Chapter3

The cold came back into my body all at once.

The back of my shirt was damp with sweat.

Two years in the dark. And I'd almost blown it open on the night I was leaving, in front of a steakhouse full of people who'd just watched me get humiliated. It wouldn't have fixed anything. It would only have made it uglier for both of us.

And he'd broken a glass to shut me up.

Fine. Message received.

"Wait, what were you gonna say?" One of the freshmen leaned in, grinning. "You and Jace are what? You can't just stop there, I won't sleep tonight."

"Drop it." Theo didn't even raise his voice. Then he looked at me and nodded at the chair beside him. "There's room down here."

I sat.

Theo ran my fork and knife under his water glass and wiped them on his napkin without making a show of it. "Sorry about the van. I was on the phone with Coach. Didn't see you'd been left. Next time I'll have somebody ride with you. It's late to be out by yourself."

"It's fine," I said. "There won't be a next time."

Without me, the van fit everybody perfectly.

Across the table, Jace cracked crab legs for Sloane and dropped the meat onto her plate. Refilled her water before she could ask.

I tried to remember the last time Jace and I had eaten a meal together.

I couldn't.

It was before the job. I'd applied so I could be closer to him. Two years later, I'd never been further away.

The food tasted like cardboard. A couple of times, I felt Jace looking at me. When the check came, my phone buzzed.

Don't leave yet. It's dark. I’ll get you home.

I typed: OK.

If I was ending this, I'd end it to his face.

We were all spilling out onto the sidewalk when Sloane touched his arm.

"Jace? Could you take me home? I really don't like being out alone at night."

I stopped about fifteen feet away.

"Get one of the guys to do it." Jace turned around. The guys were already scattering, elbowing each other, suddenly very busy with their phones.

He stood there for a few seconds. Then he looked down and typed.

Her place is close. I’ll ride with her and come right back.

I believed him.

I sat down on the bench outside the restaurant to wait.

A busboy came out to stack chairs and asked if I was okay. I said I was waiting for my boyfriend.

It was the first time I’d ever called him that out loud.

The doors swung open. Theo came out, folding the receipt into his wallet. He stopped short when he saw me.

"Everybody's gone. You need something?"

"I'm waiting for Jace." I stood up and brushed off my jeans. "He's coming back after he drops off Sloane. He said he needed to talk to me."

I didn't say why. Theo frowned anyway.

"Sloane lives out past the river. That's forty-five minutes. Each way."

I went very still.

"He left you sitting out here for that?"

I checked my phone. Thirty-two minutes since their taillights turned the corner.

I was suddenly shaking, and it wasn't from the wind.

"I don't care how much he can't stand you," Theo said. "You don't leave somebody alone on a curb at eleven at night." He held up his phone. "My Uber's here. Come on, I'll drop you at your dorm."

In the back seat, I opened my thread with Jace.

I'm done. We're over.

I watched the screen until the dorm came into view.

Jace didn't answer.

He never even asked if I was still on that bench.

By morning I was burning up.

Maybe it was the wind. Maybe it was two years catching up all at once. I'd slept in pieces and woken up with my skin too tight and my head full of wet sand.

My phone rang at nine. Theo.

"Lena? You coming in today? The new road uniforms came in last week and I can't find them anywhere."

My brain was soup. I told him one shelf, then another. He checked both. Nothing.

"I'm sorry. I know you're not on staff anymore and I've got no business asking. But we've got a photo shoot at noon. Is there any way you could come by?"

Theo had been decent to me since the day I started. Last night he'd walked me all the way to my dorm door.

I dragged myself out of bed.

The uniforms were in the back corner of the equipment room, under a tarp, exactly where I'd put them.

I was hauling the stack into my arms when Sloane walked in and held out her hands.

"Theo said to give them to me once you found them. You're not staff anymore. Technically you shouldn't even be back here."

I didn't have the strength to fight her. I just dumped the stack into her arms.

She clearly hadn't expected the weight. Her knees buckled, and she went down in a pile of jerseys.

She looked up at me with wounded eyes. "Seriously? You let go before I had them!"

The door banged open.

Jace.

He took in the scene in one glance: Sloane on the floor, me standing over her.

"She's trying to help you," he snapped. "And you're bullying her?"

I laughed. I couldn't help it. "She lost her balance. How is that on me?"

Sloane caught his sleeve. Her voice was small.

"Don't be mad at her. I took her job. Of course she hates me." She winced and touched her ankle. "I think I twisted something. Can you drive me to urgent care?"

Jace looked at me.

I had never seen that look on his face before. Like I was someone he'd never met and didn't much like.

"Someone this petty," he said, "has no business around this team."

Over his shoulder, Sloane caught my eye. She didn’t look hurt anymore.

A couple of the guys had drifted in behind him. They saw Sloane on the floor and me standing there with empty arms. I watched their faces decide.

Jace scooped Sloane up.

"And the Bahamas tour this summer? Theo's taking Sloane in your spot." He was already heading for the door. "Call it payback. You owe her."

He didn't look back.

I didn't chase him. I didn't argue. I took out my phone and texted my dad.

Remember the donation you made for the team’s Bahamas tour? Please pull it.

Jace still had no idea.

The trip everyone called a team perk? I was the one who'd asked my father to pay for it.

I'd never owed anyone anything.