Chapter 39

“The girls asked if they could come over today and see the cat.”

Derek’s texts have slowly grown more personal instead of professional. I’m feeling anxious of course, but that’s just because I am starting to wonder what he’s seeing when he looks at me.

I don’t mind being kind to his daughters. I don’t even mind his thoughtful, kind texts encouraging me to smile. What I’m scared of is misreading not only his intentions but also the friendship he’s continued to display.

“What time?” I text back before the group chat with Lily and Annie going off at the same time.

“Girl, are you even alive?”

It’s clear Annie is asking me.

She sends another text.

“Radio silence isn’t a good look for you, Esme.”

I roll my eyes. “So nosy.”

Lily responds this time. “Ah! Ghost!”

“Ha-ha,” I retort back, sending the eyes rolling emoji.

“Are you actually dying, though? We’re genuinely worried.” Lily again.

“I took a few days off, is that a crime?” I’m about to call them both and insist they stop medaling in my life and enjoy their own.

“That depends.” Annie’s second message comes quickly after the first. “You never take off, so you must be sick.”

“Or I’m pregnant?” I shoot back.

“You know what, that’s fair, I might have forgotten that already,” Lily says, sending laughing emojis at her own mistake. “Are you okay?”

“Swollen legs, some spotting. Mostly I’m just worn out.”

Annie’s text comes in this time. “Because besides your boss you work harder than anyone in the world.”

“I resent that!” I tease.

“So does that mean hot next door neighbor who’s also your boss has been wearing you out?” Annie taunts.

Lily answers. “Annie, just because you assume they’re sleeping together doesn’t mean they are. Esme would never sleep with someone while pregnant, she’s too paranoid.”

“You realize I’m in this chat, too.”

“You can have sex when you’re pregnant, Lily.” Annie types back, seemingly annoyed.

“I think that’s honestly irresponsible. You don’t know what’s going to happen with that sex when you’re with child!” Lily’s text seems to be screaming at me.

“If you two are done, I have Bea and Tris coming over.”

“So that means Derek, too?” Annie sends, Lily quickly sending a couple of exclamation points as if to approve of Annie’s meddling.

“I still think they’re dating in secret,” Annie adds.

“I’m not dating him; I’m in the middle of a messy divorce. When would I have the time?!”

Lily sends laughing emojis before her answer. “At the office.”

“I’m leaving, goodbye ladies.”

I put my phone on silent and return to my texts with Derek to see what he’s said.

“An hour work?”

“Sounds good.”

I sit up in bed, stretching out. I’ve been alternating icing and heating my legs to help with the swelling, and so far, that and the dizzy feelings have started to back off. The morning sickness, however, is still holding on like its life depends on it. “I’ll let you know when we’re on our way,” Derek types back.

Does he think we’re anything other than coworkers? Or friends/neighbors? My mind has kept jumping back to his offer to massage my legs while at work.

The problem is that it can be seen as super sweet but also inappropriate for the workplace. And considering what happened just a few days earlier, I’m shocked to hear him offer to help me in a way that involves that kind of touching.

I pull myself out of bed to another text. Guess I’m popular this morning.

It’s a text from Daniel, my lawyer.

“I know it’s the weekend, but just letting you know things are set in motion. Meant to text you Friday but got busy. Ryan’s lawyers have the paperwork, and now we’re just waiting on that.”

“That’s great, Daniel, thank you.”

“Of course. I hope you’re having a good weekend, what have you been up to?”

First, I have Ryan divorcing me, then that douchebag Ken touching me, then Derek acting odd and offering to massage me, and now I have Daniel intermixing personal questions to me with information I need for the divorce.

I have continued to tread lightly with all of this because the last thing I want is to lead the man on or anger him by not reciprocating his feelings. The last time he was here, I felt his heart trying to leap out of his chest to tell me he loves me.

I might make mistakes and be stupid sometimes, but I’m not that stupid.

So, without getting too specific, I text him back.

“Just relaxing. You should be, too! Thanks for the update, talk to you soon.”

It’s a safety net, in all honesty. I don’t know what the hell is in the water lately, but I’m about ready just to swear all men off once and for all. If it means feeling somewhat at peace in my own life, then it’s what I may do.

