Chapter 202

Wait. Does that mean…?

“Is my wolf beginning to manifest?” I ask, hope rising in my voice and in my heart.

“I don’t know,” he says. “We’ll have to run more tests.”

My face must shift, possibly brightening by the hope flooding inside of me, because Steven only looks more and more worried.

“It could take years before it fully manifests,” Steven says.

In an instant, my hope switched to disappointment and down, down, down came my dreams of having it any easier. An awakened wolf would have added to my natural speed and strength. It would have helped give me a leg-up in my fight to be the first female warrior.

I sigh. This setback doesn’t kill my dreams – not by a longshot. I’ve always known the hills I would have to climb to make my dreams come true. But it’s almost cruel to have a glimmer of hope that maybe those hilltops weren’t quite so high, just to have that hope ripped away the next moment.

I’d continue to work hard. Nothing would stop me from achieving my dreams. But…

Steven frowns as he looks at me. “It’s not all bad news, though, Chloe. That you are healing this quickly means that you do in fact have a wolf, and that it will likely manifest someday in the future.”

Right. I have to be more positive. This is all good stuff. I might not have the strength yet, but there’s a hope that it might someday arrive. And if my body heals quicker, that means I can push myself harder. I could fight for longer before I would be overcome by pain.

Some durability would definitely help with any incoming hardships.

It would be so much nicer if I could more fully defend myself when I left here, instead of having to depend on whatever play the Hayes brothers are cooking up, or whichever favors they are calling in.

I want to be not just self-sustaining, but capable enough that no one would even question it. Having a wolf and watching it manifest would be a big step in the right direction.

“Chloe,” Steven says, and I can hear the cautious warning in his voice before I even look up to see it mirrored in his face. “You are healing faster, but you are not invincible. Your ribs are still broken. You need to give your body time…”

“I understand,” I say. It’s true, I do understand his concern. But I also understand I’ve been given an opportunity here, and I’m not about to slack off when I could use every moment to better myself.

“Chloe,” Steven says again, yet I start backing away before I can get a lecture.

“I got it, Steven. Don’t worry.” At the door, I wave at him. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Didn’t you want to play with Mia?” he asks.

“Not while she’s napping,” I say.

“But she’s not –”

I’m out the door before he can finish speaking.

I know in my heart of hearts that Steven has my best interest in mind when he tells me he wants me to take my time and recover properly. But honestly, I am only going to have access to the Hayes’s immaculate gym for 4 more days. Why would I squander that time by lazing around on a couch or in bed?

So I rush to my room to change into my workout clothes, and then sneak on down to the gym. Archer is fortunately out, so I have to whole room to myself.

I crack my knuckles. I’ve been stagnant for too long.

It’s time to bring this body back into shape.

Twenty minutes into my workout, I’m wheezing, and my sides hurt. Not just the dull pain like when I lifted Mia up and down, but sharp, digging pain whenever I breathe. All I was trying to do was ride on the stationary bike! Now my legs ache from pushing the pedals.

I lower my head onto the handlebars and wait for my new and improved healing factor to start kicking in.

Any second now would be nice.

No. I can’t give up. I have to keep pushing.

I try to press down on the pedal, but – ah!

Sudden pain blooms out among my ribs and I hold them.

I’m pushing myself too hard. I know that. But it’s just so damn frustrating! I should be able to do this. Why isn’t my new healing ability helping? I could go twice this long before without even breaking a sweat before the challenge. Why am I so much weaker now?

I can’t afford to be weaker.

When I’m on my own, despite the Hayes’s plans and promises, I’ll have only my own abilities to support me. If I can’t even ride twenty minutes on the stationary bike, how would I even have the stamina to run away?

I want to throw something. I want to scream. But mostly I want to crawl into a corner and take a nap until my torso doesn’t feel like it’s on fire anymore.

Which is exactly why I push myself harder and harder.

I am not a quitter. I will never give up, never give in. How many times have I been told I will never be a woman warrior? And I just keep making myself tougher, keep pushing through barriers that naysayers thought would stop me.

This pain will not stop me. Nothing will stop me.

Not even –

The door to the gym pushes open. My foot slips off the pedal.

Neil is standing in the doorway. There’s no anger in his posture or his face. Instead, disappointment lingers there, making his shoulders slump and him exhale a great big sigh. Somehow, I think I would have preferred the anger.

He steps into the gym and lets the door close behind him.

I’ve stopped my pedaling. The face of the machine flashes at me, reminding me of my shame. My speed has gone to zero. My torso isn’t great.

Neil walks closer to me so that he’s standing on the direct other side of the machine.

I avoid looking at him too long. I’m embarrassed by my inability to work out as well as I should be able to, for one. But also, I haven’t forgotten what I overheard of Neil and Angela’s conversation, when Angela asked Neil to let me stay and Neil said no.

It hurt more than it should. I don’t know why I let it bother me at all.

Maybe it was because out of all the brothers, I thought Neil might be the one with the softest heart. That’s probably incorrect. As the oldest, maybe he’s the one who can turn his feelings on and off the easiest. He would have to, to make decisions.

Neil dips his head, trying to enter my line of vision. He has to dip pretty far, since he’s so tall.

When I finally look at him, he straightens. That disappointed frown is still on his lips, now accompanied by a small worried line between his brows.

“I spoke with Steven,” he says, and that’s really all he needs to say.

As soon as I left Steven’s room, he probably grabbed Mia and rushed to see Neil and tell him his findings. And probably warn him about the hopeful and determined glint in my eye.

“I see he had a right to be worried,” Neil says.