Chapter 227

I pace back and forth the length of the waiting room, my anxious nerves making it impossible to sit still.

Archer, Beau, and Steven are in other areas of the room.

Archer is standing near the hallway to the operating rooms. He has his arms crossed, and is still as a statue. I’m certain he’s not going to move until he receives news of Neil’s condition.

Beau alternates from sitting in one of the chairs to standing to sitting again, like he can’t make up his mind. Or maybe he can’t get comfortable. I don’t blame him. It’s likely the same nerves that I have that keep him from staying still for too long.

Steven sits in a chair, though he’s resting on the edge of it. He can’t be comfortable like that. He has his tablet open and he’s scrolling through some text-based website or pdf. Research, most likely. Probably something related to silver poisoning.

It’s strange, to be in the same room as the brothers, and yet to feel as if a tall wall has gone up between us. I suppose everyone handles stress in their own ways, but I would have much preferred to share my anxieties with them.

That seems impossible now, like this. The brothers have shut down their emotions.

Gods help us if Neil doesn’t pull through. They’ll likely never turn their emotions back on again.

The only feeling I could sense from them is worry, much like my own.

Beau is the first one of us to crack. He stands and says, “We should be in there with him, shouldn’t we?”

Steven glances up from his tablet. “In the operating room?”

Beau glances at him. “Dad got to one doctor, what if he gets to more? Shouldn’t we be more cautious?”

“They saw what happened to the last traitor,” Archer growls. His back is to the rest of us. He hasn’t moved an inch. But his voice is loud and confident.

I shiver, wondering just what Archer did to that doctor who kept Neil in a coma on their father’s orders. Though maybe the less I know about it, the better.

Archer’s words seem enough for Beau. His concerns fall quiet, though he still doesn’t sit down.

Nor does Steven look back at his tablet.

“Do you think our father would go so far as to have Neil killed?” Steven asks.

Beau’s face twists into disbelief. “Do you think he wouldn’t?”

Steven dips his head slightly, shamed. “All of his actions so far have been torturous and harsh, but he hasn’t actively tried to murder Neil…”

“Implanting him with silver wasn’t enough for you?” Beau scoffs.

“That was a lesson,” Steven says. “He couldn’t know that Neil was ready to finally stand against him.”

Beau’s face twists further, this time his disbelief shifting into disgust. “You aren’t defending him, are you?”

“No!” Steven says quickly. “At least, I don’t mean to.”

“Enough,” Archer snaps. “Turning on each other is exactly what our father wants.”

Beau and Steven immediately deflate.

I hate to admit that I agree with Archer. Their division would certainly help their father, especially if he suspects the brothers to be working against him now.

So I keep my mouth shut.

Beau sits down.

I continue my pacing.

It takes hours before a doctor finally comes out to speak to Archer. At once, Beau, Steven, and I stop everything we are doing to hurry closer to hear the doctor’s words.

“The surgery was a success,” the doctor says.

We each let out a collective sigh.

“I won’t lie,” the doctor continues. “The recovery will be an uphill battle, but Mr. Hayes has shown amazing resilience in his ability to withstand the pain of the poisoning. I suspect he will continue to show such strength in the recovery process.”

Archer considers this. Steven nods critically.

No one is asking the most important follow up question, so I take the initiative myself.

“Can we see him?” I ask.

“Yes, of course,” the doctor says. “He’s been returned to his room. I simply ask that you do not upset him in any way.”

“We understand,” I say, speaking for everyone. No one argues. “We won’t.”

Leaving the doctor, the brothers and I rush to Neil’s room. Inside, Neil is sitting up on his bed. He seems a bit tired, blinking slowly and smiling lazily, but a color has returned to his cheeks that I hadn’t seen since before the silver was imbedded under his skin.

“Hey,” he says.

Tears well in my eyes, as I push past the others and go to his side. I hate how emotional I am, but after having worried for so much for so long, the relief now is overwhelming.

A single tear wells and drops down over my cheek. Neil raises his hand, cups my face, and wipes my tear away with his thumb.

The touch of his skin doesn’t burn anymore.

“No more tears,” he says. “I’m fine.”

“They are happy tears,” I tell him. “I’m so glad you are okay.”

His smile softens.

Beau inches closer. “Are you okay? The doctor says you’ll live, but I’d rather hear what you have to say.”

“I’m good,” Neil says. He laughs lightly. “I’m more than good. I haven’t felt like this in a long time. I might go run a marathon.”

“Maybe save the marathons for another time,” Beau says. He inches toward back toward the door. “I’ll be right back.” Beau disappears out the door. I wonder where he’s going but he didn’t say and no one stops him.

Steven goes to the foot of Neil’s bed and checks his chart.

Archer walks farther into the room, coming to stand at Neil’s bedside on the other side of me. He doesn’t say anything, and his face seems set in a glare.

Neil glances up at him and then shakes his head. “I’m fine, Archer.”

“You almost weren’t,” Archer says.

Neil sighs. “It’s not going to happen again.”

“See that it doesn’t.”

As they are speaking, I notice some of the dark poison marks still weaving through Neil’s chest under his thin hospital gown.

Neil notices me looking. “Some of the scars are permanently burned into my skin,” he says. “I hope it doesn’t bother you too much.”

“No,” I say. “Not if they don’t hurt you.”

“They don’t. The silver is totally gone. I’m healthy now. Well. I’m getting there.”

I want to reply, but before I can figure out what to say, Beau returns into the room. This time, he’s holding Mia. She must have been at the hospital day care, where she’d stayed the last time Neil was taken to the hospital.

My heart clenches at seeing Mia, and though she smiles at me, her gaze then shifts and stays on Neil.

Beau brings her closer, and for the first time in such a long time, Neil is able to hold the baby.

He laughs and Mia coos. The other brothers move in closer around them. Everyone’s relieved, the air in the room is so light and happy.

And I start to feel like an outsider.

These brothers and Mia are bound by blood and affection.

Who am I to be here?

Who am I to have the right to want to celebrate with them?

Slowly, I inch back toward the door.

No one notices.

I take a mental picture of what I see, the image of a perfect happy family. Then I turn and sneak out.