Derek has been different, though. And I don’t think it has as much to do with my trauma as I’d like to believe. We’re both grown, and I know he’s looking out for me.

The question is, how much is he willing to do before I hurt him, or vice versa?

“Hi Miss Esme!” The girls say in unison when I open the door for them.

“Hi girls!” I sing-song back. “How are you, I haven’t seen you in a bit!”

“Daddy said you were sick!” the younger sister states. “We wanted to bake you cookies, but Daddy couldn’t help us.”

I look back up at their father, who rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “Honestly, that’s all on me. They thought the cookies would help, but Tris is right, I was too busy.”

“You were also here at one point,” I remind him, letting the girls in so they can go find Sammy to play with him.

“Ah darn, I’ve been had,” Derek replies, half a smile growing on his face.

“Well, since I figured out your scheme, come in and sit at the table with me.

So, while Bea and Tris pet and talk to Sammy in the living room, we sit down at the table together. I want to offer him something to drink, maybe even some type of snack. But the truth is, the last thing I want right now is to take extra energy to get some water or juice.

“How’s the swelling? You able to get it to go down?” he asks, to which I nod emphatically.

“Yes! And it’s calmed down, so that’s all I was hoping for.”

He nods at me, barely taking his eyes off his girls and my cat, who is watching me, with a sour expression on his face. He seems to ask if I like torturing him, which to be honest, is a fair assumption as to why he’s mad at me, at least for today.

“The girls been behaving?” I ask, using a softball question to get the attention off of me.

“Oh, of course not. They run around my house all day breaking furniture and smearing paint all over the wall. What nightmares.” He winks at me, and I notice the girls are watching us now.

“Daddy, don’t lie to Miss Esme!” Bea demands.

“Daddy doesn’t think we’re good?” Tris asks, looking like she might cry. So much for Derek’s joke.

“No, your dad and I both know you’re very good,” I assure them. “He’s just being sarcastic.”

“What’s that?” Tris asks.

“When you’re sarcastic, you say things you don’t mean. So, for example, I asked your dad if you behave, and he used a specific tone in his voice and facial expressions to indicate that what he was saying wasn’t true.”

“Is that supposed to be funny?” Bea sounds incredibly curious.

“This is why I tell them to look up the word in the Dictionary,” Derek deadpans. “Then I can read that definition and explain it better from there.”

Nodding at Derek, I turn back to the girls. “Hear that you two? Your dad is teaching you how to solve problems.”

“He just said we’re bad, though!” Tris whines.

I look from the kids back to their father, seemingly unsure where to go from this point.

Derek stands, hands in the air. “Alright, don’t worry about it. Why don’t you guys show me how to say hi to the cat?”

At that moment, my phone starts to ring, and I see Daniel’s name splayed across the screen. Not wanting to cause a scene, I tell Derek I have a call from my lawyer, and I’ll be taking it in my room. The girls and my boss don’t really respond, going on petting my cat.

Well, at least Sammy knows now that many people love him.

“Hey, what’s up?” I sigh into the microphone, but Daniel’s voice immediately seems worried.

“I don’t know why they got back to us on a weekend, but your husband’s been sneaky to say the least.”

I furrow my brows. “Gonna need more information than that,” I insist.

“He’s been racking up his debts! It’s so substantial that at this point, he’s expecting your money to cover it once the divorce is finalized.”

I roll my eyes. “That’s not too surprising.”

“He’s going to take your money, Esme. Every penny he possibly can, before he runs off with his mistress and starts a whole new life with her.”

I feel my neck itch but ignore it. “He’s already gotten her pregnant. Why does he think he can take my money? What about his own?”

Daniel is quick to answer. “You make more. He and his lawyers think that justifies a fifty/fifty split. So, since you already left the house, now he’s going to take as much money as he thinks he should get.”

“And that much is?”

“More than your bank account records.”

I swear I’m seeing red now because that’s the only explanation for what Daniel’s just said. Seriously? As if he hasn’t taken enough from me?

“He’s going to regret that,” I say in a low voice into the phone. “He thinks he’s going to take me down? Looks like he messed with the wrong damn woman.”

As we plan the next few weeks, I find myself growing slightly concerned. This anger that I’m holding onto and getting back at Ryan with is not like me.

Who have I started to become?