CHAPTER 3

Clement and Sophia had gone to Las Vegas frequently. He loved to gamble and he’d taught Sophia how to play all manner of casino games. He’d even sharpened her poker skills enough that she’d become a formidable opponent at the tables. Clement had always chuckled when her winnings topped his own, though she refused to play at the same table as him because his competitive streak was such that he didn’t like to lose. Even to his wife.

Their favorite place to stay was the Venetian, where Sandra had discovered the Lux Café and all the wonderful food on the menu. She’d been delighted when one had opened in Houston, and it had quickly become a favorite place for them and their friends to eat.

She hurried to the entrance, checking her watch with a grimace. Clement had always teased her about her lack of punctuality, and she was fifteen minutes late for her lunch date with Sophia and Karla.

The two women were waiting inside when Sandra rushed in. Her gaze immediately settled on her sister-in-law. The anniversary of Clement’s death was as hard for her as it was for Sandra because Clement was her only family. Sandra had made the effort to make sure she and Sophia remained close after his passing. They’d clung to one another, both grief stricken over their loss.

Shadows were evident in Sophia’s eyes, but they brightened when she saw Sandra and immediately went to hug her.

“How are you?” Sophia whispered.

Sandra squeezed her and pulled away with a smile. “I’m okay.” And she meant it.

Then she turned to Karla and pulled her into a hug.

“You doing okay today?” Karla asked quietly.

“Let’s sit and then we’ll talk. I’m starving,” Sandra said with a grin.

The other two women looked delighted over Sandra’s mood. It shamed her that she’d been a burden not only to Derrick over the last three years but to her closest friends as well. But no more. Today . . . Well, today was the first day in reestablishing her life. Of getting back on track and filling the void left by the death of her husband.

They were seated in a spacious booth—Sandra hated the long rows of tables that were practically on top of one another. Even if her conversation was casual, she hated to be overheard by others. And today of all days, she wanted to be afforded complete privacy.

“You look . . . different,” Karla mused, as they opened their menus.

Sandra left hers closed because she knew what she wanted. The others made fun of her because with all the wonderful selections on the huge menu, she usually got the same exact thing and today was no different. Shaking Beef. Her absolute favorite thing the Lux Café served.

“I am different,” Sandra said in a low tone.

Sophia’s eyes widened. “What’s happened?”

“It’s not what has happened. It’s what’s going to happen,” Sandra said firmly.

“Uh-oh. Do we even want to hear this?” Karla asked.

Silence fell over the table when the waiter appeared to take their orders. Only after he’d departed did Sophia prompt Sandra to explain what she’d meant.

Sandra sighed and then glanced up at Karla. “I wanted to ask you . . . I mean I know this is a personal question, but you’ve talked about it before and if it’s too personal, feel free to tell me to mind my own business, but I’d really like to ask you some questions about you and Ken.”

A dark shadow crossed over Karla’s face and sadness entered her eyes for a brief moment before she shook it away. But the look hadn’t gone unnoticed by either Sandra or Sophia, who exchanged quick puzzled looks.

“You know you can ask me anything,” Karla said lightly, though the lightness of her tone seemed forced to Sandra..

Deciding to try to figure out later what was behind that, Sandra plunged ahead.

“You’ve said that you and Ken have a dominant, submissive relationship. That he calls the shots in and out of bed. I just wanted to know . . . I mean this sounds stupid because of course you’re happy. Anyone who sees the two of you can see how in love you are, but I wanted to know more about how it works.”

Sophia paled and Sandra hated bringing up the subject in front of her, but she didn’t want to hide something this important from her sister-in-law. Not just a sister-in-law but her best friend. Sophia and Karla were her two best friends in the world. She couldn’t share this with them because it was huge. A monumental leap forward from the life she’d led the last three years.

“Sandra? Why are you asking?” Karla asked in a puzzled voice. One laced with concern.

Sandra took another deep breath and closed her eyes. She reached for Sophia’s hand because she knew this would be hard for her sister-in-law.

“You both know I loved Clement with all my heart. He gave me everything. But I’ve always had this . . . need. Craving. Desire. I don’t know what to call it. But I’ve always craved . . . dominance. And everything that goes with it. And it’s the one thing I knew he couldn’t, wouldn’t give me. I loved him too much to ever demand it of him. We spoke of it once. Early in our relationship. Before I knew about his childhood. He was always so afraid he’d turn out like his father. The idea of doing anything that might hurt me or that may be construed as abuse appalled him. And I think in the beginning he feared losing me because he couldn’t provide me with that kind of relationship.”

Sophia’s gaze had dropped, but Sandra could see the tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. Sandra tightened her hold on Sophia’s hand, lending her strength that she hadn’t had until now.

“And you want it now?” Karla asked, her brow furrowed.

“Slowly” Sandra nodded.

Sophia’s head came up, a protest already forming on her lips, but Sandra silenced her with another squeeze to her hand.

“I don’t want a relationship. I mean not a permanent one. I found perfection once. I know I’ll never find that kind of love again. But I need something to fill the void. A void that’s always existed, but while I was with Clement it wasn’t so aching. I wasn’t lonely. He provided me what I needed, even if a tiny part of me always wanted and needed more. I know that sounds terrible. I loved him with all my heart and soul, and I would have never done anything to hurt him. But he’s gone. I’ve had to come to grips with the fact that no matter how hard I wish it, he’s not coming back.”

Emotion knotted her throat and she blinked as hot moisture clouded her eyes. She wiped hastily at her cheeks, not wanting to make a scene in public. Sophia’s head lowered again, a tear sliding down her pale cheek.

“I’m lonely,” Sandra whispered. “And I need something, someone to fill that void that he left behind. It’s time for me to let go and try to move on. I’ve found a place . . .”

“What kind of place?” Karla asked bluntly.

“It’s called The House.”

Karla’s expression eased. “Yes, I know it. Ken and I have a membership there. He is friends with the owner, Damon Roche. Damon is married and has a child now, so he isn’t quite as active as he was before, but he still runs it.”

“He’s who I talked to,” Sandra admitted. “He vetted my membership. He was very kind to me. He wanted to make sure I knew what I was getting into.”

“And do you?” Sophia blurted, lifting her head again. “Sandra, this is serious. What if you get hurt? What if you hook up with the wrong man? You know what kind of monsters exist out there. God knows, my father was one of them. How can you even think about going blindly into a situation like this?”