Chapter 51

I spent the evening digging through Nolan’s file boxes. I couldn’t say exactly why, but I knew there was something in there that I needed to find.

Lily had told me to trust my instincts.

I was trying to get better at that.

I didn’t know what I was looking for. But I knew I’d recognize it when I found it.

And I found it.

There was a file folder that had a few loose pieces of paper in it, along with one small, white envelope.

My heart started hammering in my chest the second I touched the envelope. Somehow, I just knew that this was what I’d been looking for.

Maybe it was Lily who knew.

She seemed to know everything.

I pulled out the envelope and saw that on the front, there was just one word, handwritten in ink. Nathan.

I whispered, “Nathan?”

Inside the envelope was a letter. A note at the top dated it about six months ago.

I read the letter.

My hands were shaking by the time I set it down.

Obviously, it was written to Nolan. But for some reason, the writer of the letter knew my husband by a different name.

I sat there staring at the letter a long time. Turning it over, reading and re-reading it.

It was from an old man. At the end, he had only signed it with a single initial. A.

It sounded like the man was sick, and for some reason, Nolan had been helping him. Visiting him regularly for years. For a few nights a month.

A very distinct feeling in my body told me what that all meant, before my head really had time to process the information.

It meant that Nolan had not been cheating on me.

The couple nights a month he disappeared… he was out doing a good deed. In secret.

The rumors had been wrong. I felt hot with shame and wondered how I could have believed them in the first place.

Nolan would tell me more about all this. In the morning. I’d find his secretary and get back into the tower to talk to him again.

I was relieved. But also a little angry. I wished Nolan would have just told me about this.

But he’d kept it a secret. And he let me wonder, just a few times, where he was at night. He let me think less of him than he deserved.

My mouth was dry. I’d been sitting in bed for hours, cluttering it with Nolan’s papers and studying them all like I was cramming for an exam.

I was exhausted. It had been a long and strange couple of days.

I tucked the letter into my purse, then cleaned up all the rest of the papers, packing them back into the boxes as neatly as I could. Then I put the boxes back where I found them in Nolan’s closet.

I took a hot shower and called to have some dinner sent up to the room.

The heavy drapes were pulled closed over the windows, but I could still hear the muted sounds of the rainstorm outside.

It was going to be a cold night. Even more so without Nolan. The bed felt huge and empty without him in it.

NOLAN

A faint orange glow was starting to replace the pitch dark in the tower, telling Nolan it was morning.

He had not slept at all.

Nolan had been thinking a lot about his father’s reason for locking him up this time. He decided was the same as last time.

He did it to teach Nolan a lesson.

And as much as Nolan hated to admit it, this might have been the wakeup call that he needed.

There was a war heading straight for him.

And Nolan had gotten lazy. Things were comfortable with Yena. The love haze lulled him into a weakened state, and that had opened him up to this attack.

Adan should not have been able to get away with his setup.

Nolan should have known better than to fall for it.

Suddenly there were footsteps low in the tower. Nolan leapt to his feet.

He winced. His neck and back were stiff.

From the sound of the footfall, it was Yena. Followed by a guard.

Again, the door creaked open carefully.

First it was just the figure of Yena appearing. A silhouette in shadow.

He smiled. And found himself immediately longing to touch her.

“Nolan,” Yena said breathily, coming into view as she crossed the landing and stood before him on the other side of the bars.

“Yena.”

She gave him a sad smile. “I brought you something. I didn’t know if they are even feeding you in here.”

She had a bundle in her hands. She passed it to him through the bars.

Nolan opened a big cloth napkin that had been folded over itself. Inside, Yena had packed up four boiled eggs and several thick strips of crispy bacon.

He was seated and had a wad of bacon packed into his cheeks a moment later.

“And I think I know how to change your father’s mind about all this,” Yena said.

Nolan might have laughed if his mouth had not been full. And if he had not just spent the night in jail.

He had never known anyone to be able to change the King’s mind.

Then Yena reached into her purse. She pulled out a familiar white envelope.

“I’m going to talk to them,” she said. “Whoever wrote you this letter, if he’s still alive. And the people at the orphanage.”

Nolan chewed and swallowed the last of his bacon.

Then he asked, “How did you find that?”

She shook her head. “What does it matter? I told you I will do anything to help you, and I meant it.”

“Okay. How would talking to them even help me, though?”

“Nolan,” she said sharply, “everyone needs to know about all these good things you’ve done. Why would you keep stuff like this a secret, anyway?”

“Because that’s not the point. I don’t… do these things for recognition.”

“I know that.”

“And the old man,” Nolan added. “He’s not well. Especially lately.”

She lifted the letter up as a visual aid and said, “He cares about you. He would want to help you, if he knew that he could.”

Nolan sighed. He stuffed a whole egg into his mouth and chewed on it thoughtfully.

“I’m going to get the word out,” Yena said, “about who you really are, Nolan. The good man I know and the good King you are working to be.”

Nolan nodded. And ate another egg.

Yena waited patiently for him to finish.

Then she asked, “Will you please tell me who he is?”

“I ran away once,” Nolan said, clearing his throat. “When I was a child. Shortly after Adan left.”

“You ran away from this palace? The most heavily guarded fortress in the world?”

“Yes,” Nolan answered. “I… knew a secret way out.”

Yena narrowed her eyes and nodded thoughtfully at this.

“I just got out into the woods and ran,” Nolan said.

He closed his eyes, remembering.

“I didn’t stop to catch my breath until I looked around and saw I was all the way up at the top of the cliffs. Then I saw the old man. Just standing there in the moonlight with his back to me, teetering on the edge of the cliff.”

“Goddess,” Yena whispered.

“He was going to jump, but I interrupted him. When he saw me, he took me to safety.”

“Why was he going to kill himself?”