Chapter 1 Ch-01

KNOX

A used condom was lying inside my trashcan.

I stared at the cum in it for a full second, my brain weirdly blank.

Then Tammy’s voice cut through the apartment again.

“…and I literally thought you were gonna ignore me all summer,” she rambled, smiling as she tugged the belt of her bathrobe tighter around her waist. “You barely texted me over the last two weeks, Knox. I missed you.”

My stomach turned so violently I almost threw up.

Because that condom sure as fuck wasn’t mine.

I hadn’t stepped foot inside this apartment for weeks.

Training camp with my father had dragged on longer than usual after my last season crashed and burned halfway through playoffs.

According to him, I’d played like a “fucking embarrassment,” which meant I got sentenced to hell for the remainder of summer break.

Hell, as usual, was waking up before sunrise to skate until my legs gave out.

Hell was bruises blooming across my knees from repeated drills on rough ice and a puck to my side if I complained.

I never did though because I knew my father just wanted the best for me. Tough love, they called it.

But my entire body still fucking ached from it.

And now I came home to this.

Fuck! I should have known when she’d rushed out the second I walked through the door, as if trying to stop me from entering the room. The robe…the fucking nervous energy vibrating from her. She hadn’t expected me back this early.

Jesus fucking Christ.

“I was thinking maybe we could go out tonight?” her chirpy voice drifted back into my ears as she glanced at me with her bright amber eyes. “People aren’t really back on campus so we’ll have some priva--”

“Who did you fuck?” My voice came out flat, cutting her off.

“W-w-what?” she stuttered.

Dropping my bags, I strolled toward the trashcan and picked up the wet piece of latex.

As I held it up, Tammy’s face instantly drained of color. “Knox—”

“Who.” My voice dropped lower. “The fuck. Is it?’

Like a fish out of water, she opened and closed her mouth, no words coming out.

And then a small sound fell out of her trembling lips. “I’m sorry.”

NO! FUCK THAT!

Hurling the condom across the room, I began searching the apartment as though I was hunting prey.

But every corner yielded nothing which was fucking weird because the condom hadn’t been there long. I knew it. The fucking room still smelled like sex and even my bed was unmade.

The bastard must have slipped out when I walked in.

Oh the thought made my vision pulse red.

“Knox, stop! There’s no one here.” Tammy cried somewhere behind me. “You’re acting insane!”

Insane? I was the insane one?

Gritting my teeth, I turned to look at her. “Tell me his fucking name!”

I didn’t know why I needed to know him so badly. She fucked another guy. End of story; relationship over.

Okay, fuck I knew exactly why.

The past few weeks with my father had filled me with so much rage I felt fucking poisoned by it. I’d swallowed every insult and reminder that I wasn’t enough because again, he just wanted me to be better.

But now, there was finally something I could hit back against.

A man that wasn’t my father and I wanted his fucking name.

“You need to calm down first!” She screeched, shaking her head.

I stared at her for a second before a bitter laughter tore out of my lungs. “I never cheated on you once, Tammy. Not one fucking time.”

And it wasn’t from a lack of opportunity.

Girls threw themselves at hockey players constantly. Fucking puck bunnies, sorority girls, but I ignored all of them.

Not because I was some lovesick idiot.

I just didn’t see the point.

Tammy was beautiful, easy to be around, and most importantly, she understood my schedule. After three years together, she fit into my life naturally.

“Knox, I swear, it—it just happened.” She cried.

“It just happened,” I echoed, staring at her in disbelief. “Did he trip and accidentally fall inside you?”

She looked away and a bitter feeling spread through my chest.

I still remembered meeting her freshman year after a game.

At first I thought she was another puck bunny looking for attention.

But she kept crawling back into my bed and acting like she belonged there.

And eventually, she just…did.

There were moments--rare as they were--where I caught myself thinking maybe this could be permanent someday.

Maybe one day when hockey settled down and I made it to the league and finally got my shit together, I could marry her.

The thought made me feel physically sick now.

“I’m sorry.” She finally choked out.

