Chapter 48

“I’ve never been over here before,” I tell Derek as we enter the daycare. Bea and Tris run off to join their teacher and classmates, bringing a smile to my lips as I watch.

“Well, last I checked you don’t have a kid to put into daycare,” he shoots back with a teasing tone in his voice.

“I meant this part of town, obviously.” I stick out my tongue as he pushes against my arm.

We put the entire conversation about psychiatrists and my trauma on hold for a few days. Derek hasn’t asked me if I’ve made any decisions just yet. Which I’m grateful for because it’s been an internal struggle.

I wonder if the trauma resurfacing is making everything ten times harder. It’s odd because in the past, whenever I thought about or heard about traumatic events, nothing ever came from it.

I’d just continue on with my day. No tears. No memories.

No pain.

Now, it seems like the universe won’t go five seconds without reminding me of what I’ve been through.

“Oh, forgive me, is it my job to read your mind now?” Derek teases, wiggling his eyebrows like a worm.

For my part, I burst into laughter without even meaning to, which causes a few heads to turn in our direction.

“Stop!” I whisper-shout, pushing his upper arm. “You’re causing a scene!”

“Pretty sure I wasn’t the one who just exploded with cacophonous sounds,” he shoots back.

“Do you have some type of calendar that shows you new words of the day? I swear you’re always sounding more and more like an eighty-year-old literature professor.”

“I am insulted by this comparison!” Derek gasps, mouth falling open. “I’m at least seventy!”

Rolling my eyes, I shake my head and turn away from my neighbor. He’s been doing his best to make me feel a little less broken inside, and I’m still ever grateful.

I’ve told Derek I want to take the girls out for ice cream after the show, so long as that’s okay with him. His smile radiated a genuine warmth that I feel I haven’t seen in many people for years.

“Hey,” Derek says, catching up to me. He looks down as we walk and surprisingly, his face blushes just a smidge. “The girls are really happy you’re here tonight.”

We reach the snack table on the left side of the room, and I look around for something that won’t upset the baby. Seems like most food I eat these days ends up back in my toilet before I’ve really digested.

I wave my hand. “Are you kidding? Your girls are everything I’ve ever wanted with kids. I admire Bea’s tenacity, even at only seven. And Tris has a laugh that always makes my heart warm and fuzzy.”

“And they like Sammy when you come over and play games with them and how much you care for them.”

“Well,” I shrug, grabbing a brownie. “I’m their fun neighbor, not their mom.”

However, I wouldn’t mind if that became my title in the distant future.

He taps his chin, studying me instead of the snacks. “You’re the first woman in their life that hasn’t been around for the sole purpose of dating me. I think they see you as a mother figure regardless.”

Now it’s my turn to blush. “I’ve wanted kids for so long. It feels like I’m finally getting an idea of motherhood because of them.”

“If it means anything,” he starts, leaning in so that I can hear him while he reaches for a cupcake. “You’re incredible with them.”

If I could blush harder, I’m pretty sure I’d be beet red right now.

I open my mouth to speak, but become distracted when a familiar face catches my eye. My jaw hangs a moment as I watch him, confused by what he’s doing here, and how this is happeing.

“Oh God,” I mutter. Derek, for his part, follows my gaze to Daniel.

“An ex?” He questions, and I see his entire body strain for just a second. Is he…puffing his chest out? Like a fucking bird?

“My lawyer.”

His bushy brows raise so high I worry they might get stuck in his hairline.

“The one you told that you have a new relationship because he has feelings for you?”

“The same, yes,” I nod, just as Daniel’s eyes find mine across the room. “Oh God, what am I going to do?”

“Never fear, your fake boyfriend is here.”

“Derek, no, I’m not asking—”

“I’m doing it anyway.”

“Esme!” Daniel cheers, coming up and offering a hug while other adults in the room shuffle around. “What are you doing here?”

I look back at Derek, who watches Daniel intensely. “I’m here to see the talent show.”

“Oh, really? Who do you know in the cast?”

“Bea and Tris Anderson.”

His smile widens. “Aw, they’re friends with my niece, Harley!”

Derek’s body becomes straighter. I don’t know if it’s because he is standing next to me and I have been learning to pick up on his moods, or if it’s because he is looking over this man that just so happens to be the only lawyer I could get.

