Chapter One
I woke up at twenty-seven again, still tied by a sacred mate bond to the most powerful Alpha in the Northwest. We had twin cubs. Everyone said I was lucky.
Before my first life ended, that bond had helped destroy me.
This time, I took the contract that could dissolve it to my mate's first love.
“Ronan's yours,” I told Vanessa. “The cubs, too. Get his Alpha mark on this, and after the bond-breaking ceremony, I'll leave.”
She stared at the document. I'd been his Luna for six years. She had spent long enough trying to take my place that she couldn't understand why I was handing it over.
Vanessa ran a finger around the rim of her cup.
“What are you trying to pull, Elara?”
Across the table at the Moon Cafe, I held her gaze. “Nothing. I'm tired.”
“Do you know how many women would kill to be Ronan's Luna?”
Of course I knew. Ronan topped the Wolf Council's rankings. Alpha Weekly had named him the continent's most desirable mate, and even the Royal Pack had wanted him for their princess.
Once, I'd been as dazzled as any of them.
“Then you shouldn't have trouble taking my place.” I nudged the contract closer. “They prefer you anyway.”
Vanessa looked down at the sacred seal. Her fingers stopped moving. She read long enough for the coffee between us to cool, searching for whatever trap she expected me to have set.
At last, she picked up the document.
“Fine. If you're offering, I'll take it.” Her eyes met mine again. “But once I have him, don't expect me to give him back.”
“You won't have to.”
I meant it. Knowing what waited for me if I stayed, I could endure her satisfaction.
Vanessa moved to a booth beside the front window. She touched her temple and opened a mind link.
“Ronan, honey, I'm at the Moon Cafe. Can you come get me? Elara wants to talk to you about something.”
I stayed at our table.
Most of my calls to him went unanswered. Sometimes I felt him shut me out before I'd even finished asking for him. There was always pack business that couldn't wait.
For Vanessa, he arrived within minutes.
He strode through the entrance in a fitted black leather jacket, our children following him. Caleb and Chloe saw Vanessa and ran straight into her arms.
“Vanessa!” Chloe pressed her cheek against her neck, breathing in her sweet Omega scent.
Ronan stopped beside them. “What do you feel like tonight? A hunt, or dinner at the pack restaurant?”
He sounded so gentle that I had to look away for a moment.
“Before we decide, there's something I need you to sign.” Vanessa took the contract out of her bag and folded it back to the page requiring his mark. “I found a house I love. The purchase needs an Alpha's approval.”
He took the paper without reading it, pricked his finger, and pressed his blood mark onto the page.
“You know you don't have to ask.”
I watched his hand lift away. There it was: the mark I'd needed, given without a question because she had asked.
“Are you getting a house?” Caleb asked. He caught his father's sleeve. “Buy us the one next door. Chloe and I want to live with Vanessa.”
He glanced toward my table, then lowered his voice. “We don't want to spend all day with Mother.”
Ronan frowned, but only briefly. “All right. We can buy another one.”
“There's no need.” Vanessa stroked Caleb's hair. “I've made room for you both. And for your father, of course. You can visit whenever you miss me.”
Chloe threw her arms around Vanessa's neck.
“You're the best. A million times better than Mother.”
Pain tightened under my ribs. The mate bond was still there, still forcing me to feel what I had spent years trying to ignore. The contract hadn't freed me yet.
I picked up my bag and left them planning their new home.
Outside, I stopped long enough to breathe. I had already lived through what came next once. Watching it begin again didn't make it hurt less.
My bond with Ronan had united two powerful packs. The Moon Goddess had chosen us, and our families welcomed the alliance. I had welcomed it for a different reason: I had loved him since I was a girl.
He'd been the Alpha I dreamed of. I thought being his fated mate meant that, in time, he would love me too.
But Vanessa had been his first love. When she'd left to pursue greater power, he had gone quiet for a few days. He hadn't chased her. He was too proud for that. Instead, he'd accepted our bond.
I mistook his willingness to marry me for a willingness to begin again.
For six years, I gave him everything I knew how to give. I bore his twins, cared for his household, and waited for the distance between us to ease. Then Vanessa returned, and I saw how easily he could be warm when he wanted to be.
He didn't ask to dissolve our bond. He simply turned his attention to her and left me with the pain of it. Caleb and Chloe followed him, until getting close to their own children became another thing I had to beg for.
In my first life, I kept trying.
By the time I was sixty-two, the damaged bond had drained almost everything from me. Ronan sent me to a crumbling house on the edge of the territory. He said I needed rest, and that the pack shouldn't have to see their Luna like that.
On my last full moon, I lay there alone, trembling so hard I couldn't lift myself from the bed. I tried to reach him and the children through our links. All I could sense was the northern mountains, where they were vacationing with Vanessa.
I remember trying to turn toward the window. There was moonlight on the floor, just beyond my reach. My wolf was fading, and I couldn't draw enough strength to hold her together.
The last thing I felt was Ronan cutting what remained of our bond.
Then I died.
I had wished for one more chance. Now I was twenty-seven again, and his blood mark was drying on the contract Vanessa held.
I wouldn't spend another lifetime waiting for him.
