Chapter 1
Maren's POV
The day college applications were due, Fern Whitmore wouldn't stop crying — and my two childhood best friends were completely wrapped around her finger.
They actually threatened to give up their Ivy League spots to follow her to community college.
I tried everything to talk them out of it. Nothing worked. So I went behind their backs and called both their parents.
Their parents showed up that same night and put a stop to it. Applications corrected, crisis averted, everyone back on track.
Or so I thought.
Fern lost her two personal ATMs, and one night she posted a goodbye message on social media and swallowed a bottle of pills.
Nash and Declan didn't blame her for it. They blamed me.
They lured me up to the roof. Both of them shoved their hands against my chest.
"Maren." Declan's voice was ice. "You ruined Fern's future. Go apologize to her in hell."
I fell twelve stories.
When I opened my eyes, I was back at the beginning.
This time, I'm not saving anyone.
"Maren? Hello? You in there?"
That voice. Sweet and soft and completely fake.
I snap back. I take a sharp breath, chest still tight. No cold rain. No impact. Just the hum of the AC and the stale smell of the computer lab.
The screen in front of me glows with the Common App login page.
I'm back. I actually made it back. To the exact moment it all fell apart.
"Maren, can you please talk some sense into Nash and Declan?" Fern sits at the computer next to mine, eyes red, dabbing at tears with her sleeve. "My GPA is nowhere near good enough. Community college is basically my only option. But they scored so high on the SAT, and now they're saying they want to scrap their Ivy applications and come with me. I can't let them do that, it's not right..."
She trails off, voice dropping to a whisper. "But if they don't come... I don't know anyone there. I'd be completely alone. I don't think I could handle it."
The whole time she's talking about not wanting to hold them back, her fingers are locked around Declan's sleeve.
She's got it dialed in perfectly. Just helpless enough to make any guy feel like a hero.
In my past life, Declan and Nash caved right at this point. I panicked. Begged them to think it through. And when they wouldn't listen, I ran out of the lab and called their parents, who forced them to switch their applications back.
And I paid for it with my life.
Right on cue, Declan covers her hand with his. "Fern, stop talking like that. What does it matter where we go to school? You matter more than any school on that list. I'm changing my application right now."
"Same." Nash crosses his arms like he's making some grand declaration. "Harvard, Yale, none of it means anything without Fern. I'm not leaving her."
I watch the three of them put on this whole show, and I almost laugh.
Let it go. Their choices, their consequences.
If they want to throw everything away, fine. I'll let them.
When Fern notices I haven't said a word, something shifts in her expression. She reaches over and grabs my hand.
"Maren, you should come too. Honestly, with your grades, it doesn't even matter where you go. We're a group. All four of us. I don't want that to change."
That's Fern's idea of being a good friend. Pull everyone else down so she doesn't have to feel like the only one at the bottom.
I pull my hand back and look at the screen. "Where you apply is your business. I'm not going to get in the middle of it."
All three of them go quiet.
They're used to me chasing after them, cleaning up the mess, playing the responsible one. The look on their faces right now tells me they have no idea what to do with this version of me.
"But community college was never part of my plan."
I push my chair back and stand. "This is a big decision. I need to go home and talk it over with my parents first."
The moment I move toward the door, Declan and Nash step in front of me.
Declan squares his shoulders, looking down at me like I've already done something wrong. "Since when are you this selfish, Maren? Fern has always been there for you. All she's asking for is a little support, and you're seriously going to run home to your parents?"
Nash grabs my arm. "Look at her. She's been crying this whole time. You really can't make one decision on your own? Fine. We'll make it for you."
