Chapter 235

Eventually, it comes time for Carrie to leave. She holds Mia for as long as she is able, to which Mia seems content with. But Archer’s continuous watch-checking, Neil’s apologetic interruptions, and Beau’s annoyed throat-clearing soon tell Carrie it’s time to let go.

“I’ll be back for you, my precious angel,” Carrie whispers to Mia. I’m close enough to hear though I pretend not to. She kisses Mia’s face, then her little hands. With a barely constrained sob, she hands Mia over to Beau.

We all watch Mia during the separation. Though she continues to look Carrie for as long as she can, she doesn’t seem to be overly upset. It’s impossible, at her age, for her to know what’s going on, but she almost has an air of understanding around her, for how calm she is being.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I let out a sigh of relief. After Archer’s warning in the hallway, I’ve been stressing a bit about whether I made the right choice letting mother and daughter reconnect for such a brief time.

Now I’m glad that I’d made sure they saw each other.

Carrie turns to me then. We’re all standing now, Neil is waiting by the door to take Carrie down to the garage. He’s going to personally drive her wherever they are going, since no one else can be trusted.

“Chloe, I…” She starts and stops many times before she finally gets out, “I don’t know how to begin to apologize to you.”

“You could start with ‘I’m sorry for trying to get you killed,’” Beau snaps.

I ignore him. Carrie doesn’t. I see her face fall.

“I’m so sorry,” she says. “I won’t make excuses. You know why I did what I did, but… If could go back, I…”

She doesn’t finish. I’m not sure she’s capable. If she went back in time, she’d likely do the same thing all over again. We both know that. There’s no need to lie.

Carrie thought she had to trade my life for a safe future for her and her daughter. She was willing to make that trade. Likely, she still was.

I could be mad about that. Or I could look to the future, and try to make changes so such choices would never be necessary again.

But, just as she struggled with her apology, I struggled with full forgiveness. I understand her plight. That doesn’t make it easier to forgive her trying to kill me.

I don’t exactly want to die.

She looks at me and nods. She must understand my struggle. “Thank you,” she says, though I’m not terribly sure why. I certainly didn’t forgive her. Maybe it’s simply a thank you for not pressing the issue, or maybe a thank you for bringing Mia to her. Or well, now that I think about it, I have done quite a lot for Carrie.

Though mostly it’s been my love of Mia that has pushed me to help her mother. There’s no reason to say that now, however. None of this is truly about me, after all.

So I just nod back.

“Ready?” Neil calls from the door, and Carrie goes toward him. She looks back once, at Mia, and then disappears behind Neil, going down to the garage.

Once she’s gone, a heavy weight in the room seems to lift away and everyone can breathe again. I myself exhale in relief.

“We should have left her there,” Archer grumbles. He pushes off the wall and leaves the room next.

Mia yawns in Beau’s arms. It’s getting late again now. She’s had a full day and likely needs more sleep. I reach out and take her from Beau’s arms.

“I’ll tuck her in tonight,” I say. It will be nice, returning to my old duties, however temporarily.

“I’ll go with you,” Steven says. He leaves his tablet on the couch and walks toward me. Together we leave the room and head into the hallway.

As we walk, only the sound of our footsteps is audible.

“I kind of forgotten how quiet it is here,” I say. Quiet, when no one’s making any noise, that is. There’s no sound of street traffic or cars honking horns. No students down in the rooms below blaring music or partying late.

“It’s been quiet here lately,” Steven says. “Too quiet, some might say.”

“Some?” I glance sideways at him.

He gives me a small smile. “All of us think so,” he admits, and I feel a little lighter all of the sudden.

“Oh?”

“I suppose we’d gotten used to your messes,” he says.

He’s teasing me. It’s unusual for him so I make a show of playfully swatting his arm. “Steven!”

He laughs a little. “Sorry,” he says but it’s clear he doesn’t mean in.

In Mia’s room, I kiss her rosy cheek and then lower her down into her crib. She’s tuckered out from the excitement and falls asleep fairly quickly. After setting the baby monitor, Steven and I creep toward the door. We stay there a minute, just in case Mia wakes up again right away, as she sometimes does.

Steven looks down at me. We’re huddled together in the doorway. Sometimes I forget how tall he is. With his glasses and shy demeanor, he sometimes radiates little brother energy, but there’s no denying, this close, that Steven is in fact all man.

He’s just as tall and handsome as his brothers.

“Neil says we can be friends again, so long as we remain discreet,” Steven says. He speaks softly so as not to rouse Mia. “I hope that means you will come to me again if you ever need help.” A faint blush dusts his cheeks. “With your homework, I mean.”

“Of course,” I say. “I’d love to.”

“Or…” He clears his throat lightly. “Perhaps just to visit.”

I give Steven a soft smile of his own. His bashfulness is endearing, and it feels warm inside of me.

I may not have had sexual relations with this brother, but I am no less fond of him than I am the others. My bonds to each brother is different and unique, yet they all give me the same feeling of strength and admiration.

I can’t imagine what other girls might think if they knew that I slept with three of the four brothers while wanting them all. I can’t imagine I’d be called very flattering names.

Perhaps that should bother me more than it does. Before, I would have never considered myself capable of wanting more than one man at once, though I suppose I never gave it too much thought.

Before I met the Hayes brothers, I never gave much thought to romance at all.

Yet now, it sometimes feels like all I can do to keep my hands firmly to myself.

If Steven even suggested he might want me sexually, I’d be naked so fast, we’d both be dizzy.

If I tried that as things are, however, he’d probably get a nosebleed and run away.

I decide to keep my clothes on for now.

“You are always welcome to visit me at the penthouse,” I say, and hope I’m not being too suggestive with the offer.

His smile is warm, so I think I’m safe.

Yet then his gaze drifts down my front, stopping very plainly on my breasts, and suddenly I’m not too sure. Just as I’m no longer as sure he doesn’t want me.

He says, “I wouldn’t be opposed,” and all my other thoughts fly straight out of my head.