Chapter 3

Our eyes met across the crowded café, and I saw the exact moment everything changed.

He'd heard me. He'd heard me tell Sera there was no one. That there was nothing.

The confusion in his eyes shifted to something that looked like hurt. Like disappointment.

"There's really no one," I'd said. Not five minutes ago. Right in front of him.

I watched his face close off, watched him turn away and focus on his phone like he hadn't been looking at us at all.

"Lia?" Sera's voice seemed to come from very far away. "Earth to Lia. Who is he?"

I turned back around so fast I nearly knocked over my coffee cup. My hands were shaking.

"I don't... I have to go," I said, grabbing my purse.

"Wait, what? You can't just leave when there's a gorgeous man right there! Come on, at least introduce me—"

"I really have to go, Sera."

I was already pushing past chairs and apologizing to other customers, heading for the door as fast as I could without actually running.

I couldn't look back. I couldn't see the disappointment in Ryan's eyes again. I couldn't explain why I'd lied when the truth was so much more complicated than a simple yes or no.

Outside the café, the cool air hit my face and I realized I was shaking.

Ryan thought I'd lied to him. He thought whatever we'd been building meant nothing to me.

And the worst part? I couldn't even blame him for thinking that.

I walked back to my office building on autopilot, my mind spinning. Three weeks ago, Ryan had stayed late to help me fix the disaster that was the Morrison presentation. He'd ordered Chinese food and we'd eaten it straight from the containers while rebuilding my entire pitch deck.

"You're brilliant at this," he'd said, watching me reorganize the data. "I don't know why you doubt yourself so much."

The way he'd said it, like he really meant it. Like he saw something in me that I couldn't see in myself.

Two weeks ago, he'd brought me coffee without being asked. Not just any coffee, but the exact order I always got from the café downstairs. Oat milk latte with an extra shot and just a touch of vanilla syrup.

"How did you know?" I'd asked.

"I pay attention," he'd said simply, and the way he'd looked at me made my stomach flip.

Last week, when I'd been stressed about the Henderson account, he'd found me crying in the supply closet. Instead of pretending not to notice, he'd sat down on the floor next to me.

"Bad day?" he'd asked.

"The worst," I'd whispered.

"Want to talk about it?"

And I had. I'd told him about my imposter syndrome, about feeling like I didn't belong in marketing, about being afraid I'd never be good enough. He'd listened to every word.

"Lia," he'd said when I was done, "you're already good enough. You're more than good enough."

Then yesterday morning, the way he'd almost kissed me. The way he'd looked at me like I was the only person in the world who mattered.

And I'd just thrown it all away.

Back at my desk, I stared at my computer screen without seeing anything. The Morrison account was due tomorrow, but all I could think about was the hurt in Ryan's eyes.

My phone buzzed. A text from Sera.

What was that about? You totally ran away! And who was that man? He was GORGEOUS! Call me back! 💕

I turned my phone face down and tried to focus on work. But every time I heard footsteps in the hallway, I looked up hoping it was Ryan. Hoping he'd come to my desk like he had every day for the past month.

He didn't.

At 6 PM, most of the office had cleared out. I was still at my desk, pretending to work but really just hiding. I didn't want to go home and face Sera's questions. I didn't want to explain why I'd panicked.

My phone rang. Sera's name flashed on the screen.

I considered not answering, but she'd just keep calling.

"Hey," I said, trying to sound normal.

"Finally! I've been calling you for hours. What was that whole dramatic exit about?"

"I just... had to get back to work."

"That was so weird, Lia. But anyway, I've been thinking about what we talked about earlier. About me finding a job." Her tone shifted to something lighter. "Do you think your company might be hiring? I mean, I have my marketing degree, and I've got experience..."

"I don't think—"

"Come on, it would be perfect! We could work together again, like old times. And I could finally meet this mystery man of yours properly."

My blood went cold. "Sera, that's not a good idea."

"Why not? You said yourself there's nothing between you two. So if that's true, then you won't mind if I apply, right?"

The question hung in the air like a trap. Because what could I say? If I said no, she'd know I'd been lying. She'd know Ryan meant something to me.

"Actually," Sera's voice got that thoughtful tone that always made me nervous, "since you're obviously not interested in him romantically, and he's clearly single and available... would you mind if I asked him out?"

The words hit me like a physical blow.

I opened my mouth to say no. To tell her the truth. To finally stand up for myself after eight years of this.

But the words wouldn't come.

"I..." My voice cracked. "I guess... if you really want to..."

"Oh my god, thank you! You're the best friend ever!" Her excitement made my stomach turn. "Oh, and could you maybe put in a good word for me about the job? I really think your company would be lucky to have me."

I closed my eyes. "Sure."

"Perfect! I'll call you tomorrow to figure out the details. Love you!"

The line went dead.

I sat there in the empty office, surrounded by the ghosts of every conversation Ryan and I had shared. Every smile. Every almost-moment.

Nine times. This was going to be the ninth time.