Chapter 221

Beau, being the marathon lover that he is, stays until the middle of the night before he rolls out of bed and begins collecting his clothes off the floor. He trails the whole way back to the front door, then brings them all back to the bedroom and drops the clothes pile on the foot of the bed.

As he begins to pull the clothes on, I sit up. I raise my knees, then rest my elbows on them. My whole body slumps.

I hate goodbyes, and here we are, about to have yet another one.

Picking at a stray string along one of the seams of the bedspread, I ask, “How has everyone been?”

It’s not all I want to ask, not my far. It’s only been a day, so I doubt the news will be all that interesting. But it is the only question that I want to ask that Beau might actually answer.

“Everything’s fine.” Beau kicks his legs through his pants and pulls them up over his hips. “Neil is set to go to the hospital tomorrow to get the silver out.”

Oh, thank the Gods. “I’m glad to hear that. I heard how dangerous his condition is becoming.”

“Yeah,” Beau says. “I think we can be happy all around when the silver is out.”

I agree wholeheartedly.

Beau pulls his shirt over his head. Once his face is through the neck hole, he tells me, “Mia misses you.”

My heart aches so much that I place a hand over it to try and quell the pain.

I miss her too, so much. It’s such a struggle to try to keep her from my thoughts.

I hate that I have to keep my distance.

“Are you so sure about this plan?” I ask Beau. “Isn’t there a way to keep me safe that doesn’t involve alienating me, and keeping me away from that little girl?”

“I wish there was,” Beau says. “We’ve spent weeks looking at everything from every angle. This was the simplest and most fool-hardy solution.” He doesn’t sound happy about it.

He flops onto the bed and pulls on his socks. First the right foot, then the left.

“And here I am fucking it all up by darkening your doorway,” Beau mutters to himself.

“Technically, you broke in,” I remind him, aiming for a laugh, or at least a smile. The humor doesn’t land very well. Beau doesn’t even try to placate me with a smile.

“I am placing you in very real danger just by coming here, Nanny.” He growls at himself, hanging his head low. “And the worst part is that I know that, and I still came here anyway.”

I crawl out from under the covers and inch my way closer to him. I’m not squeamish about my nakedness. I’m behind him anyway, he’s not looking at me.

Reaching out, I wrap my arms around his shoulders and press my front along his back.

“I’m glad you did,” I say.

He hangs his head even lower. “I don’t understand it, Nanny. It makes zero sense. But I just can’t stay away from you, no matter what I do.”

I hold him tighter, and he lets me. We stay like that for a long moment, but eventually, we know we have to part. We can’t stay like this forever, no matter how pleasant.

Beau pulls away and stands. He looks back at me. He doesn’t ogle my nakedness. We are both past spent for that. Instead, keeping his eyes on my face, he leans down and presses his lips soft and sweet against mine.

Unlike our earlier passionate kisses, this one is gentle and soft. It says something, I don’t know what exactly. It feels like a connection between our two hearts.

But that’s ridiculous. I know I’m kidding myself.

Beau may miss me some but he’s not my mate.

He doesn’t say anything more as he goes to the front door and sneaks out of my life yet again.

I do my best to move forward.

I go back to sleep, resting until my alarm goes off at a more reasonable hour. Then I follow my new routine once more. Showering, dressing, eating breakfast, gathering my books.

I walk to the lecture hall and get there earlier, though not as early as the day before. I’m learning, slowly but surely how to live with my new life.

Everything is going fine enough, until my phone vibrates in the middle of class. Discreetly, I check the screen.

I received a text message…

From Steven?

Less discreet now, I unlock my phone and open my messages.

The one from Steven reads, Come to the Hospital right away. It’s about Neil.

I drop my phone on my desk. All of the blood seems to rush out of my body and I go very still.

Neil… is in trouble?

I want to text back, but I don’t even know how to formulate the words. I have too many questions at once: what’s wrong with Neil? Is it serious? Were the doctors able to remove the silver?

But above all those questions lingers something more obvious. Why would Steven invite me, someone he was supposed to avoid, to the hospital to visit a man I was supposed to be unfriendly with?

Yet, truthfully, in the moment, I don’t give a shit about that question. I don’t care about the politics of him seeing me or who sees us together.

All I know is that Neil is in trouble. Steven says they need me there.

I’m going.

I shove my books back into my backpack. Then I hop to my feet and rush out the door. The professor stops his lecture. All of my classmates are watching me with wide, confused expressions.

Let them be confused.

I don’t need to answer to them. I don’t need to explain to anyone.

I just need to get to Neil.

Since I don’t have a car, as soon as I’m out of the lecture hall, I take off running. I dash down the sidewalk, running around the slower walkers and anyone else in my way. Waiting for the streetlights to turn feels like an eternity, and when they finally shift, I jolt forward, uncaring about any lingering cars.

I run until I make it to the familiar hospital we had taken Neil to when he’d passed out.

Inside, I hurry into the waiting room. I see Steven right away.

“Steven!” I call. Maybe, I think too late, I should have practiced more discretion – because after I call out, it’s not Steven who turns to face me. It’s Archer.

Beau and Steven look at me a half-second after their brother. Beau is surprised. Steven looks worried.

Archer, however, looks as furious as I’ve ever seen him. His brow is lowered, furrowed, and his mouth is pressed into a hard angry line on a downward slant. His eyes are angry twin flames, igniting and burning higher and higher the longer he looks at me.

I shiver from the fury in his gaze. My whole body tenses up, adrenaline surging, sensing a fight might be coming.

Archer opens his mouth and a growl comes out. “What the hell are you doing here?”