My heart is screaming in my chest right now. The two men have on smiles that could cut glass. And yet, I have no idea what the right thing to say is.

“I heard you’re Esme’s lawyer,” Derek finally starts, breaking the ice and reaching out his hand. “I’m Derek.”

“Are you the new boyfriend, then?” My lawyer seems to say that with something hidden behind the words. But Derek, for his part, doesn’t seem to notice any of it.

Wanting to move past this conversation, I vigorously nod my head. “Yep, that’s him.”

The two shake hands. “I take it you know the hell she’s been enduring then?” Daniel asks my boss.

“She’s a trooper. Plus, my girls love spending time with Esme, so it’s a good fit for everyone.”

“Well, that’s great,” he replies, and Daniel’s smile grows so wide that I know he’s lying through his teeth. Literally.

“My girls are the best judge of character. I don’t know where they get it from at such an early age,” Derek goes on, one arm slinking around my shoulder as he talks. “But Esme is the first person since their mom that they really like.”

I move, pushing my shoulder into his chest as my own heart threatens to explode everywhere. “Oh, stop it, Derek!”

“Well, she is truly a spectacle,” Daniel agrees.

We don’t have a chance to say anything further, because one of the daycare teachers calls us all to sit in the rows of chairs.

“Mind if I sit with you both?” Daniel’s words throw me off.

Derek, however, acts as if he’s been born ready for this fake boyfriend role. “Of course. Any friend of Esme’s is a friend of mine.”

Since when??

Who even is this person?

The teachers announce each act that steps up on stage. Like the girls told me, they end up singing a Disney song to the entire room.

I’m not too surprised they’ve chosen the popular song from Moana. I’ve heard that song everywhere since the movie came out.

Bea and Tris are so cute in their little Moana costumes, singing and dancing together on the stage in front of everyone. It melts my heart even further, as if that is possible.

As the show goes on, however, I do notice Daniel glancing over at me on a multitude of occasions. I feel exposed as he looks at me. What am I supposed to do?

It seems like Derek has thought this through, because he legitimately holds my hand throughout the entire show. Even when an act is finished and we’re supposed to clap, he slaps his leg instead of letting go.

He’s playing his role with intense seriousness.

After the entire performance is over, and we’ve given all the kids standing ovations, Derek goes to collect the girls while I wait against a wall. Daniel doesn’t hesitate and comes up to me.

“They were great,” he nods toward the make-shift stage.

“Your niece was adorable in her little cat costume!” I tell him honestly. “I haven’t thought about Aristocats in so long, I forgot about the songs.”

“She’s the best,” he admits, smiling.

Wanting to make things a little less tense, I end up blubbering out an apology to Daniel.

“Why are you sorry?”

“It’s just, you’re my lawyer. I don’t want to hurt you in any capacity, and I know you have feelings for me that I just don’t reciprocate back. I didn’t know you’d be here tonight, and it just felt as though I’ve shoved Derek in your face.”

He looks from Derek back to me, that boy-next-door vibe growing stronger as he studies me. “I’ll be fine. I’m a big kid, I know how to continue working with someone.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Mad? No. But I also know that pursuing someone while they’re my client was probably not the smartest move.”

So, does this mean he’s not going to keep hitting on me?

“We’re okay then?” I ask instead.

“I’m not pushing you to make any romantic decisions right now. I’ll wait until after we win our case. It’ll be better that way.”

He really doesn’t want to give up on me. And yet, it feels wrong.

“Miss Esme!” Tris cheers and hugs my leg. “Did we do good?”

I smile automatically down at the younger daughter. “You were excellent. And if your dad is okay with it, I think I know where we should head next!”

I make eye contact with Derek, who smiles and nods his head at me. But I know Daniel is still there.

So, I turn back once more. “I’ll talk to you in a few days?” I question.

He blinks, which makes me wonder if he was lost in his own thoughts. “Hm? Oh, yes, yes. I’m going to go find my niece. Have a good night, all.”

As he walks away, Derek gives me one more serious look. But right now, I’m not interested in my court cases or knowing what my lawyer is thinking.

“Who wants ice cream?” I ask the young girls, and they both become quickly excited at the prospect.