Chapter 83

A whirlwind picks up around my life, and soon, it’s been over a month since Ryan lost in divorce court. As the days rush by me, I finally begin to show under my clothes. I’m heading into the second trimester, and while some symptoms have lessened, cravings become my newest hurdle.

My coworkers and friends continue to press me once they realized I was pregnant. “Is it a boy or a girl?”

I shrug each time. “It’s healthy, that’s all I care about.”

Some people laugh it off, but others continue to tease me. It’s all in good fun, I know that. Now that Ryan’s no longer part of my life, I’ve actually begun to heal from the trauma I’ve been through.

“It’s a good escape,” I tell Annie and Lily one night. We’re eating pizza and have some reality TV show on in the background.

“A good escape? How is work an escape?” Lily fake gags.

“Not everyone hates their job, Lily.” Annie throws a balled-up napkin at her.

“I just mean, with Ryan gone, with no pressure on this divorce, and no people around who are looking to ruin everything I’ve built, I can get lost in the work I do again.”

Lily snorts. “Gross.”

“Okay, well, it’s great that you’re enjoying work again, Esme. Where does Derek fit into all of this?” Annie asks, putting down her crust on her paper plate.

“Ugh, finally, I’ve been itching to talk about your sexy boss!” Lily’s eyes grow wide as she and Annie stare at me.

I blink a few times. There’s been nothing. It’s remained what it’s always been.

“We’re neighbors. The girls have been helping me take care of Sammy, and Derek checks in on how I’m doing mentally. Which, I might add, I think any boss would want to keep tabs on.”

“Boring.”

“You really need to lock down that man, Esme. Have you not seen those glittering eyes? He looks at you like you’re hung in the MOMA.”

Annie furrows her brows at Lily’s words. “A weird comparison to make, but okay.”

“Guys,” I insist, not wanting to tell them about what happened when Derek walked in on me pleasuring myself. “If he wants to be with me, he’ll tell me.”

“And what about what you want?” Lily folds her arms.

“What I wanted was to get out of a toxic marriage and not lose everything I’ve worked so hard for. Do I hold some admiration for the man who helped save me from falling down that path? Yeah. But I won’t sit here and push him to reciprocate feelings.”

“Lame.”

I scoff at my two best friends. “Let me do things at my pace. I’ve had enough excitement the past five months.”

The girls finally change the subject, but I put my hand on my ever-growing stomach and think of Derek’s smile reflecting down on me.

At work the next day, I’m in a meeting with some of my other co-workers, discussing our past quarter.

“Esme, your work with Mr. Anderson and Gimble has sent numbers through the roof,” my coworker Jen claps.

A smile breaks out on my face. “I wouldn’t have been able to work with Gimble and Mr. Valentino Pent without Mr. Anderson.”

“Well, I’m sure Jackson, Paulson, and Pomperio are glad to have your talents here,” a newer male coworker, Theodore Brightman, nods. “You’ve certainly made an impression with all of us who just joined.”

“I promise that it took a long time to get here.” I laugh into my hands.

“Well, regardless, I know to come to you for any information I might need. Within the company, or not.”

Is…is Theodore flirting with me? It feels like it’s been years since someone looked at me like that. Only, Daniel wasn’t very long ago. And ever since Derek fired him, I haven’t heard a peep from him.

But Theo is sweet, and I can’t deny his good looks. That dark hair and hazel eyes are genuinely enamoring. However, at that moment, Derek walks by the conference room, and my eyes fixate on him.

Still as sexy and confident as ever. He’s speaking to another man, so he doesn’t see our group.

I’m grateful for that—he doesn’t know I’m staring longingly at him.

Another colleague jumps in. “Has anyone heard what happened with Max?”

My attention pulls back in. I haven’t thought about Max and Ken Marcy in weeks.

“They just filed for bankruptcy, right?” Theo asks.

“Yes! It’s so strange. They were huge just a few months ago.”

“I heard it was because of that bastard that sexually assaulted someone in this office,” Jen tells the room. Her eyes look around. “They fired him, and word spread around. They lost all their clients in two weeks.”

This is news to me, and I widen my eyes at this revelation.

I have to bring this up to Derek. Does he know any of this?

“Good riddance. If they hire men who sexually assault others in this line of business, they deserve to lose it all.”

In order not to appear suspicious, I raise a brow. No one knows I was the one who was assaulted. “Didn’t Jackson, Paulson, and Pomperio file a lawsuit against Max?”

“I can imagine they’ll have any money to settle that,” someone states, shrugging.

