Chapter 23

YENA

I woke up in the dark, being carried in someone’s arms. I was so startled I nearly leapt straight up out of them.

“You’re alright,” Nolan whispered, holding me tightly. “You fell asleep at your desk. I’m taking you to bed.”

I felt a little pang of embarrassment, thinking about my weight. But it seemed like I hardly weighed anything in his strong arms.

In the bedroom, he laid me down gently on our satin sheets. I rested my head on the pillow. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been snoozing in my studio, but I was still half asleep, feeling like I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

I was wearing a light dress, something casual I liked to work in. Nolan put his hands on my legs and ran them upward, touching me all over and pulling the dress up as he went. I sat up a little and lifted my arms to let him take it off me.

He pulled a sheet up around me and tucked it tightly around my hips. His hands lingered on my body. He slid them all over my curves, pressing the soft sheets against my skin.

I resisted the impulse to reach out and touch him. I exhaled and waited to see what he was going to do.

I wanted him, but I didn’t want to give in. The rumors about his affair were fresh in my mind. But his hands felt so nice, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to say no.

In the dark I felt his face come close to mine, and his breath on my neck. He smelled like the forest.

He kissed me on the lips, softly, but with enough tongue to make me hungry for more.

My heart was hammering in my chest.

My wolf instinct told me to pull him on top of me.

But instead I pushed him away, very lightly, with my fingertips.

“Not tonight,” I whispered. “I’m really tired. And I have the sign-ups in the morning.”

Both of these statements were true facts, but neither of them was the reason I was pushing him away.

The reason was that it was dangerous.

The sex was too good. Somehow it got better each time. More intense, which I never could have imagined possible after that first wild night we had on the mountain.

When we gave in to each other, it felt like destiny.

It felt like we were falling in love.

But then he would disappear on me, sometimes as soon as the next day. To be with Gina, I figured. And I’d be falling asleep alone the next night, cold and wishing I hadn’t been so stupid.

Nolan pulled a blanket around my shoulders, kissed me on the forehead, and left me to go take a shower.

I didn’t know yet what I was going to do about all of this in the big picture. But for now, at least, I just needed to practice a little self-control.

Or a lot of self-control.

He rinsed off quickly and came back out of the bathroom naked, his skin red and steaming from taking a way too hot shower, like he always did.

I turned away and closed my eyes. I really was exhausted and fell asleep fast.

I woke before my alarm went off, feeling warm and kind of smothered.

Nolan, still asleep, was spooning me. He had me tight against his chest, with one big, muscular arm wrapped around my shoulders. I knew I’d wake him up no matter how careful I was, but I tried to sneak out of his embrace quietly anyway.

To call my husband a light sleeper would be an understatement. It was uncanny how fast he could rouse from sound sleep and go straight into Prince Nolan mode, answering phone calls at all hours of the night with his signature cool, calm tone of voice. I guessed that was the result of a lifetime of training and discipline.

As soon as I started moving, I felt the change in his breathing that told me he was awake. His body relaxed and he rolled away.

“Morning,” he said quietly. He had his head on the pillow and was looking up at me as I sat up in bed.

“Morning.” I sat back against the headboard and started combing my hair with my fingers and redoing my ponytail.

“You have your competition sign-up today, right?” he asked.

“Yeah.” I was a little surprised he not only remembered that but was also thinking about it first thing in the morning.

He smiled and reached out to touch my thigh. He ran his hand across my skin, bringing it to rest right at the crease of my hip, and gave a little squeeze.

“They are going to love your work,” he said.

His eyes were a little foggy with sleep, but just as unreadable as always. I couldn’t tell if he believed what he was saying or just trying to be nice.

Then he sat up with one smooth movement and his hand moved from my lap to my neck. He leaned over and gave me a quick, soft kiss, making my eyelids bat closed for a second. Then his hand trailed away and he slipped off the other side of the bed, and started getting dressed.

It was going to be a cold day, with more of that rolling fog that blew in from the coast and drove a sharp chill through the air.

I donned some high-waisted jeans and a warm sweater, and pulled the look together with a pair of black thigh-high boots I bought on our honeymoon.

I’d made a green jacket in my studio, an experiment that turned out well but I decided wasn’t right for any of my school assignments. It was insulated but slim and flattering, fitted of course to my own shape. I pulled it on and popped the high collar, sweeping my long hair forward and down over one shoulder.

I had to give it to myself — I was looking pretty sharp.

For maybe the first time, I looked at myself in the mirror and started thinking of myself as a real designer. One that could really become famous.

I gave myself a little pep talk in the school parking lot.

Caryn and Susan had been waiting for me here last time I set foot on campus, but I had gone during weekend studio hours, when I guess I could have expected they’d be hanging around.

There were tons of people here today, though.

Students here for morning classes and, of course, all the contest entrants waiting in line near the auditorium.

I had already submitted my application online, but today every designer had to show up in person to show the judges their designs and provide at least one garment sample as proof we had started making our pieces.

The judges were inside, sitting at a long table on the stage, inviting each designer up one at a time to show their work and answer questions about their collection before receiving final approval to officially enroll in the contest.

I took my place in the line. There were about twenty or so other students ahead of me. I recognized them all from my classes.

And at the front of the line, I saw Susan and Caryn. They saw me come in and were watching me. Caryn flashed me her usual phony, borderline psychotic smile.

All I could do was shake my head at her.

When I looked at Susan, she turned her back to me. It was her turn next, anyway, and up she went onto the stage with her portfolio in hand.

It seemed like a quick interview. She answered a couple questions, waited while the judges looked over her materials, then bent to scribble her name on a clipboard.

Something about the energy in the room kept me on edge all the while. I didn’t like the ice-cold vibes I felt between me and Susan.

Done with her sign-up, Susan descended the stairs and headed back toward the line. She paused to say something to Caryn, who looked me in the eye while whispering something into Susan’s ear, all the while baring that conniving smile.

Then Susan finally made eye contact with me. And I wished she hadn’t.

I couldn’t believe she was still so mad at me. It was like we were back at the Full Moon Ball all over again. Her eyes were wide, and she was shaking with anger.

This wasn’t the Susan I remembered. And deep inside I still loved my friend Susan, and it hurt me to see her like this.

She left Caryn and resumed her route toward the back of the line. Toward me.

I got the feeling she was getting ready to tell me off again.