Chapter 106

I stay quiet in passenger seat as Archer drives the car toward the dinner event. In the backseat, Mia mumbles softly to herself, apparently oblivious to my doom and gloom and the tension that is now thick in the car between Archer and me.

He kissed me. He hasn’t kissed me since way back when, before he pulled all the way away from me, leaving me high and dry and confused as all hell.

But now he kissed me again.

It can’t mean anything, of that I’m certain. He only swooped me up against me to rattle Neil. I am absolutely unhinged to believe that Archer had any other intentions.

But the kiss. It was so nice.

Passionate and hot, and everything I remember being with Archer to be. If he didn’t hurt me… If he stayed with me instead, and we continued with our whirlwind romance…

I sigh without meaning to. Maybe I’m hoping I can push some of the heat of those thoughts away from me.

Should have, could have, would have.

It serves exactly zero purpose to think about what might have been. The facts are that Archer kicked me to the curve, and I can’t do something as self-destructive as forget that.

Especially now that Neil’s doing the same thing.

These Hayes brothers are actively trying to kill me through repressed horniness. But I have to learn to deal.

Yes, the kiss was unbelievably hot, just like all the times we were together. It was hot with Neil too.

But guess what? All of it was one-sided.

Archer, Neil… They never cared about me the way I foolishly let myself care about them. If only I could remember that, instead of throwing myself at them every time they bat an eyelash in my direction.

I am a grown-ass, independent woman, for fuck’s sake. Not some vulnerable, bashful little impressionable thing.

“The sooner you forget about Neil, the better it will be for everyone,” Archer says, his voice loud in the otherwise quiet car. He doesn’t mean to shout, obviously, but his voice still startles me enough to jump in my seat.

He gives me a flat, sideways glance.

I try to play it cool. “Don’t worry,” I say. “I’ve halfway forgotten about him already.”

Archer’s eyes narrow with suspicion, and yeah, okay, maybe I tried to oversell it a little. But it’s no less true!

“I’m serious,” I say, realizing too late that emphasizing that makes it seem less true. No, if I want Archer to believe me, I have to cut to the quick. “I’m eagerly looking forward to the day I can forget all of you.”

My end date isn’t all that far away now. A month or so.

Archer’s hands curl tighter around the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. He should be happy to hear me say something like that, but honestly, right now, he looks even more pissed off than usual. His face settles into a glower, like he’s half-ready to set the whole world on fire.

If I didn’t know better, I might say something foolish like, What? You going to miss me?

But I know that’s impossible, so I keep my mouth shut.

Archer’s all growly when he says, “Just focus on Mia tonight.”

“I know why I’m here.” Neil made it perfectly clear that my only job tonight is Nanny. If it was for any other reason, I would have faked sick by now.

I sure as hell don’t want to watch Neil propose to Angela.

I sigh again, and Archer turns his glare on me.

Clearing my throat, I turn and look out the window so I don’t have to see his eyes on me. Unfortunately, I can still feel the weight of his gaze.

Guy should really focus on the road.

I’m not about to call him on it, so I say nothing and keep looking out the window.

Eventually, and I have no idea how I know this other than I vaguely feel it, he looks away from me.

The drive feels like it takes forever, but eventually we pull up outside of the event. It’s located in a fancy restaurant that I’d only be able to stay in if I hit the lottery.

Paparazzi line the sidewalks out front, flashing photos and shouting. They haven’t seen us yet.

My stomach twists. Please don’t see me in the car with Archer. I don’t want to end up on some social media accounts, blasted for daring to sit too closely to one of the Hayes gods.

“Let me go first,” Archer says. “I’ll draw their attention away. Then you and Mia sneak in behind me.”

“What about the car?” I ask, because right now, he’s parked in the middle of the road.

He either doesn’t hear me, or doesn’t pay attention. He smoothly exits the car and saunters toward the paparazzi. One spots him and then they all do. Everyone turns then and so many cameras flash so quickly and so brightly, that I’m blinded for a moment.

My vision clears when a valet has approached the car.

I move quickly then, coming around to the side of the car, and retrieving Mia from her car seat.

With Mia in my arms, Archer’s plan works. He successfully distracts the cameras and crowds, while I walk Mia straight on through into the hotel. A bellman holds open the door for us.

Just before entering, I turn and glance at Archer. He’s not alone in the camera lights. All of the Hayes brothers are there, standing tall and proud and beautiful.

They are in their element here, under all the attention. They look so cool, totally in control. Even Steven knows how to properly angle his face to catch the best lighting.

They are mouthwateringly gorgeous, the kind of guys that girls would hang posters of on their walls. Wildly, I wonder if such posters exist. Maybe for rich girls, the Hayes are those kinds of celebrities.

I don’t know. I wouldn’t know.

I didn’t grow up here. I had no money. If Mom hadn’t married into it, I would go on living my life blissfully unaware of these four devastatingly handsome men so near to me yet so terribly far away.

Seeing them like this, surrounded by paparazzi and adoring fans, I feel a pang within my hollow chest.

If they look this way, how would I appear to them?

They are cast in bright lights. I’m standing in shadow.

I feel cool, remembering how much I don’t belong beside them. I am like a leech, a hanger-on. I follow along behind them, waiting for them to cast scraps of attention in my direction.

I have no idea when I became so pathetic. So desperate.

Because I like the scraps. I want more.

I want to be wrapped up in Neil’s arms, or feel Archer’s lips on mine. I want Beau to tease me. I want Steven to sit beside me as he tutors me. I want to hear him occasionally tell me, “Good job, Chloe.”

Or any of them to say…

Good girl, Chloe.

Our good girl.

Impossible as that is. As much as it makes me hate myself.

I shake my head. I’m not any of their girlfriends. I’m not even a friend, really.

I’m the Nanny.

Mia squirms in my arms, reminding me of my purpose.

Finally, I’m able to pull my gaze away from them and walk inside.