Chapter 243

Steven’s words leave me speechless a moment. Of course there’s nothing wrong with what he said. It’s more than okay to only want to have sex for love. What bothers me right now is how much of a massive ass I’ve been to him.

In hindsight, I could clearly see how much I’ve been pressuring him, intentionally or not. I saw his attraction to me and ran with it, without thinking once he might have a reason for not wanting to have sex with me other than attraction.

I snap the book closed and toss it onto the dresser. The second it lands, I dip my head low in an embarrassed bow.

“I’m so, so sorry, Steven. Please forgive me.”

“Chloe. You don’t have to apologize.”

“I do. For every time that I ever made you feel pressured. I swear I respect your wishes. I didn’t mean to disrespect you.”

“Hey, you didn’t.”

I am spiraling, not really listening. He notches his finger under my chin and forces my attention upwards.

With his gaze holding mine prisoner, he says again, “You didn’t. How could you disrespect my wishes if I never told you what they were?”

“I should have known. I should have –”

“No, Chloe. I’m the one who should have told you sooner.” A small blush dusts his cheek, making him look boyish and handsome. “Truth known, I liked the attention. But it was a dangerous game I played, keeping this to myself. I think I set us both up for failure.”

I want to continue to argue, but his small smile disarms me. I still think it’s my fault, that I pushed when I should have given space. Yet, if he is being so magnanimous as to not blame me and let this whole thing get pushed aside, I couldn’t turn down that opportunity.

I want my friend back more than I want to be right.

“We’ll keep our friendship platonic,” I say it like a promise, and hope too much of my disappointment doesn’t seep through. I respect his wishes, and will respect his wishes until the day I die. My growing crush on him can get bent. I’ll deal with it on my own somehow.

“Right. Okay,” Steven says. He almost sounds disappointed too. But that can’t be. Being platonic is what he wants right?

I know better than to push the issue this time so I keep my mouth firmly shut.

We look at each other for a minute and the air turns awkward again. Oddly, the instant-fix I hoped for doesn’t seem to be kicking in right away. Is it because he knows that I want him sexually now? Or that I know he wants me too, even though we are not pursuing that desire?

Maybe. I don’t know. Everything feels muddled now between us. It’s hard to tell what’s what.

“Okay,” Steven says again. “I’ll just…” He hitches his thumb toward the door. He backs up a step, then two. On the third, he stumbles, then immediately rights himself. He’s blushing full force now. “I’m going,” he says and turns and bolts through the door.

In his wake, I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. But what I actually feel is empty.

I take a deep breath, then two. I count to 100 so I won’t meet him in the hallway. Then I too head out the door, leaving my old bedroom behind me.

I head back to the kitchen and collect Mia from Beau. For the rest of the day, I spend as much time with Mia as I can. Like this, it’s almost like I’m her nanny again and nothing has changed. We play and laugh together. I help with feedings and burping, and then change her when she poops.

As she starts to yawn in the afternoon, I put her down to nap. No sooner do I return out into the hallway, then Beau’s arms wrap tightly around me and his mouth closes over mine.

Beau is a very good kisser, so I have no immediate complaints about what’s happening.

He licks his way into my mouth and steals my breath away. I cling onto his shoulders and for a brief moment, everything is bliss.

But then he pulls back enough to speak. There’s rage in his eyes, and jealousy dripping from his voice like venom.

It’s so unlike the Beau that I know that it startles me.

“Why do they get to feel you before I do, Nanny?” he growls. And yeah, because I’m apparently a slut for it, his domineering tone makes my shorts wet again. But fortunately, my brain is still operating at full capacity right now, so I know how fucking problematic this all is.

“Why are you making me wait?” Beau continues.

I roll my eyes at him. “Give me a break, Beau. These things just happen naturally. I’m not a prize and I’m not a possession. I have sex when I want to, and that’s that.”

That does not seem to placate Beau. “Do you need further proof of how good I could fuck you? I can give you references.”

“Beau, what the fuck?”

“Maybe what you need is a demonstration.” He grabs my hand and places it down on his hard cock. It’s bulging in his pants. I know he has impressive length. I’ve seen and appreciated his nakedness before. “Feel as I move my hips.”

Then, he begins to move, rocking his hips forward and back and then around in little circular motions. Admittedly, as much as I try to hide it, it does make my throat go a little dry.

Neil and Archer are fantastic lovers. Generous, yet demanding. Though the two of them vied for displays of power and speed rather than finesse. Beau’s swaying hips promised pleasures unknown, rocked out of me one sway after titillating sway.

I hate to admit the thought is appealing and I’m horny again. It must be my werewolf healing ability, recovering me from one orgasm to the next.

“Am I winning you over?” Beau asks. Some of the rage has simmered from his eyes now. In its place are sparks of mischief and confidence. He knows exactly what he’s doing. And he knows damn well that it’s working.

“Come back to my room, Nanny,” Beau says and I’m nodding before I even realize it.

Together, we take exactly one step forward.

Then with a deep, dangerous growl, Archer storms into the room. Beau turns to glare at him. My hand is still feeling Beau through his pants. I try to pull back but Beau keeps his hold on me firm. He wants Archer to see me touch him.

Gods, this is too much.

“Let me go, Beau,” I snap, and yank at my arm. He’s holding me like a vice.

Archer lunges toward us. Beau’s hold finally releases and I pull my arm back.

I expect the two to fight, but instead, Archer reaches for me. He yanks me up and into his arms.

“Archer, what the hell?” I shout, but he’s back to not listening to me.

Instead, he growls at Beau, then, holding me to his chest, turns away from Beau and carries me down the hallway.