“For cheating or for getting caught?”

Tammy’s face crumpled and then she started sobbing. “You’re being unfair.”

Another crazed laugh bubbled out of me. “ME?” I pointed at myself. “Unfair?”

“Yes!” She snapped suddenly, looking at me as though I was the one who’d done something unforgivable. “You keep acting like some perfect boyfriend just because you never physically cheated on me, but you did cheat emotionally.”

“What the fuck does that even mean?”

“Hockey is your real girlfriend, Knox,” she yelled. “Everything in your life revolves around it. Everything! Your moods, your priorities—fuck, Knox, even when we’re together it feels like your head is somewhere else half the time.”

I stared at her blankly while she furiously wiped at her tears.

“You eat, sleep and breathe hockey,” she continued bitterly.” I’m just there whenever you need somewhere to stick your dick before you go obsess over the ice again.”

My lips curled and I let out a scoff. “That’s bullshit, Tammy.”

“Is it?”

“Yes,” I said sharply, my chest heaving. “You knew what my life looked like before you moved in with me. Hockey isn’t a fucking hobby.”

“It doesn’t mean you should always abandon me.”

“I was gone for only three weeks, Tammy.” I yelled.

“You know it’s been here before the summer break, Knox.” She sniffed.

And yeah…I did know.

Our relationship hadn’t been perfectly lately. Between practice, gym sessions and travel schedules, there were times Tammy only got whatever scraps of energy I had left.

And during the last season playoffs, we fought more than we dated.

But I thought we were fine. Yes, we fought but the makeup sex usually settled things with her.

Maybe that was the problem.

I had mistaken physical comfort for something deeper.

I roughly dragged a hand through my hair before looking at her again.

“You know what?” my voice came out tired. “I don’t fucking care anymore. Get out.”

Tammy blinked. “What?”

“Get the fuck out of my apartment.”

“You can’t do that.”

“The hell I can’t.”

“I gave up my dorm because you asked me to move in with you!” she yelled. “Getting any place would be next to impossible right now.”

I gave a humorless snicker. “Maybe you should’ve thought about that before handing your pussy over to any willing guy who looked your way.”

Tammy flinched hard as if the words physically struck her. “It wasn’t like that,” she hissed. “I actually connected with him.”

Wow.

“I don’t give a shit if he picked you up by the roadside and fucked you right there like the back alley whore you are.”

Her cheeks burned red and her own anger exploded. “At least he actually made me feel wanted,” she shouted. “And for your information the sex was better too!”

Fuck, my chest spasmed and red flashed in my vision.

Seeing my reaction, Tammy laughed bitterly and sneered. “Way fucking better. Bigger dick too.” She glared at me viciously. “Maybe you should shove your dick into one of the holes on your ice rink so you’d learn how to fuck better.”

“Get out.” I deadpanned, shaking with the control I forced myself to have. “Right now or I swear, Tammy…”

I trailed off, jaw clenched tight. I wasn’t going to hit a woman, no matter how furious I got, I’d never become that kind of a man.

She must have seen the look in my eyes because whatever she wanted to say next died on her lips.

She quickly grabbed a suitcase and started throwing her things into it while I stood there, trembling with rage from head to toe.

By the time she finally dragged her shit out the door, her eyes were swollen but I didn’t give a shit and slammed the door in her face.

As soon as she was gone, I rammed my fist into the wall next to the door and pain exploded across my knuckles.

“FUCK!”

My breathing turned uneven as I leaned my forehead against the wall, trying to calm down.

I needed an outlet before the rage under my skin tore me apart from the inside.

Pushing away from the wall, I grabbed my keys. But as I bent to yank my hockey bag up so I could go to the rink, something under the bed caught my attention.

Frowning, I crouched down and reached for the wallet.

Turning it over, I could tell it was definitely not mine.

A light switch flipped on in my head instantly and I opened it.

A driver’s license stared back at me beneath the clear plastic slot and a slow dark smile spread across my lip.

Ezra Monroe.

Well, that just made things very fucking easy.