Chapter 381
Nina
Too soon.
Enzo’s question hung in the air after he uttered those words, and it felt like a knife had twisted itself in my gut. “Too soon?” I managed, my voice hardly more than a whisper. “What do you mean? That you regret it?”
he shifted uncomfortably, avoiding my gaze. “I just mean, everything happened so fast between us. We met, got together a few months later, then got married, and now there’s a baby on the way. It’s a lot, Nina.”
“So what?” I felt a sharp sting in my chest. “Are you saying you regret it?”
“No, I didn’t say that,” he quickly clarified, but his hesitation had already sown a seed of doubt in my mind.
“But it sounds like it, Enzo,” I pressed, feeling a surge of emotion. “It sounds like you’re having second thoughts about us, about our family.”
He ran a hand through his hair, a sign of his frustration. “That’s not what I meant. I love you, Nina. I love that we’re going to have a family. I just wonder if we moved too quickly, that’s all.”
I felt a mixture of anger and sadness churning in my stomach. “Moved too quickly? Enzo, we’re werewolves. We have fated mates. It’s not like we’re a normal couple who dated for years before settling down. This is how our lives are meant to be.”
“Yeah, but just because we’re werewolves, it doesn’t mean we don’t have choices,” Enzo countered. “We could have taken more time, gotten to know each other better.”
I scoffed, feeling a bitter taste in my mouth. “So you’re saying that what? You wish we had dated longer? That we didn’t get married? That I wasn’t pregnant?”
“No, Nina, don’t twist my words,” Enzo said, his tone growing sharper. “I’m just trying to say that maybe we should have considered our options more. That’s all.”
“Our options?” My voice rose in pitch. “What options, Enzo? The option to not be with your fated mate? The option to not have this child?”
He sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’re not getting what I’m saying. I’m just trying to have an honest conversation about our relationship.”
“An honest conversation?” I laughed, but there was no humor in it. “This doesn’t feel like an honest conversation. It feels like you’re questioning our entire relationship.”
Enzo’s expression hardened. “I’m not questioning our relationship. I just… Hell, I don’t know. I guess I’ve been wondering what it would have been like if we had just given ourselves a chance to just… date each other first. But it’s not that I regret anything.”
I scoffed. “Well, that’s what happens when you start a relationship in the midst of a war. We were trying to survive, not go on dates. And for the record, you’re the one who proposed to me.”
“I know that, Nina,” he replied, his voice growing weary. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t have these thoughts, these questions. It’s natural to wonder what if.”
I felt my heart clench. “What if what, Enzo? What if you hadn’t met me? What if we weren’t together? Is that what you’re wondering?”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” Enzo said, his frustration evident. “I just wonder if we had taken things slower, would things be different? Would we be different?”
“Are you unhappy with how things are, the way they are now?” I asked. My voice cracked ever so slightly, and I had to look out the window to hide the blush that was creeping into my cheeks. The hotel started to come into view.
Enzo looked at me, his eyes softening. “No, I’m not unhappy. I love you, Nina. I love our life together. I just... I don’t know. I’m just trying to process everything.”
I shook my head, feeling a mix of sadness and anger. “I just don’t understand what there is to ‘process’ right now. Our marriage? Our child?”
He took a deep breath, as if trying to find the right words. “I just think we need to make sure we’re on the same page, that’s all.”
“On the same page?” I repeated, feeling a sense of helplessness. “I thought we were on the same page. I thought we were in this together.”
“We are, Nina,” Enzo insisted. “But we also need to be honest with each other, about our feelings, our fears.”
“My fears?” I felt a surge of emotion. “My only fear is losing you, Enzo. And right now, it feels like I’m doing just that.”
Enzo reached out to me, but I pulled away. “Nina, please, let’s not do this. Let’s not argue.”
“But we are arguing, Enzo,” I said, my voice trembling. “Because you’re questioning everything we have, everything we are.”
“That’s not what I’m doing,” Enzo said, his voice filled with a mixture of sadness and frustration.
“It sure feels like it,” I replied, feeling tears well up in my eyes. “It feels like you’re questioning our entire life together.”
“We just need to communicate better, that’s all,” Enzo said, his voice softer now.
“Communicate?” I scoffed. “This doesn’t feel like communication. This feels like you’re doubting us, doubting our future.”
Enzo looked at me, his expression pained. “I’m not doubting us, Nina. I just want to make sure we’re both happy, that’s all.”
“I was happy,” I said quietly. Tears threatened to spill, and it was all I could do to blink them away before that happened. “I still am. But now I’m wondering if you aren’t, if this…” I paused, looking down at my belly, where a little life was taking root. “If this whole pregnancy thing is what you actually want.”
Enzo sighed as he pulled into a parking spot. “I’m sorry, Nina,” he said gently. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel that way. I am happy, I’m just… I don’t know. I guess I’m still figuring it out. Everything seems so up in the air.”
“Well, you only have so long to figure it out,” I murmured. “This baby is coming sooner or later, and both of us need to be on the same page. So if you don’t want this life with me, then you’d better tell me now.”
“I do want this life with you. I love you, Nina. More than anything.”
I looked at him, my heart aching. “Then why does it feel like you’re pulling away from me?”
“I’m not pulling away,” Enzo insisted. “I just want us to be sure, that’s all.”
“Sure of what?” I asked, feeling a sense of desperation. “Sure of our love? Sure of our future together?”
“Yes,” Enzo said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Sure of everything.”
I felt a tear slip down my cheek. “Well, I was sure, Enzo. I was sure of us. But now... now I don’t know.”
Enzo reached out to me again, but I pulled away, feeling a sense of overwhelming sadness. “I need some time, Enzo. I need to think.”
“Nina, please,” Enzo said, his voice filled with pain. “Don’t do this.”
But I couldn’t stay there, not with all these doubts and fears swirling in my mind. I climbed out of the car and walked into the hotel. Enzo didn’t follow me; not right away, at least. And once I was finally alone in the elevator, I finally allowed that tear that I was holding in to slip down my cheek.
