Chapter 23

Rachel POV

Camelot Records

Morning sickness persistently bothered me. I couldn't count on it to go away as the day wore on either. Sometimes I would feel nauseated all day long from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed.

I was tired often, too.

No one had warned me pregnancy could be so hard on the body. I was used to being healthy and able to do anything I chose. Feeling as if I needed to nap often, needing to keep ginger ale and crackers with me all the time to avoid being sick, and having body aches was totally foreign to me.

I would have had second thoughts about the baby except no matter how terrible I felt physically, I was elated mentally.

Every day was filled up with joy at the knowledge my baby was growing while I was making music I loved.

Dylan Roberts hadn't bothered with me which was nice. I worried he would notice something to do with my pregnancy and stir up trouble for me with Tyler. Our best option from here forward was to keep our distance from one another.

Tyler didn't want a child and I did. Life was just as it should be in my opinion.

My agent, Howard, had arranged several shows for me. I was flown business class and every appearance was nicer than the last. I was featured on several talk shows where I played my hit song "Love at the First Sight." My song began to get more traction than ever when a movie chose it to be the theme and began heavily advertising their trailers with my music over the images.

"You ready for another day in the studio?"

I smiled at Howard, "I'm definitely ready for more recording! We have three tracks to record today, is that right?"

"Yes. Are you sure you're feeling up to doing all three? We don't want to wear you out. You need to be aware of how to take care of yourself while you're trying to build your career."

I wondered if Howard knew about my pregnancy. If he did, he hadn't said anything. He made sure I had water and crackers and ginger ale. It was Howard who ensured every appearance had a private dressing room for my use. I was treated very well by every host at every performance; Howard was the one I had to thank for my good treatment.

"I'm taking care of myself!"

"You look tired. Make sure you get plenty of sleep between shows. The music will hold up on its own. You don't have to exhaust yourself to prove anything to anyone."

I felt as if I had a lot to prove.

Rumors about why I hadn't started my career straight out of college were terrible. People seemed determined to find some kind of scandal to link to me. The reality being I had found my mate and he'd not wanted me to work was not nearly interesting enough.

Tabloids were running a story I had been a rich man's kept mistress. Reporters were saying all my heartfelt words about love were the result of being in love with an unavailable man.

In a way, I thought they were right.

My mate hadn't wanted me even though we'd been meant to be according to fate.

Tyler had not come forward to speak out on my behalf; I wasn't surprised by his lack of interest. I had been a secret for him to keep when we had been mated. There was no reason for him to come forward to claim me as his own now our rejection as official.

"They're saying I'm a kept woman."

"They're going to say a lot of things about you, Rachel. You have to learn to shrug it off. Lies are always going to be more interesting than the truth as far as the media is concerned."

I didn't want to be lied about. My mating had started with a lie against my own conscience. I'd done what was necessary to protect my brother. I was going to have to do whatever was necessary to protect my child now.

"So you don't think I should worry about the headlines saying I'm a homewrecker? I'm a woman who seduces other women's men? I shouldn't worry they're painting me as a whore?"

Howard sighed. He pinched his nose between his thumb and forefinger before dropping his hand to his side again. I could tell he didn't want to have this conversation with me, but we needed to talk about it.

"You should worry about your music. I will worry about your reputation and how you're presented in the media. It's my job to keep you looking good. Trust me, Rachel. I'll keep your head above water. We can always get you a respectable escort."

"Or I could tell the truth? I'm a woman whose mating went badly. We're officially a rejected mating. We are rebuilding our lives. Separately. Don't you think people would understand that better than me pretending to date some man you hired to appear with me in public?"

Tyler had hired plenty of women to be his escorts in public. Jenny had been the most regular woman at his side, but the model hadn't been his only public date by a wide margin. I knew all about how easy it was to hire someone to appear to be something they weren't.

"Who says we have to hire a man? I've heard Nathan Lewis has quite a serious infatuation with you."

Nathan had stepped right back into my life as a friend. He had not pushed for a relationship outside of friendship, but I had a feeling he wanted more than a casual involvement with me.

Wolves often chose to form close relationships while growing up. I'd loved Nathan Lewis first and he would always have a place in my heart as a result. We weren't destined for each other though and I wasn't sure how I felt about letting him get involved with me when he had a fated mate somewhere in the world.

My fated mate hadn't turned out to be the fairytale I was promised growing up in wolven society, but that didn't mean I had no faith in fated mates.

My instincts drew me to Tyler Wright in a way I couldn't deny. I had enjoyed intimacy with him every single time no matter how he had treated me. Our wolves had been bonded together more closely than anyone could ever imagine if they weren't mated themselves.

Nathan Lewis deserved to find his own mate. I wanted him to have the fairytale I hadn't gotten.

"Nathan needs to focus on finding his mate."

"Nathan is a grown man who seems to be interested in making his own decisions about who he spends his life with---or do you think he's not competent to make up his mind himself?"

Howard knew there was no way to argue against Nathan making up his own mind regarding his mate.

If I claimed he couldn't make his own decisions, I was emasculating him and he was too much of an Alpha for me to try to knock him down. If I claimed he was making the wrong decision, I was as much as admitting I believed I had made a mistake in rejecting my fated mate.

"He's welcome to make his own choices. I just want him to know I care. I also don't want him to get caught in the rumor mill with me."

"I think his reputation could benefit from a little dirtying up. He's notorious for being the devoted son. Don't all women really want the bad boy?"

Howard was ridiculous. I laughed in spite of myself.

"Nathan Lewis is a lot of things, but he'll never be a bad boy. He is the pride and joy of House Lewis. Full Moon Pack is already counting down the days until his father retires to place him in the role of Alpha."

"How will that work? Does his old man have to die for him to take the throne so to speak?"

"No," I chuckled, "It's not the same as a throne either. He will take over the Alpha position when his father chooses to abdicate being head of the pack or he dies. His father will abdicate. He's very in love with Nathan's mother and they want to travel while they're still healthy enough to see the world."

"Well, I'm going to make sure you get to see the world as much as I can. In the meantime, go record some more music to make us both richer!"

I felt buoyant as I made my way to the recording studio. We hadn't solved the rumor mill problem, but Howard made me feel there was a good chance things would blow over on their own. I was going to enjoy exploring my career as much as I could before my baby arrived.

I only hoped I could make sure my baby was welcomed to the world with joy rather than lies and terrible tribulations. Could I give my child an amazing future through my willpower alone?