Chapter 5 THE KISS

Jordan's pov

His mouth was on mine before I could even think.

For one second, maybe two, I didn't move. His hand was still wrapped around the back of my neck, his lips hard and desperate against mine, and something deep in my chest, something I hated, wanted to lean into it.

Then my brain caught up with my body.

I shoved both hands into his chest and pushed him off me so hard he stumbled back into his dresser. A lamp wobbled and nearly fell.

"What the hell was that?!" I snapped, wiping the back of my hand across my mouth like it would erase what just happened.

Caleb stood there, chest heaving, his red eyes still glowing faintly in the dark. He looked just as shocked as I felt, like his own body had betrayed him without asking permission.

"I don't know," he said. "I don't know, okay? It just happened."

"It just happened," I repeated flatly. "You grabbed my neck and stuck your tongue down my throat, and it just happened."

"I didn't use tongue."

"That's what you're focused on right now?!"

Caleb dragged both hands down his face and let out a long, ragged breath. "I'm freaking out here, Jordan. In case you didn't notice."

"You think I'm not?" I hissed, jabbing a finger at his chest. "I've been standing here half the night listening to you scream about how you're not gay, and then you go and kiss me. Make up your damn mind."

"I don't have a mind to make up! That's the whole problem!" His voice cracked on the last word, and for a second he looked less like the Alpha heir who terrorized the ice rink and more like a scared kid. "My wolf doesn't care that you're a guy. He doesn't care about anything except you. He's been screaming at me for a week straight, and I can't turn him off."

"Then reject me," I said again, flat and cold. "I already told you. It's simple."

"It's not simple!"

"It is! You say the words, the bond snaps, and we both go back to hating each other in peace. Problem solved."

Caleb's jaw locked. He crossed the room in two steps, close enough that I had to tilt my head back to keep looking at him. "You really want that? You want me to reject you?"

"Yes."

"Say it like you mean it, then."

I opened my mouth, and nothing came out.

Caleb's mouth curved into something that wasn't quite a smirk. "Yeah. Thought so."

"Don't read into it," I snapped, stepping back. "I just don't feel like getting rejected by an idiot who can't even watch two seconds of a gay movie without gagging."

His face went red. "How do you know about that?"

"I don't. I just guessed. Thanks for confirming it."

"You're such a…" He cut himself off, shaking his head, pacing a tight line in front of his bed. "This is insane. This is actually insane. Twenty years of hating your guts, and now my wolf wants to mark you. Mark you. Do you get how messed up that is?"

"I get it fine. I'm the one who has to hide a body part from an entire pack, remember? I think I win the messed up contest."

"That's not the point."

"Then what is the point, Caleb? Because you dragged me in here, locked the door, and now you're just pacing around like a lunatic. What do you actually want from me?"

He stopped pacing. He looked at me for a long moment, his chest still rising and falling too fast.

"I don't know," he admitted. "I don't want to reject you. I know that much. I've waited my whole life to find a mate, and I'm not throwing it away because the Moon Goddess has a sick sense of humor."

"So what, you're just going to keep me locked in your room forever?"

"Maybe."

"Move," I said, walking straight at the door.

Caleb didn't move.

"Caleb. Move."

"No."

"I swear to the Moon, if you don't get out of my way—"

"What? You'll hit me? Go ahead. Wouldn't be the first time."

I glared up at him, my hands curling into fists at my sides. He didn't flinch. He just stood there, blocking the only way out, watching me with those red eyes that made my wolf go quiet and stupid inside my chest.

Caleb's jaw tightened, but he didn't argue. For a second, neither of us said anything. The only sound in the room was both of us breathing too hard.

Then he stepped aside.

I didn't wait to see if he'd change his mind. I yanked the door open and walked out fast, my boots hitting the hardwood floor harder than they needed to. I didn't look back at him. I didn't trust myself to.

I took the stairs two at a time, past the second floor, past the main hall, and shoved the front doors open into the cold night air. The rain from earlier had stopped, but the ground was still soaked, and the air smelled like wet leaves and mud.

I kept walking until the pack house was far behind me, until the only light left was the moon cutting through the bare branches overhead. My chest was still tight from the binder, and my knuckles still ached from the tree, but none of that mattered right now.

What mattered was getting as far away from that room as I could.

"Stupid," I muttered to myself, kicking a rock out of my path. "Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why did I let him grab me like that? Why didn't I hit him?"

My wolf, who had gone eerily quiet since I ran out of his room, suddenly stirred.

Mate, she whispered, faint and dazed. Mate close. Mate wanted us.

"Shut up," I muttered under my breath. "He doesn't want anything except to feel less crazy."

He kissed us.

"That doesn't mean anything."

His mouth was warm.

"I said shut up!"

I picked up my pace, cutting off the path and heading toward the tree line, needing the trees to swallow me so I could stop thinking about his hands on my neck and the way my whole body had gone still instead of fighting back like it should have.

I made it maybe twenty more steps before my legs buckled underneath me.

It came out of nowhere, a hot, sharp pull low in my stomach, like someone had reached inside my ribs and yanked. I gasped and grabbed onto the nearest tree trunk, my nails digging into the bark.

"What—" I choked out, doubling over.

The pull came again, stronger this time, dragging a strangled sound out of my throat. My skin felt too tight, too hot, like my whole body was trying to twist itself in a direction I didn't understand. Sweat broke out across my forehead even though the night air was freezing.

Mate, my wolf howled, no longer faint. Mate. Bond. NOW.

"No," I gasped, sinking down onto my knees in the wet dirt, both arms wrapped around my stomach. "No, not now. Not out here."