Chapter 160

As much as I want to stay with Neil in the hospital, we can’t keep Mia in the daycare forever.

“I can drive you and Mia back to the Pyramid,” Beau offers. “And we can take shifts here.”

I feel stronger since my hug with Archer, but I still hesitate to separate from Neil. I side-eye him where he’s resting upright in his bed. He meets my gaze with a knowing look.

“Go home, Chloe,” he says. “I will rest much better knowing you and Mia are there.”

I can’t argue with that. Especially because Mia deserves to be at home, safe and sound. Not caught in a nursery daycare.

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Archer says from where he’s leaning against the wall.

Steven’s looking at Neil’s chart again, a regular occurrence. “Soon, they should be able to stabilize him enough to let him come home. This might only be a few more days, I think. He can get these same treatments from his own bed.”

“We’ll push for that,” Archer says.

“Please don’t start a fight with the doctor,” I say.

“It won’t be a fight,” Archer says.

Maybe fight was the wrong word. Archer’s glare and to-the-point words weren’t exactly indicative of a fight. But they were certainly enough to ruffle the feathers of the doctor before.

“Archer,” Neil says. “No fighting.”

“I’ll speak to the doctors,” Steven says. “I’m sure they are already drawing the same conclusions, so I imagine it won’t be an… intense conversation.” He glances at Archer.

Archer rolls his eyes.

Beau touches my shoulder. “Come on, Nanny. Let’s go get the kid and get you both back home.”

The Pyramid isn’t the same without the brothers. It’s quieter somehow. Sure, the brothers weren’t always around even when no one was in the hospital, but it still feels different now, somehow. Like since I know exactly where they are and why, it adds weight to the silence.

After putting Mia to bed, I walk the hallways like a ghost, unsure of my purpose. Maybe I should go to bed, but I doubt I would be able to turn off my thoughts long enough to fall asleep.

Every time I close my eyes, even to blink, I see Neil on that bathroom floor, barely alive. And I feel so helpless. With Neil in the hospital, with the silver inside of him, what is there left that I can do? That any of us can do?

I’m so lost in my thoughts, I feel like I’m wading through a fog.

But then, suddenly, Beau is in front of me. I’m standing in the middle of the hallway outside of Neil’s door. I’m not sure how I got here. I don’t remember purposefully walking here.

And I certainly don’t remember seeing Beau approach me.

My footsteps must have followed my memories, and Beau, observant as he is and so often pretends not to me must have watched me.

He gives no warning. He simply leans in and kisses me. He doesn’t wrap his arms around me, or cup my cheeks in his hands. Other than his lips, he doesn’t touch me at all. It’s not a deep kiss, but it lingers pleasantly and does a very good job of snapping me back into the present.

I blink at him, doe-like, and he smirks in response.

It takes my brain a moment to catch up to what just happened, and then a moment more to go progress through what might happen now.

“This is no time for sex,” I say. With Neil in the hospital like he is, I can’t even think about my libido. It’s like all of my desires are placed on hold. I still feel them, churning deep inside of me. Beau is a handsome man after all, and a kiss from him is not ineffective.

But I feel like I’m in a void and those feelings, though present are just out of reach.

Beau winks at me. “Sometimes a kiss doesn’t need to lead to more.”

I told him that, but I’m suspicious. It doesn’t sound like him at all. I give him a flat look, and his smirk loses some of its harder edge. Like this, I can see some of the worry in his gaze. It’s rare for him to show it. Similar to how Archer showed rare tenderness with that hug.

Neil being in the hospital has put everyone on edge, it seems.

“Everyone is concerned for you, Chloe,” Beau says. “Archer, Steven. Even Neil. You went through some real shit finding him passed out like that. We know that rattled you.”

“I’m fine.”

“It would shake anyone.”

“I’m not shaken,” I insist, but my voice does me dirty by wavering as I speak the words.

I don’t want anyone to worry about me. Why should they? I’m not the one who is in the hospital. And yes, finding Neil was a shock, but again, he’s the one fighting for his life. All I did was have a little scare.

If I want to be a warrior, I need to adapt. I need to be fiercely independent, able to withstand tougher shocks than seeing Neil unconscious. As a warrior, I would face the horrors of war. I had to be ready.

Yet, somehow, it felt different when it was so unexpected. No one anticipates they will find someone they care about, who should be comfortable in their own home, collapsed within it.

Or maybe I’m just making excuses for myself.

Beau watches me like he can see straight through me, and what he sees there worries him.

I hold out the baby monitor. “Do you mind listening for Mia tonight? I want to work out.”

“Nanny…” he says, and at least the pet name/insult is the same. I can cling to that, as I feel like I’m falling apart in other ways.

I give the baby monitor I’m holding a little shake to reclaim his attention to it. “Please?”

Sighing, he grabs it. “Don’t overdo it.”

I don’t make any promises.

I return to my bedroom to change into my workout clothes, and then I head down to the gym. I throw my towel over one of the bars of a nearby machine and head straight to a set of weights. It’s dangerous to lift alone, but it’s the best way to give my muscles the burn they need.

I start in the middle, grabbing the hand weights, and then lifting them up as I drop into a squat. I do this over and over again until my knees are jelly and my arms ache, but I won’t stop.

I need to get strong enough so Neil doesn’t feel like he has to protect me like this. He suffering so much to keep Mia and I safe. It shouldn’t all fall onto him.

Every time I think of quitting for the night, I see him, so tired and weak yet struggling so fiercely to get out of that hospital bed. He was so scared they would try to take out the silver – to cure him. To save his life.

I need to be stronger. I need to be able to protect myself and those I care about.

I won’t let Neil die because of my weakness.