Chapter 141

When I get back to the Pyramid, I’m still feeling a bit down. I can’t really help myself. I accept Mia back from Archer, and he watches me with a probing gaze. But he doesn’t say anything, so neither do I.

Even Mia can tell that I’m feeling depressed. Her own expression crumples. I try to fake a smile for her, but she sees straight through it.

In the living room, I place her down in her play pen before she can feed on enough of my sad energy to start crying. Beau is sitting in the corner of the L-shaped couch, playing on his phone. I slump down onto the couch and try my best to ignore him.

There’s a moment’s quiet, where Mia plays with her toys and I rest my eyes a moment.

Then Beau says, “Stop that.”

I peek open my eyes to see who he’s talking to. He’s looking right at me.

“Stop what?” I ask. I wasn’t doing anything.

“Your misery is radiating off of you in waves. It’s distracting.”

“I have emotions,” I say.

“And they are loud.”

I roll my eyes. “Go somewhere else, then.”

“I was here first.”

I sigh. I’m too tired to argue. I start to stand up.

“What are you doing?” he asks suddenly.

Standing, I turn toward him. “Clearing the air of emotions for you.”

“I didn’t tell you to leave. I told you to stop it.”

Like I can turn my sadness on and off like a light switch. Shaking my head, I turn from him and reach for Mia.

“Wait.”

Suddenly, Beau is beside me. He appeared so fast, that I startle. His arms shoot out and he catches me around the waist before I can fall. My hands fall onto his chest, and through his too-tight shirt, I can feel the hard plain of his toned chest. He’s stronger than he looks. He’d held me up so easily before.

My cheeks burn hot, remembering the feel of his tongue on my breasts, and the way he pounded me against the wall.

Beau’s annoyed expression gives way to playful curiosity as he watches me. “Look at that blush on your face. I wonder what you could possibly be thinking of.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I snap, even as my cheeks burn hotter.

He leans down. I hold my breath as his mouth goes very near to my ear.

“I bet I can guess,” he says.

If he talks about that night aloud, I might implode.

Fortunately, at that moment, Steven saunters into the room. Beau and I jump apart, but Steven seems utterly oblivious. He’s holding a book, and glances up only when he nearly walks into the playpen and notices Mia within it.

“Oh. Hello, Mia.” He looks at Beau and me. “Beau. Chloe.”

“Steven,” Beau says.

“Hi, Steven,” I say.

Beau returns to his corner seat, and I sit nearest Mia. Steven takes the seat on the other side of the couch.

“Do you mind if I watch television?” Steven asks. He closes his book and places it beside him. “There’s a show I want to watch.”

“Please,” Beau says.

“It’s fine,” I say.

Steven picks up the remote and turns on the television.

I glance at Beau and find him staring openly at my breasts. A zip of pleasure shoots through me. I haven’t forgotten his praise. It’s exhilarating now, knowing he’s still thinking about them.

Maybe he’s thinking about our intimate moment together as well.

I shift so that I’m pushing my breasts out farther. Beau continues to stare.

My mood immediately lifts. Beau is a good distraction. Maybe it wouldn’t be so terrible to pursue a friends with benefits situation with him after all.

He would at least keep the blues away. And maybe pump up my self-esteem.

If Beau, who was basically a connoisseur of breasts, thought mine were the best, I could believe him.

After receiving a text from Angela to hang out again, we agree to have dinner together at a restaurant Angela thinks of as quaint, but which I know still prices out half the population. Still, I give her props for effort. She’s clearly making an effort to rebuild bridges between us.

I don’t want to be mad at her. I like her, and she’s one of my few allies around her.

I show up to dinner ready to forgive. She’s already there and we hug at once, with no hesitation, before we even say hello.

“I thought you’d still be mad,” she says.

I’ve given this plenty of thought since she told me that she planned on using Neil’s illness as an attempt to break the engagement. And though, I still find it distasteful, I can’t deny her practicality. And I can’t fault her for living the way she’s been raised.

The world of Angela and the Hayes’s is so different than what I’m used to. I feel like I’m playing catch up all the time.

We sit and order, and after our typical pleasantries, How are you, Fine, Angela asks me, “How is Neil?”

I know she cares about him, even with everything going on, so I tell her. “I don’t know. He says he’s strong enough to withstand the pain.” I’m afraid to tell her more. I don’t want to get involved in their potential breakup. If she finds out how much I’m involved, would she use me against Neil too?

I like Angela, but I’m afraid of her practicality now. I hate it, but I have to watch myself around her.

“Oh, good,” Angela says. “Neil doesn’t just say things. If he tells you he can withstand it, then he can.”

I nod. I still don’t know what to believe. Neil is going through so much pain, just to keep me around. It doesn’t seem right.

I’m eager to change the subject. “You haven’t been around the Pyramid lately,” I say. I know she and Beau aren’t seeing each other anymore, but I’d gotten used to occasionally having another woman around.

She hums. “Things have been tense between Neil and I. We’re friends, but what do we even talk about now? If we do have to spend the rest of our lives together, I’d hate to run out of topics already. Better to hold off for a while.”

I don’t understand that at all. Neil is fantastic. How could anyone possibly run out of things to say to him?

Though maybe if I was being forced to marry someone, I wouldn’t want to spend time with them either.

“How are the other brothers? Are they doing well? I haven’t seen them since the proposal.”

Is she asking about Beau? She said before they don’t have feelings for each other, but…

I hate how the doubt makes me feel tangled up inside. I shouldn’t be jealous of Angela, but how could I not? She’s engaged to Neil and could so easily fall into bed with Beau.

Meanwhile, I’m an outsider warned time and again that I don’t belong.

“They’re doing well,” I say.

Angela narrows her eyes at me. “You aren’t telling me something,” she says.

Gods, she’s perceptive! I school my features.

“Did something happen with one of them?” She studies my face. At my hesitation, she adds, “Why wouldn’t you want to tell me…? Oh.” She blinks and it’s like a lightbulb went off in her mind. “Is it about Beau?”

My cheeks burn and her eyes go wide.

“Chloe,” she asks. “Are you fucking Beau?”