YENA

Something was off with Nolan.

After everything that happened the disastrous night before, what I wanted most was just to feel close to my husband again. To be reminded that he wanted me.

The spark was still there the moment he kissed me. That force that ignited any time we were together, that pulled our bodies together like magnets.

But it was like he kept thinking about something else.

It happened first in the studio. We were kissing, and he started to tremble. And the look on his face became so… worried.

I asked him what was wrong, and he lied. He said it was nothing.

I was too tired to fight, so I shook it off. I just wanted to be with him.

In bed, he gave me a long, heavy kiss that felt… strange. Intense, but not in the right way.

I couldn’t tell what he was feeling.

And I didn’t like that.

Finally he was inside me, and I wanted to let go. Get lost in the pleasure of his touch. Let my mind go blank as he took over my body.

But he tensed up again.

I met his eyes and didn’t see in them the wild, dark desire I usually did when we were making love. Instead, he looked sad.

Never since I’d known Nolan had I wondered if he really wanted me.

I had wondered if he loved me. But I always felt desired by him.

A horrible thought struck me.

It was Gina. He was thinking about her.

He was thinking about how he had options, now. He was thinking about the thin, pretty girl he could be fucking… not the fat girl underneath him.

“Wait,” I told Nolan.

“What is it, Princess?”

He relaxed his body and slid out of me.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

“I don’t know,” I said. “Something doesn’t feel right.”

Nolan rolled over and lay down beside me. He put his head on the pillow and sighed. Stared up at the ceiling and wiped his mouth with his hand.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I guess I’m distracted. Just everything going on.”

He turned and looked at me.

“Can I just hold you, Princess?”

I nodded, and he slipped an arm around my waist.

I rolled onto my side and let my body relax into his.

There was something sad about the way he was holding me. Something too intense, something that didn’t make sense.

We rested for a bit, then Nolan said he needed to get back to work. We got dressed and went our separate ways for the day. He gave me a kiss on the forehead and a tired smile before he walked away.

“So wonderful to hear from you, sweetheart!”

Tina’s voice was always comforting.

“Hi Tina,” I said, trying to sound cheerful. Or at least normal. I guess it didn’t work.

“Oh Yena, what’s wrong?”

I sighed. “I don’t know. I guess I’m feeling homesick. I miss you guys.”

“We miss you too, sweetie.” She paused, then added, “Is this about the incident at Nolan’s party?”

“Yeah. I guess you must have seen it on the news.”

I’d been avoiding turning on the tv at all. Opening social media on my phone.

“Mm-hmm,” Tina said. “Who was that girl, Yena? The one that left in the ambulance?”

“It was Nolan’s ex-girlfriend.” I didn’t do a great job hiding my spite as I said it.

“Oh!” Tina sounded genuinely surprised.

That meant the media didn’t have that information yet. If they knew that scandalous detail, they’d be running with it.

Which made me wonder why Gina hadn’t put the info on blast herself. Seemed like she’d do anything to get Nolan’s attention.

“I’m so sorry, Yena. That seems strange that she would have been invited to the party.”

“Apparently, she wasn’t. She gate crashed. That’s what Nolan said, at least.”

“Hmm.”

Tina was thinking.

“Anyway,” I said, “I’m pretty sure she’s completely fine. She did it to make a scene.”

“Really? Well, what would be… the purpose of that?” By the time Tina finished the end of her question, her tone sounded like she already knew the answer.

“She wants him back,” I said flatly.

“But you’re married,” Tina said. “How could she do such a thing?”

“Honestly, Tina, the girl is psychotic. She was taunting me at the party.”

“You talked to her?”

“Yeah, Nolan was somewhere else when she came in, and I confronted her.”

“Oh, honey. What did she say to you?”

“I don’t know…”

I tried to remember my face-off with Gina. Then decided I didn’t want to remember it.

“She was trying to get me to believe she had something going on with Nolan behind my back.”

I could hear Tina did a little gasp, but tried to stop herself.

“You don’t think that could be true, do you?” Her voice was full of motherly concern.

“I honestly don’t think so. I’m with him all the time, Tina. Except when he’s working, but that keeps him super busy.”

She sounded relieved and said, “Well, good. I would find it hard to believe, myself. I have seen the way that man looks at you, Yena, and can tell that he loves you.”

“That’s what he says.”

“Well,” Tina continued. “What’s the news on your decision about study abroad?”

The subject change was a relief.

I relaxed back into the couch. I was sitting in my studio, where I had been trying to work on designs all day. I had called Tina when I realized, after several frustrating hours, that I just couldn’t focus enough to get anything done.

“I’m gonna do it,” I told her. “I sent in my applications. I know Nolan isn’t excited about me leaving for half the year, and his mother definitely doesn’t approve, but when I told him I wanted to do it, he said he would support me.”

“That’s great, sweetie.” She sounded like she was smiling, happy to hear this news.

“Did you talk to Evan?” I asked. “About if he’d want to help me move, if I get accepted, and can go?”

“I did,” Tina said.

“…And?”

“Here, Evan’s actually just in the other room. Why don’t you talk to him yourself? I know he’d love to hear your voice.”

“Okay. Wow, I just realized I haven’t talked to him in a long time.”

“Uh-huh,” she said absently. Then I heard her quietly, with the phone away from her mouth, telling Evan I was on the phone and wanted to talk to him.

“I’ll talk to you later, sweetheart,” Tina said to me. “It’s always wonderful to hear from you. Here’s your brother now.”

A pause and a moment later, Evan, sounding super happy, said, “Hey, Yena!”

“Hi Evan,” I said, feeling a huge smile on my face. “How are you?”

It wasn’t until I heard his voice that I remembered how much I missed my big brother.

“I’m good. How are you doing?”

“Well…” I thought about lying, for the sake of a pleasant conversation.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice going quiet and serious. “Are you okay? Is it Nolan, did something happen?”

I exhaled loudly. “Yeah, I guess… he’s struggling with me wanting to study abroad next semester. And then there was that stressful thing that happened at his party, that I’m sure you saw on the news and stuff.”

“Yeah, I saw it.” His voice got deeper now, sounding angry. “Who was that bitch, and why was he dancing with her, anyway?”

I chuckled. There was my protective big brother.