chapter 2

I went to the mall to buy something to wear to interviews.

For years, I'd hardly bought anything for myself.

Daniel's custom suits got more expensive every year. Leo went through pair after pair of skates. I always said I didn't need anything.

A sales associate handed me a light gray suit.

When I put it on and looked at myself in the mirror, I barely recognized the woman there. My life, it turned out, didn't only belong to aprons and the kitchen.

But at the register, after the cashier swiped my card, she stopped.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. This card has been deactivated."

I stared at her. "Deactivated?"

"Yes. The primary cardholder changed the authorization."

For a moment the whole checkout area went quiet. I'd never been so humiliated.

Just then, a soft female voice came from behind me.

"Are you still getting this outfit?"

I turned around. A woman in a white dress was standing there.

I knew her the second I saw her. Vivian.

The first love Daniel swore he'd "lost touch with years ago."

She stepped forward, slid a card from her wallet, and handed it to the cashier. "Use this one."

When the receipt printed, I saw the last four digits on it.

The same account as my card. The main one.

I just stood there. I didn't even have the energy to be angry. Daniel had moved everything that should have been mine over to her.

Vivian picked up the shopping bag, turned to me, and gave me a flawless smile. "Claire, right?"

I didn't say a word.

She acted like she'd just remembered something. "Daniel's mentioned you. He says you keep the house running perfectly."

I looked at the bag in her hand. "He's mentioned you too."

For a split second, her smile stiffened.

I ignored her, turned, and walked out of the mall.

Outside, I called the bank right away. The customer service rep told me the authorization on my card had been changed two weeks earlier.

The day before Leo started school.

A message popped up on my screen. It was from Leo: I want roast chicken for dinner.

I stared at those words for a long time, then replied: Ask your dad to buy you some.

Almost instantly, Daniel called. "What's that supposed to mean? Your son just wants you to make him dinner."

I stood at the bus stop, my voice perfectly even. "Doesn't he like having someone else take him to practice better?"

There was a silence on the other end that lasted several seconds. "Who's been feeding you this nonsense?"

"Nobody. Either way, I'm not cooking tonight."

Daniel's voice went hard. "Don't take it out on the kid."

I hung up.

That night, I had a plate of pasta at a little restaurant. When I got home, the living room light was on, and there were takeout boxes on the table.

Leo was on the couch. When he saw me, he frowned. "You seriously didn't cook?"

I set down my bag. "Looks like you ate anyway."

"This takeout is disgusting."

"Then next time tell your dad to order something more expensive."

Daniel came out of the study and looked at me. "Where were you today?"

"Interviews. Shopping."

He glanced at my empty hands. "So where are the clothes?"

I let out a soft laugh. "Somebody else paid for them."

His face froze.

Leo looked up at his dad, then quickly, guiltily, looked down.

The last little shred of hope I'd had went up in smoke. Leo knew everything.

Daniel took a step toward me. "Claire, I can explain about the card."

I moved away from his outstretched hand. "Don't bother."

"What do you want from me?"

"I don't want anything." I looked at the leftovers on the table, my voice quiet. "From now on, what you eat, where you go, who you see, you don't need to tell me."

Leo threw down his fork. "Are you ever going to stop?"

I turned to him. "You two lied to me for an entire summer, and you're asking me if I'm going to stop?"

He looked like someone had grabbed him by the throat. He didn't make a sound.

I didn't look at either of them again. I went into the bedroom and locked the door.

From then on, I stopped making breakfast. On the third morning, Daniel finally lost his patience.

"Claire, that's enough."

I was putting on my shoes by the door. "I have another interview today."

Leo stood in his doorway with his hair sticking up and yelled at me, "Then what am I supposed to eat for lunch?"

I glanced at him. "Ask your dad."

Then I walked out the front door without looking back.

For the next few days, Daniel behaved himself.

He stopped going out so much. He came home for dinner. He even started asking about Leo's practices, which he'd never done before.

It was as if he'd only just remembered he was a husband and a father.

On Friday night, he suddenly suggested, "Let's go up to a cabin in the mountains this weekend, stay two nights. It's been forever since the three of us really relaxed together."

Leo's eyes lit up. He looked at me hopefully.

I nodded. "Sure."

Daniel visibly relaxed.

That night, after his shower, he came into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. "Claire."

I closed my laptop. "If you have something to say, say it."

He reached out to touch my shoulder. I turned away.

"Can we stop being so cold to each other? Please?"

I looked at him and felt a deep, heavy exhaustion. "It's late. I want to sleep."

He looked embarrassed. "I'm your husband."

I looked at him evenly. "Oh, you remember that?"

He shot to his feet, grabbed his jacket, and left. After the door slammed, Leo poked his head out of the next room. "Did Dad go back to the office?"

"Go ask him yourself."

He pouted and ducked back into his room.

On Saturday morning, I'd packed and was ready to go when Daniel called. "Something came up with a project. We can't go today."

"Where are you?"

"At the office."

"And Leo?"

He hesitated. "At home."

I walked to Leo's room. It was empty. His sports bag and his jacket were gone.

"He's not home."

There was a pause on Daniel's end. "He probably went out to get something to eat."

I didn't say anything else. I hung up.

Twenty minutes later, Leo texted me: I'm at the library with a friend.

I wrote back: Which friend?

It was a long time before he answered: You don't know him anyway.

I went to the window and looked down. Daniel's car was stopped at the intersection. I hailed a cab and followed it.