Chapter 64

Working from home is a little easier than just getting through the day. I got permission to stay out of the office for the rest of the week. Getting lost in the information and phone calls is better than brooding over my ex.

Friday is busy, but having taken time off, I blow through all my notes, calls and meetings.

“I’m sorry for the stress you’re going through, Esme,” one of my boss’s voices in our meeting. “We were beginning to worry the quality of the work may suffer.”

“And I understand how that can come across,” I assure her.

“Are things better now? Have they calmed?”

“Unfortunately, no. I’ll continue to give you 120 percent, but with the lawsuits on all fronts, I imagine things will get worse before they get better. One can only hope that some good luck comes my way in the meanwhile.”

She sighs. “I understand. Well, we’re going to continue perusing the lawsuit against Max. And the internal investigation? I think that’ll be wrapped up soon as well.”

A smile forms across my lips. Finally, something going right.

“Thank you, ma’am.”

With a beep, I hang up, a huge sigh of relief filling my body.

Good. This has been an absolute nightmare.

I sit down on the couch, letting out a long, cool sigh. My arms rest on my stomach, and I think about the baby inside of me.

“You’re coming at a truly strange time there, little one,” I muse, smiling more at the idea of this baby being here. “I can’t wait to see you.”

A knock on my door comes at that moment, and I jump a bit in surprise. Who’s here in the middle of the afternoon on a Friday?

I get up cautiously, realizing that it could be Ryan waiting for me. So, I clench my phone tight in my grasp. Bringing up 911, I get ready for the possibility of my ex coming after me.

I take a few steps, trying to see out of the window in the front of the apartment. But once I get close, I see that the person outside isn’t my ex.

The tall man checks his watch, pulling up his sleeve on his suit. I know this man anywhere.

“Derek?” The door opens to him, and he gives me this soft, heart stopping smile. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

It’s a long moment of quiet, just staring up at the handsome man’s brown eyes. Feels like it’s been so much time since I’ve seen him, but it was just a few days.

“Can I come in?” He asks gently, his eyebrows raising just a bit.

“Oh, God, sorry, yes.” I move, gesturing so he can join me inside. “Want some water? Or anything else?” I’m still a bit anxious to have him here, but I do feel warmer and much more comfortable.

He waves off my questions. “It’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

I grab a water for myself anyways. “Everything okay? Nothing needed at the office?”

“Oh, no, everything is okay.” His tone is assuring, but something else is still hiding behind what he’s giving.

“I did finish those reports and also spoke to some of the people at Gimble earlier today.” I point to my paperwork, going up to the work I’ve left sitting out on the table. “Let me show you—”

Derek stops me, grabbing my arm as I move to go past him. I freeze in place. My eyes move to his hand grasped around my muscle. Then it moves down his arm to his chest. It takes a moment to make it to his eyes above me.

“I’m not here for work.” His touch falls away.

“Then what’s up?”

Derek bites his lower lip before he speaks, lost in his own thoughts. “I’ve been thinking about you…all week. I can’t get the image of you sitting on the stoop out of my mind.”

I swallow, the dry feeling not going away at these words.

“Ryan’s just the worst,” I murmur.

“Are you okay, Esme? I realize you’ve asked me to back off, and I understand and only want you to succeed, but that shouldn’t come at the expense of your safety.”

“Derek. I’m safe. For now.”

He raises a brow just a bit. “What happened here? Why did Ryan show up, I thought there was a restraining order.”

“There is. He’s been avidly avoiding it and the police when they try to serve him!”

“Can…can they do that? Just avoid the police? I thought the whole point of one of these was no contact, no issues.”

I sigh. “If you can’t issue the order, then legally, there’s nothing you can do. So even though he’s been harassing me, showing up at my house, all of this? He’s still able to get away with it.”

“Bullshit,” he sneers.

I get into everything, explaining Ryan’s appearance earlier in the week, the way it’s impacted me, and the work that the detectives are putting in around the clock to help me. Derek listens intently, his own anger beginning to shine through as I keep going.

“I’m waiting for the detective to let me know of any changes happening in the case, if they need any information, or anything else.”

“And they’re going to do their jobs and help?”

“Seemingly,” I reply, shrugging. “But it’s only been a few days.”

Derek looks around the apartment, like he’s trying to find a specific object. Without returning his gaze with mine he says, “Bea’s birthday is next week. She’s been begging me to invite you, asks if I’ve talked to you every day.”

He finally meets my eyes, giving me a timid smile. “I didn’t have the heart to tell her what I was actually doing.”

“Listening to what I’d said,” I fill in the gaps.

“Will you come? I know your stance on everything going on, but my daughter’s birthday must be something you could—”

“Yes.”

He’s taken aback.

“Really?”

“I wouldn’t miss Bea’s birthday for the world.”

Derek scrubs at his hair, surprise still taking form on his face.

“Well, great. There will be other people from work there, too, so plenty of people to socialize with. I know Bea and Tris will be thrilled that you’re there.”

Is…Derek nervous? He’s talking more than I’m ever used to him doing.

“That’s nice. As long as everyone’s civil, I think it’ll be a nice party.”

He nods a few times, but he looks very stressed.

“Derek?”

“Hm?”

“You seem like…what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he shrugs too fast for my liking.

“Clearly something is. Am I right to assume it has to do with our conversation in the office over the internal investigation?” I cross my arms. Am I the one making him nervous?

He sighs, frustrated.

“Okay. All that stuff I said, trying to downplay the place we’re both in right now? That was stupid of me. Obviously, we’re not just coworkers. You know so much about me that my own mother doesn’t know. Even things Annie and Lily don’t know.”

“Esme—”

“No, wait, let me finish,” I interrupt, holding my hands up to stop his words. “I would rather not push away one of the best things I’ve found since the night my entire world came crashing down a few months ago.”

Derek watches me with a trace of something hiding in his expression.

“I enjoy your company. I love spending time with your girls, getting to watch them grow into this world around them, and to have a person who doesn’t attempt to push away every feeling—whether good or bad. And so what if there’s some stupid investigation? You’re important to me, and no stupid investigation is going to stop that.”

“Esme.” He doesn’t push with his use of my name, but it does leave a huge crater in my stomach.

“Derek, I—”

His phone begins to ring, taking the wind out of my sails.

“Shit. I have to take this.”

“Go, do your boss duties,” I tell him, keeping everything inside.

“Are you sure?”

“Derek don’t miss a call. Just let me know what Bea wants for her birthday. Then call it all even.”

Disappointment wipes across his face.

He answers the phone. “Hang on, in the middle of another conversation, don’t hang up.”

He mutes the microphone and stands there, making me think there’s a chance of everything finally beginning to piece together.

Instead, he lowers the phone.

“Bea will love whatever you get her. Just remember she’s still my little girl.”

I just nod, knowing the time has slipped away.

“Got it.”

Derek heads for the door, but as he puts himself back on the call, he does a small turn to get another look at me.

It takes everything in me not to cry or beg for him to stay.

“I’m sorry, too. For Ryan.”

That’s it. He’s out the door, and I’m back alone in my apartment all over again.

Shit.