Chapter 61

The police have been through the apartment and have spoken to us individually. While Lily and Annie went inside, I’ve been out here.

I can’t move off this stoop. I’m frozen to the spot, and even if I wanted to move inside, I don’t know if my body would let me.

“Esme?” I look up at one of the detectives. “Is there anything else?”

I bite my lip, tears still continuing to stream down my face. “Like what?”

“Can you give me the name of your divorce lawyer? I’m going to personally look into all of this.”

The detective—Mars Mattison—has been patient and kind since he got here. The other officers and detectives have mostly ignored me, moving inside and asking my best friends questions.

I nod once, searching my brain. “Uh, yeah, my lawyer’s Daniel Banner. Part of Frederickson, Dawson, Larson and Williams.”

He types this into his phone. “I have a buddy who can give me a hand with this. That restraining order isn’t a joke. We’re going to put these pieces together, I assure you.”

I nod a second time. I take in a deep breath as well. “Okay.”

He hands me a business card with his information on it. “Call me if you have any questions.”

Lily and Annie finally come out of the house to sit with me.

“Hey honey,” Lily coos as she pulls me into her arms.

Annie, though, looks at Detective Mattison. “Have you found that bastard?”

He shakes his head. His hand goes to the back of his neck, where he scrubs at it and his hair. “As I just explained to Esme, we’re going to start looking into it all.”

“Are you putting out an APB?” my friend questions.

“We will be,” Mattison says back with a nod.

“Good.”

“Maybe you should leave someone here to keep an eye out for Esme?” Lily’s voice is stern, and while my friends love to bicker and taunt me, I know they’re doing what they believe is best for me and my safety.

Mattison sighs. “Unfortunately, we don’t really have the manpower right now. We’re stretched thin around the city. If I could sit here and guard you myself, I’d do it. But our captain won’t sign off on that.”

I sniff, wiping under my nose. “It’s fine,” I assure him.

“It’s not fine, Esme!” Annie snaps back. “In no world is any of this seen as ‘fine!’”

“There’s nothing he can do!” I argue. Pushing things further is just going to create even more of a stupid, ugly mess. The last thing I want to do is keep going in circles.

Lily, thankfully, grabs our friend’s arm. “Esme could always stay with you and Guillermo? Then at least someone would be with her.”

Annie rolls her eyes, exasperated. “And put her where? Our couch doesn’t exactly give off comfortable home vibes these days. Why not stay with you and Pedro?”

“Because Pedro’s family is coming in and they’ll all be staying throughout the place.”

I’m not worried about the two of them taking me in. In truth, I wouldn’t even go if they were begging me. “I’ll just stay here.”

“I don’t like the idea of someone not being around in case your shitty husband decides to return to the scene,” Annie growls, looking around at the cops for any help.

“I’ll lock the door. Maybe shove a chair under the handle so he can’t get in.”

Annie groans. “Don’t like the thought of that, either.”

“Well, we have to make do with what we have.”

Lily lets go of me, and the two women seem realize how stubborn I’m being. “There’s an APB, there’s cops informed of the situation, there’s the restraining order. There’s nothing left for us to do,” I finally sigh out. I wish my tears would stop falling, though. This is getting pathetic.

Just as I’m wiping at my face and nose again, I see two little blurs coming toward me.

“Miss Esme!” Bea and Tris sing together, running up to me on the stoop.

They both hug me, and for just a second, I close my eyes and hold them like they’re my own girls.

“Are you okay?” Bea asks first.

“Why are you crying?” Her sister adds.

I smile at the girls, though the tears still haven’t stopped. “I’m okay. Just had a…rough day.”

That’s when Derek finally comes walking up.

“Girls, come on. Don’t bother Miss Esme,” he says sternly.

Tris, to my surprise, shakes her head at her father. “Miss Esme is sad! She needs hugs!”

The four-year-old grabs me again, squeezing me to make this hug meaningful.

“Daddy, aren’t you worried?” I always forget just how smart and clever Bea is. Her face is crestfallen, and I can tell she’s trying to put pieces together in her mind. “Miss Esme could be hurt.”

Derek’s eyes shift to me, and instantly, more tears start to pile themselves in my eye. It’s like someone ripped my heart out of my chest before stomping all over it. His eyes seem neutral, like he couldn’t give a shit.

“Are you hurt, Esme?” He asks, stiff and clearly unnerved to be having this conversation surrounded by police, my best friends, and his daughters.

I don’t blame him.

“I’ll be okay,” I say, half-heartedly.

“Was it that man from before?” Bea’s caught my attention again, and I whirl to face her.

“What?”

“The one who came to our house?”

My eyes leap over to Derek’s, trying to communicate my panic to him. He doesn’t have to care about me, but I do worry about Bea and Tris and their safety. The last thing I want is for Ryan to hurt them, too.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I end up nodding. “It was the same man.”

“Is he going to jail?” Tris asks me, having somehow ended up sitting in my lap on the stoop.

“I’m not sure yet, sweetheart. There’s still a lot to do.”

Mattison bends down to the girls. “You two protect Miss Esme?” He asks with a sly smile.

“She’s the best!” Bea smiles.

Tris begins to clap her hands. “Miss Esme is our friend!”

I nod, smiling at their sweetness. “And you both are my friend. But I think your dad needs to get you two home. Go with him, okay? I’ll be fine, just a bad day.”

Tris doesn’t argue, but Bea waits a couple long seconds before she, too, goes back to her father.

Derek only nods once before the three of them disappear behind their door.

“Next time you’re going to drop someone like Derek, maybe wait until after your ex-husband is taken into custody,” Annie mutters.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright here?” Lily snaps over Annie, trying to look sympathetic. I appreciate it, but there’s nothing we can do.

Not to mention I feel like I’m in an awkward spot right now after having seen Derek.

“I’ll manage,” I say honestly.

But I still want to talk to my boss. Even if it’s just to get these emotions off my chest, I’d be happy. I’m the one who pushed him away, though. I don’t have a reason to talk to him.

I made my bed. I have to learn to lie in it.