Theo laughs. “At this rate, Max will have to sell their stocks, or even their office just to be able to settle!”

I can’t help but snort and laugh with everyone else.

When we all break to get back to our separate work, Theo cautiously approaches me.

“Esme?” He is timid, which is a nice change of pace from all the other men lately in my life. “I just wanted to introduce myself, I don’t know if you got my name?”

I hold out my hand. “Theodore, right?”

“Just Theo is okay,” he smiles, shaking my hand. “I had heard around the office about your success, and I just want to say, you leave some really impressive shoes to fill for the rest of us.”

I smile, brushing some blonde hair from my face. “Well, thanks, Theo. I promise, just work hard. I enjoy what I do, and I love succeeding even more.”

“I don’t want to be too forward or anything, but is…would you be interested in possibly getting a drink?” His hazel eyes widen. “Oh, wait, I uh, I was told by Jen you’re pregnant, sorry, I just meant…fuck, I’m really messing this up.”

My heart skips a beat. Because every guy has pushed me. But Theo’s just…sweet and clearly caring.

He takes a deep breath. “Would you want to grab a bite after work this week?”

“Oh, wow, I guess I didn’t expect that. Uh, can I have some time to think about it?” Now I’m the one with the widening eyes. “Sorry, let me clarify. I just got a divorce last month. Things have been…hectic for me.”

He waves his hands in front of him. “No, I totally understand. I’ll admit part of my reasoning is to pick your brain, but fuck, divorce is hardcore. Of course, take your time, I get it.”

Theo hands me his business card with his number on it. “Let me know either way? And if you’d rather just remain coworkers, I hope you’ll still let me talk with you about your role here sometime.”

Theo heads out the door just as Derek rounds a corner, this time alone.

I can’t help a genuine smile melt onto my face, heading toward my boss.

“Did you know about Max going bankrupt?” I ask him without preamble.

Derek seems surprised by my words. “They did?”

“Wonder how they’ll be able to continue that lawsuit.”

“I’m surprised my bosses haven’t said a thing. But we’ve been busy, so it’s to be expected, I guess.”

He nods for me to keep up with him.

“Bea and Tris have been doing a good job helping out with Sammy?” He asks, typing into his phone before sliding it into his pocket.

“Oh, yes, they’ve been great. Thank you for letting them help. I can’t believe I’d forgotten about toxoplasmosis.”

Derek raises a brow. “The disease found in cat droppings, right?”

I nod. “Can affect the pregnancy. Glad I haven’t shown any symptoms.”

“Well, the girls are happy to help. Now they’re double asking for a cat.”

“Oof,” I chuckle. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. They’re very cute about it,” he smirks.

We enter Derek’s office, and I half-expect him to immediately close the door. Instead, he offers me to sit and goes around to his chair.

Confused, I just sit.

“You had your quarter report with the others today, right? I know the Gimble case has lit up the boards lately.”

He knew about the meeting? But he didn’t even look over at us when he walked by.

“Uh, yeah, it went well. Some of the new hires are impressed with taking on such a big company.”

Maybe I should tell Derek that Theo asked me out? Would that make him fight for me? Finally think about the timing of us?

“So Max is bankrupt, the Gimble deals have been incredibly beneficial, and you have two little girls cleaning up after your cat. Guess it can’t get much better, huh?”

“It’s certainly been a lot easier of a month, that’s for damn sure.”

I bite my lip. I have to get this out. I need to rip off the bandage. I want to be with Derek, but there’s something inside my chest that is telling me to try with Theo. He doesn’t know anything about me, just that I’m pregnant.

And would it kill me to go on one date?

“One of the newbies asked me to dinner.”

The sentence is out before I can think.

His head, which had fallen to his laptop, slowly returns to face me. His brown eyes almost burn into my skin.

“Did you say yes?”

My breath hitches. No fighting? No begging me not to go?

“I uhh, said I’d think about it.”

Derek’s expression is impossible to read.

“You know, with the divorce and everything, I have to debate if there’s any reason that I should say no.” My boss just continues to keep eye contact with me.

Jump in. Fight for me. Tell me not to go.

Give me something, Derek.

But no words come from him. Not even a break in his expression. So, we sit silently for almost a full minute.

Finally, no longer able to bare the silence, I stand up quickly. “Maybe I should go. What do I have to lose? I’ve got to move on at some point, right?”

I brush my hair behind my ears and head to the door. “I’ve got to get back to work. Tell the girls I say hi.”

Rushing from his office, I move toward the bathroom to recollect myself.

Derek had his moment.

And he didn’t even try.