Chapter 40

Rachel POV

Sedan Backseat

"I want to know if I want to see my son or daughter, I can see them. Any time or day. I want to know holidays won't pass by without being able to see the child. I want to be there for every birthday. Every school function. Every Friday night football game."

I laughed a bit at the idea of any child of mine being interested in football.

"Tyler, you've never expressed any interest in being a father. You've loudly told me you don't want to be a father. Why the change of heart?"

Silence stretched between us as long as the endless road we traveled on. I finished my ice water and reached for the cup Tyler held. He surrendered it willingly. I found myself relaxing into the seat, enjoying the ride as Adam drove us smooth and steady, clearly experienced at driving the big sedan.

Tyler was looking out of the window when he murmured a reply to me. I wouldn't have been able to hear his reply if I weren't a werewolf. Human ears were definitely not sensitive enough to pick up the quiet response.

"I want to be a better father than mine."

Both Tyler and I had been raised by men who were not cut out to be fathers in one way or another.

John Wright only wanted to have an heir to his seat in the Alpha House while Patrick Flores only wanted a child to use to leverage in the event his debts outpaced his ability to pay them.

"I can understand how you feel. Do you think your father will let you?"

Neither of us could pretend our fathers had no impact on our lives. Mine made messes I had to address on a regular basis; Tyler's wrangled deals on his behalf just as often. We were the unfortunate victims of our parentage.

The only difference being I could now provide proof my father was not actually my father.

"I think I can work around him. I'm my own man."

"Are you?" I asked, curious more than accusatory, "You've kept me a secret our entire mating because of John. Are you saying you want to live differently now?"

"I'm willing to declare you my mate to anyone and everyone who will listen. My father will agree to leave us to raise our child as long as we do exactly as we need to do in order to register the babe as an heir to House Wright."

For a moment, I imagined my life with Tyler as his public mate.

We would have happy wolves who ran together under every full moon. Our child would be loved equally by their mother and father. I would have a husband to wait in the wings at my concerts while Tyler would have a wife on his arm at events.

Jenny the Model would have to eat crow while I took my rightful place at Tyler's side.

I enjoyed my imaginings enough to be willing to test Tyler's sincerity.

"If I agreed, how would things change besides we'd be public mates? You've never once told me you want me for me, Tyler. You've gone from saying we should get back together because fate says so to saying we should reunite because your father wants to steal our baby. Tell me: do you understand why I was unhappy?"

I let my head relax against the high back of the seat. The motion of the car lulled me into a sense of calm while I enjoyed my ice water. Adam met my gaze in the rearview mirror and gave me a wink which made me smile.

At least someone was on my side, right?

"You wanted me to be---more involved with you. You want no more public escorts. You want me to talk to you more. You want us to be friends. Am I missing anything?"

Tyler said it as if he were pulling teeth. Every statement was punctuated with a grimace or a huff. He clearly wasn't enjoying being on the other side of my questions. I would have smiled wider if I weren't concerned he would lose his temper completely with me.

Not for the first time, I was grateful both our wolves were sleeping.

We needed to talk as people rather than be slaves to our instincts.

"No, I think you've covered everything I want. Except, of course, I want you to actually love me. Do you think you can do that?"

Tyler surprised me by reaching over to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. He seemed far away as his eyes studied my face.

"I think I can do that. Do you think you can love me? More than you love Nathan Lewis?"

With my fated mate looking at me wistfully, I couldn't remember how much I loved Nathan Lewis.

I had been a girl when I had fallen in love with Nathan. We were teenagers who'd shared the excitement of first love. Every kiss had felt explosive. Every touch was fiery.

Love as a grown-up woman felt much quieter. I imagined how I wanted to be loved and came up with dreams of a mate who shared meals with me, laughed as our child crawled on the floor, held me in his arms at night while we shared a bed.

Tyler could love me.

If he could get over the first blush of betrayal which had started our mating.

"Can you forgive me for the way things started?"

"I can't forget it," Tyler admitted.

I felt a sadness settle deep into my bones.

We would never be able to start over.

The certainty of the knowledge left me utterly exhausted.

"Can you please take me home?"

"Adam."

"Yes, sir. On my way."

We took the next exit and I realized they were going to get me home. I had no idea how far we were from the apartment. I had a feeling the ride would feel instantaneous or endless or both at the same time. They would drop me off before going on their way back to the house I had such unpleasant memories of and then what?

Would we go back to ignoring each other or would we start calling one another again or would we go back to being with other people?

What did I want to happen next?

Tyler startled me out of my thoughts by pressing his warm lips against mine.

I knew if Rayne were awake, she'd have flushed my body with adrenaline as she became excited by the prospect of touches from her mate. My mouth was cold from drinking icy water and I found myself surprised the flush of heat raced through my veins without my wolf's involvement at all.

Willingly returning his kiss, I moved my lips in sync with Tyler's as he tried to tell me with his body more than he could say with his words.

I pushed against his chest -his body was so hard and huge and heavy- to distance us once more.

"I told you before, we can't just fall back into bed together. Don't you have any argument for me other than how well our bodies fit together?"

"Do you really think there's any argument better than how well our bodies fit together? Tell me Nathan Lewis makes you feel the way I do when he touches you."

Tyler was daring me to tell him I had let another man get intimate with me. His voice was smug enough for me to know he already knew I hadn't gone to bed with my former love.

"Tell me you can fall into bed with another woman. Does Jenny the Model make you hard, Tyler?"

I boldly placed my hand over the bulge in his pants, knowing exactly how his hard cock would feel beneath my palm.

We'd been a lot of things to each other, but we had never had a problem in the bedroom.

"No. No, she doesn't," Tyler gritted out, "Tell me if Nathan Lewis makes you wet, Rachel."

He reached across the seat to cup my breast and I gasped.

My nipples were tender; I had noticed my body was much more responsive as it changed with my pregnancy.

My gaze darted to Adam silently driving us along and I scooted back on the seat to put some much needed space between us.

Blushing all over with embarrassment, I apologized, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go so far. Can we---can we agree we both want what's best for our baby?"

"Yes. Can we agree we both want to give each other another chance?"

"How many chances will this make us?"

"Does it matter? I'm not keeping score," Tyler stated, raising a brow in challenge as he asked, "Are you?"

I shook my head 'no' as we pulled up in front of my apartment and I prepared to get out quickly for a rush to the door.

"I'll answer next time you call, Tyler."

I thought it was a nice compromise as I raced back into the apartment, hoping Bella and Jack hadn't called the police to report my abduction.