Chapter 118

Tyler POV

"Go find out what's wrong with your mate, Lewis."

Nathan Lewis gave me a look which said he'd kill me if he could, but I wasn't moved by it.

I already knew he'd kill me if he could.

After all, I had what he wanted more than anything else in the world: I had Rachel as my mate.

Rachel had been a warm weight against my chest until I'd pushed her away from me. Her face was stricken as she looked from the nervous omega in the doorway to Nathan Lewis to me and back again.

Her concern for her brother was admirable in a way yet also perplexing to me. Why was she so convinced she needed to be here to wait on him? Ethan would likely not awaken post-op for hours. We were wasting time sitting around in the hospital waiting area just---waiting.

"You can go, Nathan. If you can't convince Lindy to go back to your parents on her own, why don't you take her home too? Or bring her up here to wait with us if you'd like to be here for Ethan."

"I'll only be a few minutes," Lewis promised Rachel, giving a dark glance my direction before following the omega downstairs to where Lindy Campbell was doing waiting of her own.

All of this waiting wasn't in my nature.

I tested my wolf's patience and found Wynd on the verge of drowsing off. He had no problem waiting out Ethan's surgery---why would he?

All Wynd wanted was to be with his mate and Rayne was right there beside us. I could feel her consciousness lightly touching ours off and on as the animals inside us communicated through our mating bond.

Our wolves were content to breathe beside one another. What would it take for Rachel and I to be content together? When would I stop feeling scalded by disapproval from her?

I still felt stung by the accusation Rachel had flung at me without thinking: did she believe I had forsaken William because of his injuries?

My older brother had been unknown to me until after the fight which removed him as heir to House Wright.

I'd known William was my brother in the way I'd known John Wright was my father. The fact I had family outside my mother was just that: a fact to be known. No one from House Wright had been interested in the bastard son of the Alpha and a woman who was not his Luna.

Mentioning a bastard child was considered a faux pas even among humans. Why would wolfen society be any different?

I hadn't needed to know my brother or sister. My mother had given me more love than any complete family ever could. We had been happy together just the two of us.

Rachel resumed pacing in the area between the rows of chairs. At least she wouldn't make me dizzy by running the circumference of the room like Lewis.

I didn't like seeing her so agitated though and Windsor wasn't paying attention from the look on his face. Now was as good a moment as any to try to speak with my mate.

Touching Rachel's arm as she passed by, I asked, "Can we step out to the hall a moment? I'd like the chance to speak with you. Privately."

"There's a chapel at the end of the hall," Windsor tossed out, not bothering to look at us, "The doors keep it relatively soundproof. I won't say you'll have total privacy, but it's as close as you'll come without leaving."

Rachel hesitated. Her whole body appeared to be strung tight from tension. I didn't know how to fix this situation for her. I didn't understand her concerns at all and I needed to understand if I was going to have a hope of making our mating work.

"We're only going to the end of the hall," I pointed out, frustrated Rachel seemed so reluctant to step away with me, "What can it matter if we're a few feet farther away? I'm not asking you to leave the hospital, Rachel. Only the room. Can you do that much for me?"

My irritation was clear in my voice.

If we were dealing with one another as we'd done before resuming our mating bond, I probably wouldn't have bothered to ask her to come with me.

Dragging her would have been more satisfying for the beast in me---throwing her bodily over my shoulder to carry her out of the waiting area would have been even more so.

I held my hand out, thrusting it closer to her when she hesitated to take it.

"Come get me if anyone steps out? If you hear anything at all---"

Rachel slipped her hand into mine while imploring Windsor to race to her with any news -who knew what she thought he could learn in the minutes we'd be gone- and I closed my fingers around hers to grasp her tightly. I knew I ran the risk of losing her to her anxiety if I didn't keep a good grip on her hand.

I nearly dragged her down the hall to the door with the symbol of our Moon Goddess emblazoned on it. I waited until we were inside the chapel and I was sure we were alone before speaking.

"You think I don't care about my brother."

Rachel looked shocked. It was nice to see her expression change from the drawn, worried look she'd had since learning of her brother's condition.

"What? I never said that!"

Her protest was ridiculous in light of how she'd come after me for promises and reassurances which could only be in regard to William.

"You think I don't visit William because of what? Disgust? Shame? William doesn't want visitors, Rachel. He won't agree to see Charlotte who was raised with him much less me. Why do you have to stay here? Are you doing it to prove you love your brother more than I love mine?"

Everything in wolfen society could be considered a competition. Wolves were animals as well as Man; animals defined their universe through a system of checks and balances. Boundaries mattered with animals and Rachel was dangerously close to crossing one of mine I hadn't recognized I had.

"It's not about loving him more, Tyler. He's my brother. My only brother. I can't just go home and wait on Art to call. That's not what families do."

"Are you implying I don't know how to treat my own family?"

I was getting angrier with every passing second. Rachel looked as if she was bewildered with my shift in moods, but I probed at our mating bond where I could tell she was aware of my feelings.

She knew how I was feeling and was choosing not to care. She was choosing to treat me as if I was an emotional cripple because she was worried her brother would become a physical cripple?

"No. No! Tyler, I just meant I can't leave without knowing my brother is going to be okay. We grew up basically alone after our mother died. Patrick hasn't been a father to either of us. Ever. You've met him. Can't you understand why we would be close?"

Knowing Patrick Flores as I did, I could imagine Rachel and Ethan only survived their youth intact because of their devotion to each other.

The rational part of me accepted Rachel's explanation while the emotional part of me -the Alpha part which reacted on instinct- encouraged me to bare my teeth at her in warning. How dare she? The more she tried to explain, the more offended I became.

Rachel had grown up with a criminal for a father, but I'd grown up in the middle of the Cold War.

John Wright turned everyday conversation into a bloody battle. No one was safe from his machinations. Every interaction with my father held the potential to result in something unspeakable happening.

"Growing up the bastard of John Wright didn't do me any favors where friends or allies were concerned. If I hadn't been able to hold my own, if I hadn't met Adam, if Adam hadn't chosen to take my side---Rachel, you act as if your life was impossibly hard without considering mine. Do you believe I grew up privileged?"

Money and power could buy privilege. Neither could ensure love.

"Tell me why Nathan Lewis is still here. Do you still have feelings for him?"

"Why are you acting like this? Why are you asking all this right now? I'm just worried about my brother! He's hurt, Tyler. Hurt bad enough to need a surgeon. They said his skull was fractured."

I refused to let Rachel turn everything back to her without acknowledging anything I'd said.

"I'm the monster in your story, Rachel. Since we met, that's how you've cast me. I'm a villain who stole you away from your prince charming. Even now, even after fully mating with me, even carrying my child, you still chose to insist another Alpha come to your rescue rather than trusting me to care for you."

I leveled her with a stare before giving her a final thought.

"You need to choose me, Rachel. I'm not asking you to give up your family or even your friendships. I'm asking you to choose me to give your loyalty to before I come to believe you'll never choose me at all."

I turned and left her in the chapel in favor of going back to the waiting room to continue to wait.