor makes it seem so much bigger around her small space. As if she is surrounded by emptiness.

The thought makes my guilt churn uncomfortably.

My guilt only worsens as I listen to her try and downplay her struggles at my daughter’s obvious concern. Nan remains warm and calm through the explanation. Though her quick glance at me tells me of her resentment.

‘I’ll fix this.’ I vow to myself. ‘I know what I need to do.’

Nan may not speak to me. But that did not mean I could not show my remorse in other ways. At the very least I would do what I could to make her life easier.

I put my plan in action over the next few weeks.

I would bring the girls over for dinner with Nan. I did not join for Nan’s comfort. Taking her silent avoidance of me as the message it was.

If Nan’s fridge and pantry had a few extra groceries for the week...that was so that the girls could have plenty of snacks. Or that’s what I argued when Nan noticed. The unimpressed glare warned me that she saw through me.

But she let it be…so I pushed a little further.

If one day Nan came home to find most of the cracks patched up…I told her it was because her landlord ordered it. I did not say that I threatened to sue the man into compliance within an inch of his worthless life. Being a slumlord meant he did not deserve my kindness anyway.

No sink? Well, I guess it was lucky that I had a spare one around. Second-hand, I assured Nan’s irritated face.

Of course, I did not mention that my ‘spare one’ was a top of the line sink I immediately purchased offline. Once the handyman installed it…Nan knew she could not protest. If it got her to look at me most of the visit…even if it was to glare…that was progress.

Bugs crawling around? I was as fast as lightning with the bug spray. Heroically killing the little invaders.

Well…my girls thought it was heroic. Nan just rolled her eyes at my bravado. No glare this time.

I had the little hole in the wall turned into an actual living space within two months. It was by no means acceptable. But it was tolerable.

Tolerable enough for me to sneak my way in. It began with leaving a few items here and there. A pen at the table…an extra jacket on the coat rack…my favorite drink in the fridge…a charger or two of mine.

Little inconsequential things. Hardly noticeable. But Nan caught on sooner than I’d hoped.

“Are you for real right now?!” She whisper yelled at me one night. Our girls napping on the Nan’s mattress.

‘I’ll have to fix that too.’ I think. ‘It will be fun to see how to sneak a bed frame past her though…’

“Do you even understand what the hell you did? How much you ruined my life?” She grounds out.

I stay silent. Letting her continue to condemn me. To vent her hurt.

She gives me a tongue lashing like I have never received in my life. Made all the worse by the fact that everything she said is true. I stoically accept it all.

Until she sighs.

“I know you’re sorry. I know why you did what you did…but I can’t forgive you.” She whispers.

My stomach drops. I swallow. “Okay.”

But she is not done speaking. “I can’t forgive you…yet.” She clarifies.

“Yet?” I repeat with hope in my voice.

“I guess you’ll have to stick around long enough. Keep up what you’re doing.” Her mouth twitches upwards.

It’s nothing like her real smile. But it’s still beautiful to me. A sign of possible redemption.

I nod and smile back. But then her face becomes somber. Her next words hit me hard.

“But regardless…we can never be together. I will never be your pack’s Luna.” She says gravely.