Chapter 5 Red-Faced

ALICE 

Words couldn't describe how shitty I felt. 

It was the shittiest feeling in the world. Shittier than shit. Ever since I left that New Year's Eve bullshit party, I hadn't felt like myself. I was so down. So, so down. I didn't want to eat. Work out. Nothing. 

All I could do was stay in bed and wallow in my misery. 

Of course, I wouldn't even add how embarrassed and ashamed I was now that I had been sober for some days. The photo I sent...the sexts...oh my God. I died on the inside every time I opened my phone and went through them like the sadist I was. I knew I was only bringing myself pain, but I kept reading them to figure out if they were salvageable or something. 

If maybe I could get away with something I did. 

But noooo. 

They were bad. Really bad. And his replies were worse. If I were sober, I would've realized my mistake right away. Benjamin never spoke to me that way, not even in texts. I would've realized something was wrong. But I had way too many glasses of champagne, and I wasn't in the right state of mind. 

I still didn't know how such a mistake happened. Why was Theodore Linden-Hawthorne's number in my phone? I never had it before. I couldn't understand what happened. Did I have it and just...forgot? Even if I did, how the fuck did I save it under Benjamin's name?

It was all so messed up that it felt supernatural. Maybe Theodore Linden-Hawthorne was so demonic that he sent one of his little minions to do that, just to have me fired. He'd been wanting to do that for so long. 

He gave me a shit ton of work for no reason, work that other people could do. He talked down to me. He hated me. I could tell even by how he looked at me. 

Yet, he walked into that office and kissed me. He knew who I was. I didn't know who he was. 

Why did he do that? Just to fire me?

He truly was evil. 

I took a deep breath and walked into the building. It was the first Monday of the new year, and I was supposed to be excited to come in to work. 

But it was one of the saddest days for me. 

Because I was handing in my resignation letter.

I preferred doing this because I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of firing me. Fuck. Him. I would be the bigger person here, not him. I knew that a dismissal was the only thing that awaited me. I kissed my boss. No, wait. First, I sent him a nude. Then I told him the most inappropriate things through text. Then, I slapped him. 

I wasn't crazy enough to think that I'd keep my job after that. 

I was too ashamed to even look at my work colleagues. I had this crazy idea that maybe they'd all give me dirty looks, then throw stones at me. I didn't know why, but I really thought everyone would know what happened. 

But nobody looked at me in a funny way. In fact, everyone looked at me normally, and they even greeted me. 

I didn't see Emma around, and I was grateful for that. I was too ashamed to face her, too. Anyway, I had to concentrate now. I stopped in front of Mr. Linden-Hawthorne's office, breathed in deeply, and knocked quickly before I could change my mind. 

"Come in."

I almost gave up. Maybe I should just slip the resignation letter under his door and run away as fast as my legs could carry me. 

What was I expecting? Why did I want to face this man after that happened?

It was like I was begging to be humiliated, the same way my parents humiliated me when I tried to call them and learned that they already knew what happened. Benjamin probably called them before I had a chance to, and the words they spat at me were engraved into my memory. 

I would never forget them. 

I opened the door, and he looked up. When we made eye contact, my stomach churned and nervousness bubbled up my throat and filled my mouth with this nasty bitter taste. 

He sat back in his chair. Those devious eyes never left my face. "Yes, Miss Rhodes?"

Shame crept up my neck and tinted my cheeks red. I closed the door and walked up to him, holding out the letter. I set it in front of him, then said, "This is to save you the trouble of having to fire me. Excuse me."

"One moment, Miss Rhodes."

I was already heading toward the door.

He stood up as fast as lightning, it seemed, because he put his hand on the door handle before I even touched it, and stood between me and the door. My face was burning at this point. 

"What resignation letter? What's that about?"

His question irritated me. Without looking at him, I gritted out, "Don't taunt me! You don't have to do that anymore. I quit. You won't have to see my face again!"

"I'm being perfectly serious, Miss Rhodes."

I met his gaze. A crazy, untamed part of me whispered in my mind that he wasn't my boss anymore, so I could tell him whatever the hell I wanted. "No, you're not. You're just trying to humiliate me!"

The smug look on his face really made me want to slap him again, but I kept my arm fixed to my side. I was more in control of myself. I wouldn't give him another chance to put his hands on me, or worse, have me arrested for battery. "Humiliate you? Why would I do that?"

I lost my patience. "Excuse me!"

"You're not going anywhere until we talk about what happened."

"I don't want to. There's nothing to talk about!"

"No?" He arched one of his thick brows. "Your tongue was down my throat last Wednesday, Miss Rhodes. I can still smell you on my fingers."

I screwed my eyes shut and stepped away from him. "Stop! It was an accident!"

"I don't believe in accidents. In my world, everything happens for a reason."

I met his age again. "It wasn't premeditated, if that's what you're thinking. I thought you were my fiancé, you...you prick, and that cost me everything, but you could never know! No, to you this is all so entertaining. My life's falling apart!"

"And whose fault is that supposed to be? Mine? You're the one who sent me that photo. All I did was play along."

"Why?" I spat. "Why didn't you put a stop to it? Why did you reply to all those things?"

His eyes filled with intent and a look that sent shivers down my spine. "Why? You know why, Miss Rhodes. Until that kiss, I didn't think you did, but you do, and I have to give it to you—you know how to play the part of a clueless woman."

"What are you even talking about?"

A smirk curved his lips. He was still blocking the door or I would have left a long ass time ago. "I'm curious to know where this goes from here. You've handed me your resignation...quite creative, I admit...and now what?"

"Now what? I look for another job."

He folded his arms. "You know I can't let that happen."

I tensed. "You can't stop me from doing anything. It's my life. Please, step away from the door."

"You called me a prick just now. Now you're saying please?"

I threw my hands in the air. This situation was ridiculous and I couldn't believe it was happening. "What do you want from me!?"

"You know what I want," he retorted. He stepped toward me suddenly and I backed away so quickly that I almost tripped. He held my arm to keep me on my feet. The sudden contact was...I didn't even have words for it. "What do you want? What will it get you to stay? Money? Tell me."

I ripped my arm from his grip. "What!? Are you offering me money to fuck you?"

"A salary raise, yes."

I scoffed. "I don't want anything from you."

"That's not what you were saying in those texts. Or when you kissed me and let me touch you."

"I didn't know it was you! How many times do I have to say that!?"

"I find that very hard to believe."

I took the opportunity and headed toward the door before throwing it open. I heard him say, loud and clear, "If you ever change your mind, you know what to do."

I headed outside angrily. I was fuming. I wanted to stab him with his ridiculously expensive pen. Bastard. Who did he think he was? Seriously?

He repulsed me!

I stepped outside and started toward my car while searching for my keys in my bag. It was freezing, but I was sweating. I wasn't sure why, but I looked up and froze right in the middle of the sidewalk. 

I saw Emma inside a car, a car I knew too well, and she leaned over and kissed the driver right on the mouth. 

Who was the driver, you might ask?

Benjamin.

My fucking fiancé, Benjamin.