Chapter 60

“How did you even find out about this?” I demand, so lost how this is even possible.

“So, you don’t even bother to deny it?” He scowls.

“Three people know I’m pregnant; how could you possibly know?”

He glares at me, no answer now that I’ve called him out. To my horror, my brain starts to put the pieces together, and my throat and heart just fall to the ground at my feet.

“Have you been stalking me?!”

“Even if I was, you can’t prove it.” He crosses his arms as if to threaten me further.

I cover my mouth, tears burning my eyes, and trembling setting in.

“Oh, grow up, Esme! You’re the one telling lies. You think that restraining order is going to stop me? I’ll sue you for custody of that baby. I’m its father!”

“And I’m its mother!” I spew back, angry with how this man continues to treat me. “In no world do I want you near my baby!”

“Our baby. You really think you can do this without my help? You couldn’t even get pregnant before. Now all of a sudden, you’re walking around carrying a baby!”

“You cheated on me, fucker! You accused me of sleeping with my boss!” I could punch this fucking traitor in the face.

“And if I didn’t know for a fact that was my baby in there, I’d have a stronger case against you in court. So, consider yourself lucky, Esme, because you thought everything before was a shitstorm? It’s going to get much worse.”

I breathe out, my hands going to the top of my head, stretching out my arms while holding my head. “You’re absolutely unhinged. I can’t believe you’re doing this.”

“Esme? What’s going on?”

Lily and Annie appearing next to me makes my jump. Annie looks from me to Ryan, and her eyebrows lower. “What the fuck?”

“Oh, great, you have your posse as your backup! Let me guess, they knew the whole time?”

“Why are you even here?” Lily growls. “Doesn’t Esme have a restraining order against your dumbass?”

He rolls his eyes. “You really think a piece of shitty paper is going to do anything?”

“I’ll call the police then!” Annie snaps back.

“I dare you, you whores.”

Everything is starting to grow fuzzy against my skin. This man, standing in front of me, demanding rights that he’ll never deserve. Calling me a liar, expecting me to give him anything?

My fists are clenched at my sides. My fuzzy skin moves to a fuzzy brain.

For some reason, the only person I wish was here to help defend me lives right next door. Maybe he’ll hear the shouting. Maybe he’s not even home.

“You’re not going to keep me from my kid!” Ryan says again.

Lily shoves my shitty partner away from me and my door. “Where do you get off with all of this? You treat Esme like she’s nothing, but you walk around thinking you’re high and mighty?”

Ryan gets in my friend’s face. “Mind your goddamn business, slut.”

“Keep calling us these degrading terms,” Annie huffs, rolling up her right sleeve. “Any excuse to punch you square in the face.”

“You’re begging to get yourself arrested,” he spits back.

“You broke the restraining order. Under the law, that’s going to land you behind bars, fucker. Punching you in the face is self-defense. And I’m pretty sure Lily and Esme here will back me up.”

“That restraining order is such a joke! You know that a piece of paper isn’t going to keep me from my property.”

Lily slaps him in the face. “Oops, sorry, Ann, didn’t mean to take your thunder. It was just a reflex.”

He doesn’t even react. “None of this is any of your business!”

“You’re trespassing and threatening someone who has a restraining order! How is this not our business, clown?” Lily demands, looking ready to slap him again.

Please come interrupt us, I keep thinking as the three yell at one another. I know it’s not the right thing to do, and I know I’m the one pushing him away. But Derek has always pushed back harder.

He’s the one who’s saved me more times over than I can count.

This apartment, at the pool, with my trauma, all of it. Without Derek, I would have completely fallen apart; unraveled in the office or my kitchen floor.

His door remains shut next door. No movement, and no Derek.

I don’t know what’s breaking my heart more: Derek or Ryan.

“I’m calling the police on this psycho!” Lily’s shrill voice cuts through my mind, stomping back into the apartment.

Annie, clearly riled up and over Ryan’s bullshit, finally does what she’s been promising. She pulls back and with only one shot, she punches my husband in the face.

Ryan yelps, falling to the concrete ground, covering his nose while screaming, “You crazy bitch! You broke my nose!”

“You’re lucky I didn’t break an arm or leg! I can add your precious dick to your broken body parts!” Annie gets mad, sure, most people do. But this anger? I’ve never even seen Annie kill a bug, let alone break a man’s nose.

“Yes, her ex-husband has shown up again. This is not the first time this has happened; she’s had a restraining order on him for weeks!” Lily is yelling into her phone. “Send a cop! He’s violating the law again!”

She hangs up, though I don’t think that was exactly the best idea.

“Oh good, did Annie finally punch your loser, stalker self?” Lily spits.

Ryan gets himself up, groaning. I remember when he attacked me while I was with the girls. When I tried to keep them safe.

And I remember my childhood, and the sounds that used to echo through the house as I hid, eyes closed and ears covered. I tried to convince myself that everything was fine, it would be okay, I was safe.

But I wasn’t then. And in truth, I’m not safe now.

Ryan looks right at me. The anger is coming to a boil. Not only is he bleeding hard, but his face has turned a matching shade of red.

“You’re naïve,” he says, spitting blood at my feet. His snarl grows, blood drenching his teeth and sweat encasing his forehead. “I put up with your bullshit for long enough. If you think in any way, I’m going to let you get away with this, then you’re in for a treat, bitch.”

“Give up, Ryan!” Annie groans.

“No!” He jabs a finger in her face, which she slaps away. Then, he takes a step closer to me, getting in my personal space. Lowering his voice so that only I can hear, he huffs a laugh through his teeth.

“I swear to God, you’re going to regret all of this. I swear that baby will be mine. You will never get custody. You will never see that baby. I promise you. I always get what I want.”

Lily shoves him away from me. “You don’t get to threaten her!”

The police sirens start to scream from nearby, Ryan noticing that he’s very well about to be caught.

“I’ll be back. I always come back.”

He spits again, this time it lands on my cheek, before he runs off, holding his nose as he goes, disappearing around the corner.

I stay frozen in my spot, where I still haven’t said a word. I’m covered in his spit and blood.

That doesn’t matter, I guess. My tears are crowding my eyes, shivers going up my spine.

“Come on, babes. Let’s clean you up. The cops will be here any minute.”

I hear what Annie is saying, but I’m stuck in my spot. Instead of following her, my body finds the wall behind me, before I collapse to the ground, breaking down in tears as Ryan’s threats really set in.

My baby. My life.

He’s going to do whatever it takes to leave me with nothing.