Chapter 45

Erin’s POV

Maybe it was the way he was looking at me, or maybe it was the way he spoke. But I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

I started to laugh.

He frowned, narrowing his eyes at me as I held onto my stomach and nearly tumbled over in a pit of laughter.

“I don’t see what’s so funny,” Theo said, seemingly annoyed.

“I’m sorry,” I said between gasps. “It’s not you. It’s just that I should have known you would try to recruit me to return.” I shook my head in disbelief, trying to contain my laughter. “You never did do favors out of the goodness of your own heart.”

“That’s not fair…”

“Isn’t it though?” I asked; my laughter started to die down and I just stared at him for a short while. “You can’t honestly say you’re allowing me to stay here because you care about me. You wanted to make me an offer. It’s obvious now.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at him. “Did Henry put you up to this?”

He looked shocked by my words; I knew it was wrong to throw Henry in the mix of things but this felt like it had Henry written all over the place.

It was times like these that I wished more than anything that Jessie was by my side. I knew I could always count on her. She was somebody I could always trust.

“There was a time you could always count on Gavin too…” Emily reminded me.

My heart ached at the thought, but I quickly brushed it out of my mind.

“I’m sorry; but I’m not ready to return and I don’t think I ever will be,” I said, shaking my head.

“When are you going to stop blaming yourself for—”

“Not you too,” I muttered. “I’m not blaming myself. I’m taking responsibility. People died because of my mistakes. I won’t make the same mistake twice.”

“I know you won’t,” Theo said, taking a step closer to me. “The organization isn’t the same without you. You are the strongest one here and you are the best at what you do. Don’t throw that away…”

“I threw it away long ago, Theo,” I said to him.

Now I no longer felt the need to laugh.

My heart was heavy in my chest and I found it difficult to keep a steady gaze in his eyes.

“I’m not the same person I was three years ago,” I tell him. “I want you to respect my wishes and don’t bring this up again. If I ever become ready to return to the organization, you will be the first to know. But until then, just drop it.”

He looked bothered by my words, but he didn’t argue any longer. He sighed and nodded, allowing me to leave his office.

I scurried away quickly and back to the guest room.

When I returned to the room, I was surprised to see Henry sitting on my bed. He was staring down at his hands sheepishly. He looked exhausted; my heart felt for him in a way.

“What happened?” I asked, sitting beside him. “Did you take care of Susanna’s men?”

“For right now,” he said, sounding tired. “I let them search our house. They are going to tear up the entire kingdom looking for you. I can’t stay long. I just wanted to check on you.”

“I see,” I said, staring down at my hands and tugging at my fingers nervously. “Thank you, Henry, for protecting me.”

“We might not be legally married, but I still think of you as my wife…” he said. “I’ll always protect you, Erin.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that; I felt a sense of guilt with how I admittedly felt toward Gavin. But Theo quickly popped into my head and I glanced at Henry.

“Did you ask Theo to re-recruit?”

“What are you talking about?” He asked, sounding annoyed as he glanced over at me and searched my face with his eyes.

“I won’t be angry if you tell me the truth,” I found myself saying.

He furrowed his brows together and I could see the aggravation in his expression.

“I’m sick of you not believing the things I say. When did you stop trusting me?” He asked, his tone deep and irritated.

I wasn’t sure when I stopped trusting him, but I was quickly realizing that I did.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I’m just tired of being lied to.”

“I never lied to you!”

“I’m also tired of fighting,” I said. “When can we can have a conversation without fighting?”

“I don’t know, you tell me, Erin. I’m pretty sick of the fighting too,” he muttered, standing to his feet. “I need to go. Susanna’s men are going to destroy the kingdom unless I do something about it.”

I stood up as well, holding my arms across my body.

“Maybe you shouldn’t come back here,” I said to him, my voice sounding unfamiliar.

He turned to face me, narrowing his eyes.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“At one point, you were one of my best friends. I trusted you with my life and now I don’t know if I trust you at all. I hate that feeling. I hate not trusting you and I hate fighting with you. I hate having to question you every day.”

“Things were fine until he came back into your life,” Henry shot back, causing me to flinch.

“Henry, listen to me…” I said, taking a step closer to him. “I love you. But I think it’s better if we took some space for right now.”

“So, that’s it?” Henry asked; his entire body was stiff. “We are breaking up because of your ex-boyfriend?”

“No,” I said, blinking away the tears in my eyes. “We are taking space because I don’t know what else to do. I just need to wrap my head around everything that’s happening. I’m losing my mind, Henry, and whatever this is… it’s not working for me anymore—”

“Fine,” Henry said quickly as he turned away from me. “You want space, then I’ll give you space.”

On that note, he was gone.

I sat back on my bed, staring at my hands.

What was I going to do now?

What if we couldn’t fix this and we ended up breaking up for good?

I wasn’t sure I could do this without Henry.

Where was I going to go?

We shared a home.

I thought about calling Gavin; I didn’t want to crawl back to Gavin and ask him for help. That wouldn’t be fair to him and if word got back to Henry, then it would only prove that he was right about my relationship with Gavin.

But still, I couldn’t help but wonder what Gavin was doing at that moment; I wondered if he was looking for me, or if he was worried at all.

I also needed to warn him about Susanna’s antics. She was obviously crazy, and he could be in serious danger.

I didn’t hear my phone going off the entire 24 hours I’ve been here. So, he probably wasn’t searching for me.

Then again, I don’t remember seeing my phone at all.

I searched through the small pile of belongings I gathered before arriving, but my phone wasn’t there.

I frowned, searching around the room.

My phone was completely gone.